Sure..

Stand there...      wait
Don't stand there...    breathe.
No..        
Wait..
don't breathe...    just feel

Nah.   Yeah..
Ya-sure...  breathe&feel

Or wait...   no..
Just-remain-silent-and-say-nothing..


Ah,  there it is...    Yasss.    Good girl.

i saw us

4 cars and a lake house, making friends all over this town, nothing holding us back

3 dogs and a sunset, laughing until there’s no air left, netflix binges on our couch

2 matching starbs tumblers, getting mexican food when our stomachs rumble, stargazing pretty far our

1 walk down the aisle, listening to morgan all the while, smiles on the way out

but instead it’s time to let you go

but i hope you know i’ll always love you so

120 miles away; at the speed of love close to decay.
And the sinner in, asks if you’re giving up that cake today.
I’m stuck in a parade, matching bands matching your
movements in those shoes. Revelry of gossip in front of friends
—excusing ourselves on calling it important news.

We’re no good, no good for each other.
But if we meet in Heaven, I might remind you how I was
once your lover.

The very first to add worth in your first kiss. To rest my
head besides your cheek. And finding it rude to call
you my chick, or to call you my b…

Still hard for me to say even in the things that past.
You could hate me more for knowing things wouldn’t last.
Staring at the half empty glass—filling ourselves on cheap laughs.
Cheap thrills, expensive meals on an empty pocket of a kid.

I was weird, I had a piece of a beard to appear grown.
The king of your heart, knowing Lucifer fell for trying to sit
on that wasn’t his throne. The crown turned into thorns.
I’ve been torn by unsaid words.

The unsaid truth, is I still love you now. But I’m foolishly
in love with a love long gone. 120 miles, so far away.
A distance so long.

To the distances I could not go for you
I will say a thing or two
Maybe you will find in the vast field of canola
The same sun kissed reasons
For leaving behind the love of all seasons
To tremble in the wake of one

To the white noise we befriended
You hand-in-hand with silence
Wear the stars like midnight bloom
The sun avoids our encounters
And we become the founders
Of bordered misunderstandings

Blooming flowers, spring's demise,
Winter creeps inside your eyes
I would have left everything behind
If it weren't for this unsettled mind
But these vast fields of distances grow
Through the skies and soil above and below

And I, drowning in dreams of tomorrow,
Have lost the map I was meant to follow

Tell those distances I have yet to know
That I'm still learning how to let go

"Perhaps, we are the people who met each other at a time warp, that's why we are still existing in this millennium."

It's like my heartbeat has been cursed by twenty lifetimes; I would trade all my days, even if it turns from epoch to eon, I will always come back to you.

How do I stop liking you?
How do I stop talking to you?
How do I stop caring about you?
How do I stop longing for you?
Maybe, just maybe...
I'll learn how to dance on my own.
Maybe, just maybe...
I'll forget about your face and voice.
Maybe, just maybe...
I'll just remember those days when I was happy with you.
Maybe, just maybe...
I'll learn to let you go.

I’m moving through rooms,
Restless and roving
Searching for something
That I know I won’t find.
Not under the sofa,
Or under the rug.
Not in the vacuum,
Or tucked in the folds
Of my wife’s throw
In subdued forest green.
It remains unseen.

It’s not in her vanity
Or the basket wear our clothes
Would wind together like lovers;
Sweat-soaked and bitter-sweet.
It’s not in the cupboard with the dog’s treats
Maybe it fell from a kitchen drawer
To lie with the spiders
Hidden in the floor.
It’s not in our great wide bed
Where our sheets lay flat and wrinkle-free,
Future dust-sheets all.
Let’s face it, it’s not in the hall.

It’s not in the garden we planted
Or the shed we built.
It’s definitely not in the garage
Where she never went,
Not even for a minute,
Which I thought heaven-sent.
It’s not on the porch
Or the patio bench,
Where we spent many an evening
Trying to learn French.
It’s not in the car,
That’s my one you see.

Hers is not there...

The thing that I’ve lost
I won’t find today,
Tomorrow,
Next week or in June.
She may as well be on the moon.

the first night you came over
after a few drinks of warm seltzer
i ran into the bathroom, gripped the sink, stared at myself in the mirror and said, “he is going to love me like i deserve”
i casually walked back to the living room, picked up my can, and drank the warm seltzer
the taste of the best summer of my life

now, as i sit here writing, it’s been over a year, and he does in fact love me like i deserve
yet i am here, running into my bathroom, gripping the sink, staring at myself in the mirror, and wishing that there was another body in the frame next to mine
i casually walk back to the living room, pick up my phone, and open the countdown app for the fifth time today to look at the number of days until i can see you again
16 days
that’s better than 31 like last time

if you ask me what the taste of the summer is for this summer
i’d tell you “longing”
but really, i’d be wishing it was warm seltzer
warm on your breath as you pulled me closer into you and whispered something in my ear