Reading her poems to try and look back
Crying these tears while trying to turn back
Wondering why I had to hurt her so bad
Wondering how I could've been so horrible
Horrible enough to awaken the beast
The beast known as "Depression"
The beast known as "Suicide"

How could I have done this to her
Why... did I do this to her

I should've saved her
I should've shown her the truth
But I didn't
And now...
Now it's too late

Now she's dead
And she died thinking I hated her
Thinking I would be fine without her

But in the end...
She was wrong
She was so wrong...

Someday I'll see her again
But this time... it'll be because I met my end
And I look forward to that day

I don't look forward to it because I'll be dead
But instead
Because I'll be with her again

Heaven or hell
For better or worse
I no longer care
As long as being away from her is no longer a curse

As I look up to the starry sky
Time stands still
I remember the stories she would tell me
The ones about her getting up in the middle of the night just to gather her thoughts and look at the starry sight
Those stories brought me such joy

But the stories are over
They've been put on a shelf
Now the only thing I wonder
Is if my story should be put on a shelf too

Runny nose
Broken heart
Tear filled eyes

These are all side effects...
Side effects of when your best friend dies

Broken promises
Dying hearts
Breaking hearts
And disappearing dreams

All of it seems...
To be because of me

It was about a month since she passed
I didn't know what to do
I was such a mess

I was screaming
I was crying
I was giving in

All the fights
All the late nights
I should've known something wasn't right

But I was too oblivious
Too selfish
Too caught up in what I wanted

And now it's over
She's gone
As am I

Now there's nothing left
Nobody left
Only an empty, wilted garden

It's really true
I'll be gone away soon.
Don't you worry about me,
my feeling won't stay long.

But still, I want you to know,
that my heart is sincere.
Even if you aren't capable of
loving me,
I'll always hope that someday will come.
Even if it only happens in my wildest dream.