Brew tragedy tea
and drink without
tasting it.
Keep checking the meaning of
'forever',
in case it's been redefined
in less absolute terms.
Shiver through the heatwave and watch
the colour bleed out of the summer.
Dig a hole that won't be deep enough.
Shower off the crazy sweat and grave dirt
and pretend like maybe
you'll do the dishes.
Rupture your inner workings
as you scream at the universe
for ******* up so badly.
Lapse into the cold, sterile embrace
of catatonia, grateful
to feel nothing for a while.
Cry so long and so hard you forget
why you're crying,
then remember and cry
longer and harder.
Try brokering a deal with fate's
Appeals Department: offer
your organs, your eyesight,
however many years off your life,
to get him back.
Search for meaning and find none.
Rage against the perversity of it all.
Howl that death shouldn't feel derivative.
Remind yourself that this
isn't just a sick joke.
Hate Elisabeth Kübler-Ross for being right
and yourself for being so generically human.
Realise how little
knowing helps.
Reacquaint yourself with anhedonia.
Try not to hate the blue sky
or the birds who have returned
to sing in his back garden.

Life flows in ways no one knows,
When were up were down,
When were square your round,
When your right we're wrong and
When your soft were strong.

a thought runs through it pays little attention to you, you can yell and scream tryin chase it out of a dream, it will haunt your mind, make you feel like a puppet hanging from your spine.

In the end we know your fate can not be controlled, it feels like the decisions we make are equivalent to a paperweight.
Yet we reserve the right to bathe in the sweet blue lights, while incased in red our souls no longer in our heads.

Impervious to the oscillating fans of time
It ran into all man made obstacles
The question burned on the final cross
“Were you the real master all this time?”
Until I staked it with the sword of progress
Soon enough, we turned into rats
A sense of humor was well written
Into the natural order of all things
But I still had to pick off dead skins
From my head onto the winds
Leading me to self-deprecate
I wondered, what was the point?
Grasping at that marage of me
Burning homework in fifth grade
Pillars of bright fuzzy bliss
Surrounded the flames around
I climbed and I climbed up one
Until I reached a pulsating hue
I touched it and the bell rang
I looked down to see superiors
Laughing, for I had to fall down
Then, I felt the rope burn

Now don’t get hurt
Because the way that things are going
Proves this will only get much worse
So I observe
Then I codex the minutiae
That comprise your waking world
Threats unfurl
Then I realize way too late
That I cannot shake this girl
No, I cannot break the pearl necklace
And let the pearls disappear

I’ll wait a year
And maybe realize that by then
That this was all unfounded fear
You’ll disappear
My emotions will reset again
And then I’ll settle here
For whomever I’ll come close to
Someone close enough to hear and feel and hold
Someone close enough to love
But I won’t forget the space we shared
The stars we shared above
And I won’t forget the memories
Affection, care, and gentleness
Fate silently rebuffed

Come closer here and together
Let us share a final dance
Come with me dear, and let’s have fun
Forget any romance
Because that’s not what we’re here for
We’re here for the blissful radiance
The comfort of togetherness
The closeness of companionship
The air suspended in a trance
And so we dance and dance and dance

One, two, three step, dear don’t trip
I’ll rest my hand upon your hip
And relegate existence to a grade lower than this
So I’ll concentrate on keeping my eyes
From resting on your lips

This is goodbye, I’m well aware
Admission, valediction
Along with regrets I’ve yet to spare
How I would’ve liked to daily run my fingers
Through your hair
Oh what I would give to gaily
Spend my days with you still there
But mental fictions hold no truth
And hope degrades into despair
So I cannot let this pass
Without saying all is fair
Oh, these days have been so fair

But tonight we’re waltzing in an hourglass
And time has crystallized
And the sands have stilled like snowflakes
Seen reflected in your eyes
No, I can’t let go just yet
Oh, I’m so lousy at goodbyes
If a good life’s led to this
Then I’d assume this was the prize

In our little bubble
The universe has folded in
And I try so hard to exile
Feelings I have so long held within
But in this endless moment
All I manage is a grin
And in an instant realize
Just how good our time has been
Oh
How good our time has been

-AK

In my passing
what will they say
as they gather round the death display
will they shed a tear
for this pallid face
or feign a moment of silent grace
the final glances
the final sighs
the final light on sleeping eyes
the coffin closed
the voices fade
I watch them walk from Sun to shade
back to their homes
back to their lives
where perhaps a piece of me survives

all things consist as sounds consist
of the elements
[Here follows the history of the four]
evident then,
what we have said before
all men seek causes named
we cannot name any described before
not at all.
the Subject lisps
it is young and bone by virtue
the essence and substance of
flesh and tissues
the elements and
the names - fire and earth and water and air.
He has not said clearly.
Our views have been expressed before;
but let us return the difficulties
perhaps we may get some help towards
our difficulties.
The Subject of our inquiry:
we are seeking the universe.

the fire, forthcoming
as flame would follow
moth to candle
vapor to lust
lust to yearn
yearning to dust.
A fire’s flame, inquiries made
the perfect deep shade
of rust.

crumbling to ferrous, ferric
streaks in the Earth
the earth.
O humble, o depths
of rich and mysterious mud
o magnum mysterium
overturned with resounding
thud
and iron streaks richer than blood.

but crumble it shall
in many waters, rivers
the orbital, the oculus
the eye of all clarity
and all washed away
it is time
it is time
the Subject: washed away

into vapor
into air
into wind
the howling, the holy
the Subject lisps
and it is holy wind
holy flame
holy earth
holy water
wholly: the Universe
and nothing more
and nothing less
than its elements
than sound
Here follows the mystery of the four:
they are holy, inherently
and wholly, inherently pure.