I didn't know a broken heart,
until the day I realized I could never make you as happy
as she once did.
And in that very moment,
every second where I made you look away,
crushed every second where I held your gaze.
My childish attempts to make you love me,
need me,
at least want me,
seemed to only push you further.
I wonder
how much it took for her?
How many times you wound yourself around her wrist
was it even a better kiss?
There goes my growing confidence,
along with the bracelets you've left on the floor
gifts gone amiss.
I don't know if I am enough.
Fear is all I feel through this love.

I don't miss you
I'd never put myself through that again
The hurt that you caused
The love you showed all those other men
I don't miss you
Just the familiarity of your skin
Our bodies clashing
The sweetest of sins
I don't miss you
Not even the touch of your hands
I miss the feeling behind it all
I want that again
I don't miss you
That light is much to dim
I miss the love I thought we shared
I want that with him.

I knew when your skin stopped smelling like oak trees that it was time for me to leave you. I knew when everything tasted like curry and *** that I needed to run, but I wasn’t ready for months.

So I spent months. I spent almost a full year convincing myself I was in love, wrapped in plaid blankets and handmade ugly red scarves and even uglier red scars and I was just running through the motions until I gained momentum.

At the time, I taught art, and I’d come home from work with big, rainbow spills on my skin. Green on my arms, blue on my knees, red on my chin, and you looked at me and said
"Don’t they have a sink where you work?"

I guess I knew then too.

We got drunk before my bus left and I knew then.

I kept giving you pieces of me to hold onto. I’d hand you my thumbnail’s song on a mandolin, I’d give you my long hair to braid, I’d give you my toes to **** on and you carried it all down with you. I’m sorry for that.

Those thick thighs
are a sight for sore eyes
But your best feature
has to be your brown eyes.

and this aint a lie,
When I say im in love with you.
We haven't talked much,
but baby im drawn to you.

I miss you so much,
from the second you leave,
I can't stand you go home
to that ****** bag steve.

When im the guy
you so rightfully deserve.
I don't mean to be cocky
but you said it first.

but i'll wait for the day
When you come back and say,
That you wanna be with me
until our final days.

Sadly, you never did,
I was just another kid,
Who you wanted to ****
and then called it quits.

Such a hippocrite
After running your lips
about how much ******* one over
makes you wanna flip.

But thats exactly what you did
and don't even try to deny it,
Because if you do I got ammo
to call you out on your ****.

So whatever,
you're just another girl.
Another human being passing me
in this ****** up world.

You've come and gone,
And I'm moving on.
Don't even try to chat me,
I'm way too strong.