The more she thought
You could save her
From drowning
The deeper she went
Underneath.

I feel like I'm drowning
no
not drowning
drowning comes with resistance.
I am sinking to the bottom of the ocean
my every thought is a stone in my pocket
my mind treads ever forward though it knows I will not float
it doesn't care
It is only after my head dips below the surface that I start to realize the severity of what I cannot undo
I open my mouth to ask for help
but instead, my regurgitated words bubble out of my lungs and float away
and I'm distracted by the beauty of the scene
isn't that so like a poet?
so engulfed in the romanticization of my death that I pick up the shovel
and I dig the grave myself
so distracted with the view
I can't force out the words I need
I won't betray those stones in my pocket,
Can't give them away
But then again, what have they ever done for me?

When she fell
she could feel
the light, its warmth
its happiness
and its stability
she blinked
and she was
plunged into darkness
a darkness that
drowned her
a darkness that
was a struggle
consuming her life

Depression at its finest,
from the darkness ever shineth.
Save me now O my God;
Jesus, my King, here I stand.
If this Your punishment be,
I willingly accept with glee.
If this be of the serpent wee,
O Lord deliver me!
God, I've sinned.
A seed has rooted deep within!
Your chastisement Lord,
of love it is; I'm in accord.
Perhaps not over but bring me through,
Up from the bottom of the cold, deep blue...

Drowning,
Sinking,
Pockets of air
Disappearing.
Sinking,
Further and further into
The deep cold sea.
Light darkens
Inhaling ocean salt,
Everything burns,
her insides are screaming,
Pleading to be let go,
Frantic antics,
Jerking,
Trying to stay,
Her gaze glosses over,
Tranquility is where she is.
The roaring ocean
Now silent.
Currents bringing her
Back to the briny air.
Her once olive face,
Now pale.
Frosted lips,
Lifeless eyes,
Limp features.
The pain is gone,
Overcome with peace
She gets to rest,
Floating along
The currents of the sea.