Two screws in a week have turned loose.  
Upholstery? It's needin' a boost.  
So off to the carpenter's place,  
A quick calming break  
    From our daily rat-race.

The faithful go daily,  
    you know,  
For it keeps their spirit  
    aglow.  
Though weekly's required  
    to stay ruddy and clear,  
Pray for those that come
    just once a year.

Just as the chair  
    starts ever to fade,  
Our soul needs its care  
    to keep it well-made.  
A heart, left untouched,  
    becomes cloudy, unclear,  
But the carpenter's polish  
    wipes cloudy tears.

For the carpenter can fix in a jiff  
A heart that has hardened too stiff;  
And when soul's window pane  
Has grown cloudy again,  
    he'll wash it and call it a gift!

how we broke
how we broke
how we broke
we were

we were made
no

we were born
we were born made
made
for each other
like the flower
blooms
made
blooms
made
blooms, made, to bloom
from its seed
the formula of life was written
and you were my blooming
you opened my eyes to the light
to the aridness of the dark
but
I saw you
linger
even as you taught me hope
how you toed the shadows
thumbed the seams
of life
to give death
a peek

and I shuddered
for I know it then
how I loved you
that's why
I learned to love goodness
for I remembered how
every time
the darkness spat you out
the blood
was too much to clean
it had to be burned
prayed away
commanded
warred with
your blood or his, as well...

I learned to love the light
but in time
I would learn
I loved the light
so much
for saving you
that I
learned you into forgetfulness
into regret
I learned you into spite
as, despite how I loved the light
because of you
I learned, I only loved the light
in the end
the darkness ate all that made you
visible
to my heart
visible

but I still knew you
knew you
I still knew
you were all I ever wanted
dreamed of

even in loneliness
abandonment
even in the arms of a thousand lovers
fragrances beyond aroma
beyond memory
beyond touch, I felt them
and in the midst
of the tumult
the waves of their sating
the kaleidoscope of *******
a thousand sighs
a thousand hot, sopping shivers
a thousand moans, all whispering,
tenderly, my name,
all in your voice
your voice
in your voice they chorused
and I was abloom
with the hearing of you
in their thousand harmonies of one you,
I loved you, all over again
and realized how,
though I love the light
the darkness in it,
what brings contrast
meaning to all the joys of life
what brings purpose
is how you, in your darkness
are my darkness - that you do not complete me,
you empower my reason to live
and I see you, unliving,
never knowing love
as it is the curse of your being
when you are with me,
you forget the dark
you forget the pain of what awaits in it
and you cling to me,
like breath in the lungs
like blood in the veins
our clinging is,
       what IS

and you become the light
you become it, as I
become the dark
to give you breath
to give you force in your heart
that it may be again
that it
your heart
may beat again
I become the dark
I lose the light
that you may see me
beyond the glare,
catch a glimpse of me, again
for when my light is lost
I know you will abandon me
call me cursed,
unholy, for what need a man
a thousand holy ululations of wives enthralled
to hear his wife
scream in the dark
that she has lost herself to dark princes
who ever would be princes
for kings they never became
and never would become
patricide of the light, they earned their keep
as princes
fallen, with you they played,
in your womb, and your blood they drank
that's why,
a thousand was plenty enough, to drown out
the sense of loss of you, from the abandon of me
that you purchased your pleasures
I made love, made marriage, made home,
with a thousand women, as still, you were never lost to me

still you were what bloomed again
with every peace found
I kept a part for you
every new light I loved
I loved you greater
I love you still
I love you as the time of day loves itself
right in the moment
in the present
where, when we first met
first kissed
first made our way, across the altar
made love, in those presents
I am present
with you, your presence is with me
I know you
love you, in the midst of our present
our every present
you are the gift of living
in my heart, my soul
my spirit,
the morning birds are your laughter
your touch
your will to love me, despite all we've suffered
you are eternal
and I am nothing
if not faithful
to a woman who has never been
what anything is worth
giving up on
for
or to, when you are that weight, on the scale
I am the balance that never tips against you
I am that one flesh, weighted with you
for to abandon you, would be to not love myself
and so, that that I love myself, has me loving you,
I wait for when you, yourself, will love you, too,
for maybe, if I'm lucky, for the first time, you will
finally, begin to love me back, for the first time...

... maybe

In this boundless world, I have known only you,
You were there with every breath I took,
To shelter my heart, to kindle my hope,
That one day, this merciless suffering will be gone.

Above the sky, a Giant Turtle drifts through the air,
Ancient and wise, it holds countless tales to tell.
For millennia, it has sailed the sea of clouds,
Never once pausing, never once looking below.

Each whisper of wind has carried me here,
To a bed of yellow flowers beneath the Great Oak.
The story speaks of one who once stood there
The one who once brought joy and love to this world.

Do not rush little beauty,
Nature's timing is perfect.
It will, when ready, gently unfold your petals,
Revealing how you are exquisite.
Though life may bruise you,
New colours will emerge.
Though there may be tears,
Whispery wind will refresh you with a new urge.
Rain will thus come, muttering your soil,
The sunshine with its sublime rays,
No toil will be wasted,
Because all is written on your days.

No soul paid witness,
To the burst of light,
At the beginning of time.

No soul saw the magic,
As it grew, forming the light,
Forming the dark.

No soul heard the heavenly spirits call,
From the risers of the stars,
Down to earth to raise the first dawn.

So all we have is faith,
A lone tie to what we failed to see.

If I woke up and worked every day
with a calm execution of plans,
or perhaps at least stayed on approximate track
with the basic things for which I stand.
 
If with a small grain of faith I’d hold the course
knowing that by small things come the grand.
Then I think I’d be dangerous, I’d finally be...
an instrument in the Lord’s hands.

In the light of Easter morning
The stone remained unmoved.
Unsure of what to do at first, we waited
Then we tried to push it clear—
It wouldn’t move.

We watched throughout the afternoon,
Most left by by three, a few remained—
We didn’t hope, but didn’t leave.
By six the sun was setting,
When the darkness reached the stone
The day was done and we were weeping—
And the stone remained unmoved.



3/25/2024

From nowhere...
I started singing:
"calling you forever..."
and in my spirit, I heard the reply...
"I've been calling you forever!"