i told him i didn't love him
every word burned truth
he said he could wait forever
he could hold his love to the last
that he could keep the time we spend
and capture it in the lens of his newly dusted camera
he said
"if that's where i can have you,
                         i'll love you there."
like a thing to be phtotgraphed
           he talked about me like a thing worthy of being kept
a story he never wanted to forget
           a moment to capture
"i see what others can't and keep it
                          the  difference between dreams
                                        and reality
                                            is her."

2/5/09 - The day I lost my best friend (Grandpa)
7/?/12 - Moved in with dad
12/11/16 - Tried to KMS
9/16/17 - The day my dad and stepmom got married
4/3/18 - Started dating my boyfriend
6/19/18 - The day my dad gave me up and kicked me out
6/23/19 - Day my uncle died. He never gave up on me
10/3/19 - My best friend died(Grandma)
12/9/19 - The day I broke up with my boyfriend

New: 3/13/20 - Moved states
New: 7/21/20- Moved schools

i remember for a long time i was trying
i tried to remember your smile
and your words
i tried to remember your laughter
and how your fingers skim over skin
i told myself
i will never forget
but i came back to those soft-pressed papers
just to find you
again

The urge to forget
Is so strong

The feelings of pain
Is too raw

I need a distraction
Life is hard

No more smiles today
I've run out

Please help me out
I can't function