when I say last year I hit an all time low,
I mean that I spent two hundred and eighty nine days without sunlight,
I’ve never known a rose to grow immersed in eternal night -
auctioned off my heart for the gift of sight,
I wonder how long I’ve lived my life blinded by the rose tinted glass?
false love will have you struggling to distinguish between gold and brass.
I draw out the sequence.
your palms met her flesh,
my reflection in the mirror is reduced to ash.
I feel my heart hit the floor,
blood stains in the carpet - proof that love does not live here anymore
next time just wrap them around my neck,
I get the same hand of cards
out of every single deck.
from love,
suffocating, choking,
that is the only sensation I have come to expect,
you know that better than me,
extinguished every fire set to your trees,
don’t you remember?
she left everything around you to burn,
choked on all the smoke,
still you fixated on all the ember,
if this body was ever not hollow,
I wouldn’t remember.
two hundred and eighty nine days,
I spent treading in the shallow,
moulded my existence out of clay just to fill another persons shadow.

Everytime she loves , her heartbreaks ,her soul bleeds,the more scars she has ,the more her heart turns black and the flowers in the forest in her garden die, her wings turn black so dark , she begins to not believe in love , she begins to fade away so does her love,her wings turn black and so does her eyes, she flys to her castle and hides away from the sun and never comes out until the sun is gone , no bright colors and her dark black eyes ,her soul bleeding out every time she cries ,this is what happens when she begins to break,everything begans to fade away until All her pain Is gone and everything comes back to life , the flowers start to bloom and her eyes aren't dark but blue like the sky and she begans to stop crying and her heart drys up ,the scars heel but forever there ,her heart turns red and the garden comes back to life, but her belief in love isn't so easy to spark up, her wings aren't dark and either are her eyes , shes at peace and happy again until the end of time .

testing the waters,
I let him every time.

I don’t know why...
it’s like I have no control over my own mind.

weak sense of self, so he takes advantage

it’s like i know i shouldnt,
yet i don’t want to leave him stranded.

The darkest nights
Are always those you must face alone

No knight in shining armor
Will appear until it’s already dawn

You're your only savior
Must create sense of this senselessness
Answers only exist inside your own abyss

Depend on no one, dear
You’ll only regret

Yourself Is all you’ve really got
So never lose sight of your own heart

They’ll lie
They’ll cheat
They’ll steal  
They’ll die

They’re never really there

You’re all you’ve got, my love
Until time makes you see
The deepest beauty lies within
Your own insanity

All the nights of unpleasantries
will no longer keep me awake.
I will never again dream
of you by mistake.

I wish that you would die.
A freak accident leaves you paralyzed
maybe a piano from the window
That lives in the blue of my eyes.
Or maybe that "random" passing car
will clip you in the thigh
And you'd be left (like me)
alone; just to die.

You could paint the town red
with your angry tongue
but instead maybe if i cut it out
you'll finally listen instead.

In laymens terms, prepare to be hurt,
I'll smile as your body lies in the dirt.
And blood seeps into your shirt,
coloring the earth.
Your purpose has been confirmed.

*******.

We never made sense
I should've listened to myself
It's crazy how you left me, for me
And not for someone else

I'd be lying if I said
This isn't hurting me
I'm a sucker for telling you
This is hurting me

I can't tell the difference anymore
Admitting a problem
Is that my solution
Or is this my problem

Numbing the pain
Doesn't make it ok
I'm gonna get you back
And still won't be ok

Trying to keep my wrist closed
So I don't **** me
And you're unphased by my pain
And that's what kills me