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Justin Aptaker Jun 2019
i am the man who weeps for the world
i am the man who weeps

i do not, I will not
bleed for the world
i’m not the one who bleeds

little sister, my love
do not dry your eyes on my account

i am a fleeting consolation

i have been
to the ends
of the world
i have seen
the great emptiness (it lies)
on the other side of that horizon
Written by Justin Aptaker ca. 2010 - 2011
Justin Aptaker Jun 2019
this four-cornered cave, i’ve been calling my home
the sun has dried up
and left bleached like a bone

this bone i’ve been living in, like an old woman’s shoe
but i have no children
and i have nothing to do

this deed that i’ve done, it has been done for me
but I was condemned
and condemned to be free

this freedom is nothing, not like freedom at all
i sit staring at shadows
shadows play on the walls
Written by Justin Aptaker, 2006
Justin Aptaker Jun 2019
the stars are lying
between layers of ether and projected purpose
burdened with grandiose plans to toy with the dust bunnies that blow
everywhere like tumbleweeds
in a western flick just before final showdown
the outcome depends on an angry Matryoshka doll of endless ecosystems

remember that perfect silence fell on our history like a shadow, guillotine-sharp
cutting out any tongue that would retell the fable of Hiroshima
reborn, She was immaculately misconceived as the unwanted child of a firefly
and a street sweeper
while in correlation a pin crashed to the floor of a factory somewhere
in the boondocks of Babylon

i mention this in riddles, not to mislead, but hoping to preserve my own
slimy muscle tucked safely in its bacteria-laden skull, where it burns white and blue
to taste, and somehow amoeba all things sensual into itself
sweet water, salt and iron

for no reason i riddle on alone
as plain discourse will not prove to be any more terrible for me in a day
my tongue, the unstable centerpiece of all things volatile
will prove to be its own undoing, not needing a blade to mute it
its white glow will one day implode to expand in an instant of recklessness
which vaporizes tongue before skull
to at once spray my organic-wet thoughts through every quantum nook of the known universe
and parallel, to finally satisfy my undiscerning palate with the rich, heavy taste
of every decomposing delicacy that truth grows in

the gods are afraid
of what we might become if we could lay hold of their winged heels
or learn to outrun their surest arrows and fastest dogs
if we were to stop dangling mouth-first by their ******* threads
as if our very existence was the carrot

the ascendant, sun of morning reduced to earth
he looks up with such longing, where his trusty dog still sits and stays
not returning his gaze, but having every appearance of doing so
the black paper sky splashed with white ink, folded in half, and unfolded again
we stare on and on
and project all of our unconscious into something meaningless
and create our story

a freudian chuckle rumbles in every thunderclap, while we lie
on riverbeds like cold sofas, pondering our lives and our futures, while we feed
every kind of fish and scavenger--a mock eucharist which moves molecules
as above so below to the universal singularity
in the redundant shape of a figure eight

self-emaciation, a violent circumcision that cleanses like soap
discarding the fat which no machine needs for survival
like Howard Hughes i scrub until every bone is bare and bloodstained
empty, i step into the holy of holies afraid that i must die again
forgetting everything, i begin to slide
Written by Justin Aptaker ca. 2006
Ritz Writes Jun 2019
Light the fire, watch it burn.
Fire burns through my lungs, heart filled with tar.
See the spirit dancing in the smoke, echoing the silence of my thoughts,
While I inhale my pain quietly with each puff, let it ease my ache.
Between THOUGHTS and TONGUE,
Between  THRILLS and ECSTASY,
lies the stories unfold.
Smell of Cigar, fueled with sadness,
On the brink of fragile hope;
Until the next day dawns.
RitzWrites ♕
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." ~Albert Camus
Io Jun 2019
Nothing is nothing, this is the only single word that can describe this terrifying and wonderful myth of human intelligence. Nothing is a paradox, an impossibility for our minds to comprehend; an idea that, by existing ceases to exist.
Just some thoughts on nothing that I wrote down today.

Brown eyes
Ritz Writes Jun 2019
Humans.
Ohh! dealing with heartbreaks and pain
Still clinging to a false hope of chain.
Thundering shower and rain
Let the rain purge away
All the sadness and stains,
remnants of yesterday.
Humans.
Molded and fashioned from common clay.
Sweats and hunger
Toiling hard throughout the day.
Frustration and hunger,
Unpredictable days and danger.
Humans.
Embodies both strong and fragile
Success and failure
Come what may!
This is the world we dwelled in
A safe haven and torturous hell
The cycle of birth and death
The rhythm of our destiny.
"Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible. God and devil are fighting there, and the battlefield is the heart of man. " ~
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
CL Fjell May 2019
The Man ***** me of who I was
Before I even knew who I was

I never had the chance to become
Something no one else could be

I'll never fulfill the dreams I sought
For those dreams aren't even mine

My wants are the Mans' wants
The Man wants everything except me

But the Man ***** me of who I was
And now I'll never know who I could be
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