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Parker Jun 2018
Tomorrow I turn eighteen.
I’ve been living my whole life hating the fact that I was born
And I could’ve sworn that I wasn’t gonna make it this far
I’ve done my fair share of harm
I’ve popped bars and I’ve let loose
I’ve downed my weight in ***** and juice
I feel as though I have tried it all,
I don’t have very far left to fall
I’m tired of the world making me feel so **** small
I think this might be my final call
Eighteen years have come and gone,
In a hell that went on for far too long
I don’t think this is where I belong,
And I don’t think I’ll be around to hear my birthday song
Kael Carlos Jun 2018
Simulan natin sa katapusan nang taon,
Naging dahilan nang araw-araw kong pagbangon,
Naalintana ang palagiang paglamon,
At uminit ang Pasko nang kahapon.

“Napakaganda nang buhok mo”, aking bati,
Para sa minimithi kong binibini,
Pagmamahal mo’y sa akin’y biglaang sumapi,
Noon ko ipinagdarasal na makita kita’ng parati.

Humingi nang payo kung kani-kanino,
Upang manatiling aktibo’t ‘di mablangko,
Bagama’t ang kinauukalan mo’y malayo,
‘Di nagtagal, nagkaroon na din nang “tayo”

Araw-araw magkausap simula noong ikalabing-walo nang Enero,
Nagpatuloy hanggang Pebrero pati Marso,
Kadalasang naiisip kapag nag-iisa sa kwarto,
Hanggang sa eskwela, daanan, lansangan, lungsod, barangay’t baryo.

Naputol man ang ating koneksyon,
Hinding-hindi ka mawawala sa ‘king imahinasyon,
Ipinagbawal man upang turuan nang leksyon,
Sa araw-araw ang pag-ibig mo’y aking binabaon.

Pinaghigpitan man’y iginagalang ko
Ang desisyon at pagmamahal nang mga magulang mo,
Sa ika-dieciocho ka pa daw pwedeng magka-novio,
Nag-atubili, sumagot ako nang “opo”.

Lahat daw nang inaantay at pinaghihirapan,
Ay mayroong napakalaking kahalagahan,
Kahit alinma’y sakit ay aking ginampanan,
Upang sumunod lamang sa natatanging kasunduan.

Kaya nandito ako ngayon,
Na may pagmamahal at may mga pagtitiis na naipon,
Nanabik sa pangako nang kahapon,
Sa pangakong uuwi ka sa iyong selebrasyon,

Ngayong ika-siyam nang Pebrero,
Nais kong malaman mo na pag-ibig ko sayo’y ‘di magbabago,
Nag-intay, nagtiis, nahirapan, ngunit ‘di napagod,
Dahil umaapaw ang pagmamahal mula labas hanggang ubod.
Ika-labingwalo
remington carter Mar 2018
lying facedown on the train tracks;
home is where the heart is.
i sharpen my alibi on my mother’s bones
blink blink blink
the rays of the sun gouge my eyes out and
i blink, feeding on her conscience
through roots in the dirt.
regret metastasizes inside of me
like the very consumption that killed her

i found a way out, what now?
the daylight picked out my ribs one by one
the moon died and i buried her in the flowerbeds.
brave molly, come save me, the train's at the station

maybe today
i can talk to myself
out loud on the way there.
primal scream therapy.

(in between bittersweet fragments of memory
i can say your name without—
gangrene makes a home within my brittle skull.
cyanotic lips preach to me the
everlasting weight of my sin)

today
i’ll talk to myself out loud
on the way there
and maybe the echo won't
sound so **** scared
it's taken me one grueling year to be able to write again. logging back into HP and seeing everyone's beautiful writing again has made me so happy. i really did miss you guys
helena alexis Sep 2017
i never thought i would make it this far
i told my mother
what do you mean? she asked
in life I replied

- I never thought I'd make it to eighteen
told my mom that I never thought I would make it to eighteen years old I thought I would have killed myself by now
Lunar Jul 2017
Eighteen―no,
Age is just a number.
Like the page number of a book, her story, her life;
It doesn't matter.
The ending doesn't matter.
The beginning doesn't either.

I read her in chapters, in scenes, in words:
she lives in each and every one.
She is not merely the main character,
she is the plot herself.
And I picture her in my head,
Through mundane moments, rocky cliffs, twisty plots;
She endures.

I don't want to reach or read the ending.
I want to keep reading,
keep browsing through the pages of her.
I want her
to keep writing.
To keep living.
To Koreen:
Thank you and I love you.
Eighteen is an end but also a beginning.
Your next chapter awaits!
Rat Sep 2016
There was a time,
When you didn't believe this sunrise would ever exist.

A time when youthful giggles shifted to pursed lips,
Red became far more sinister than sweet blushes.

You were certain, once,
That sky painted a million shades could never happen.

Once, when hands shook for far worse than excitement,
When darkness meant so much more than shadows.

You told me, then,
Surely your universe would be swallowed by it's own stars,

Then, before the wounds scarred over,
Before the meters between us became too high to count.

You swore to me,
That broken boys like you
Never got to become
Men.

Well, the sunrise is gorgeous,
Don't you think?

And the space between your hand and mine,
Might be too far for my fractured heart,

But I'm staring at those colors, the light of the sun,
And I'm seeing your eyes.

I'm so glad,
That you got to see this sunrise.

I promise it's real.
For you, Old Flame. Maybe I'll get to see my impossible sunrise, too.
The Duckling Sep 2016
Eighteen, a number rattled off a ticket,
Eighteen, the number of days I have left
Eighteen days to make a decision.
Eight plus one equals seven.
Seven, the year before my innocence was taken again.
Eight minus one equals six.
Six, the year of therapy for my traumaized mind.
Eighteen years in Eighteen days in Eighteen hours I have.
I have on a roster, I have in my head.
Oh dear one, will I be dead?
Fallen from the cradle the baby do fall.
She tumbled and cried and death was the end result.
I too am the baby never to grow up.
Eighteen days until my cradle will fall and I will cry.
When in life is this decision made?
Decision of the mind to place action to body?
Tumble bumble, falling little baby.
Eighteen days, the time I have left.
Eighteen years, a deadline I can't procrastinate.
Eighteen lifetimes,
Eighteen.
Happy Birthday to me in Eighteen days.
Pigeon Apr 2016
Today, I am eighteen
And I'm going to the park later but sitting in the dark right now is honestly the only thing I need
Eighteen
I can buy cigarettes and lighters - responsibility is everything and it's like all these chains are getting tighter
I'm eighteen
I can get ***** magazines
go into bars, but I can't drink
And if I break the law my adult record'll forever be unclean
Eighteen, im all grown up now- act professional, be completely unsusceptible to childish things like tears and tambourines
Eighteen-
and this feels just like a dream, like a surrealist painting come to life but nothing's changed at all
And I'm finding myself missing
Seventeen
Happy Birthday
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