You found out I called you crazy,
but to be fair you were the same man who
stabbed himself on purpose and
picked at wounds just to see how well the scars held up
under your knife.

The same man who woke up with bruises for hands and
bourbon for breath.

You always slept with your eyes open,
glazed over like a snake ready to strike.
You said this was from spending 19 years locked in a cage
like a feral animal.
I see that didn't teach you anything.
Some beings can never be rehabilitated;
they should have never released you back into the wild.

You picked roses because they reminded you of your dead mother
and once you made me talk to her ashes
and afterwards you threw me on your pool table
and made a mess of me.

You said it was for your memory,
I used it for my art.

You would cut me up for fun and stalk me for pleasure.
You say bourbon and *** makes you feel real again.
You would always tell me I was too pretty for you and
we would laugh along to gory movies until our eyes half closed in drunken lust and all I wanted to do was drink from you.

You would lock your door and turn on the fairy lights
and touch me real slow and hard until I became cold from the
beating of your heart next to mine.

You always said you were going to leave,
I never thought you'd just disappear
and still be 5 minutes away from me.

You are a ghost that I wish would haunt me a little more often
because I am reduced to ashes now just like your cremated mother.

You turned me rabid and mean.

You never told me how to make this stop.
I just keep bleeding from the wounds you left.

You turned me into the same animal you are.

and that's when i realized,

you will not come home to me, you never could.

i am not soft or flexible, i am all sharp teeth and rough tongue.
i am more carnage than compassion.
my jaw clenches to show i could be nothing but cruel, never will be kind.

and who wants to call a wild beast theirs?
the fairytales never end that way.

Like lightning
You dance in the darkness
Spreading yourself in all directions
It's hard for me to elude you

I'm captivated
Robbed of my soul
I serve you my blood dripping heart
On a plate made of star fire

I'm sure you have a whole collection
All propped up on dusty shelves
shriveled and dried up
lifeless little beasts

I wonder
Do you ever take them down
And think about the broken rib cages
About the intercostal spaces
Where you pressed your fingers deep

Do you think about the moon
And the stars during the gloaming hours
About the time the night sky covered
all our sins like a blanket

You can't hide from me
I saw your hollow face the night you
hijacked my soul

You ripped into me like a ravenous hyena
Laughing, laughing, laughing
As you left me there to rot.

Christ, people
you're all an
utter ****** embarrassment.
you showed great promise,
in those early days,
crackign skulls with stone clubs,
howling at morning suns,
filthy and *******.

but you've only gone and lost the bleeding basics, haven't you?
you don't **** on your territory- what territory?
some big old boy called 'government' has been ******* all over you,
and you applaud like a foolish clown.

you clip your nails with metal, out of necessity,
because they're not being ground on rock
in the fling and throes of the hunt.

you've become terrified of dirt, and the possibilities of the body,
you can't even stomache your meat raw. pathetic.
meek and obsolete, wandering lost and lonely.
you've no pack instinct, and pander on and on and ******* ON

about 'love.' what a villaniously clean word,
not even a scratch of dirt, no delving in warm pink orifices,
filthy and *******

you may be top dog, but you've lost the dog, and are falling from the top.

Oh mother and father
The fields and the bibles
The barns and the woods
A bird cries for more
Green forever

Oh my love; my queen
The carvings and the maples
The sweet lips and gentle
Hands clasping my arm;
Moonlight quiet and sunlit smiles
For a while.

Oh brothers and sisters
Look at the fire
Look at the ash
Look at the skies
Feel my skin
Feel

A dry scale on my back

Crawl in the forests
Roll in the mud
Feast on the fallen
Birth to the given
Eyes on the sky and the sky so blue
I am alive
I am alive

I
Am Alive.