#dissociation poems on Hello Poetry

Specs Oct 2018

Hold On

I decided to hold on
For one more day.
But even still, weeks later,
My thoughts won’t go away.

I don’t even know what I’m clinging onto amymore

Also, definitely wrote this while dissociating, so I have no recollection of writing this. Weird

#dysthymia #depression #sadness #suicidal #dissociation

Claire M Oct 2018

Alone

Uttering your blurry words
I cannot hear them drone
Instead the melodies of birds
Replace our conversation sown
And so we speak, alone.

Residing many miles apart
Lain in bed, you in your own
I lie with my wicked heart
Quiet, chilling to the bone
And so we lie, alone.

The world dissolves to static
A face made out of stone
Perhaps I am erratic
But you've become unknown
And so we are, alone.

Cast away all friend and foe
Make sure that they are shown
This beating heart belongs to woe
To it, you can't atone
And so I weep, alone.

Nothing can enroach this place
This kingdom and my throne
Everything shall be encased
In wryness I have grown
And so I am, alone.

#loneliness #sadness #depression #alone #isolation #distance #people #pain #relationships #dissociation

levi eden r Oct 2018

could you repeat that again?

i lifted my head and shifted my eyes to your face as you called my name when you sat down across from me.
i felt myself leave my body.
my vision became blurry and all i could see was your mouth moving.
i asked you if you could repeat that again.
"how are you doing?"
i answered with a long, extended "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum."
the words couldn't come to my mouth,
i couldn't form a two word sentence.
my eyes wandered the ceiling,
like i was looking for myself to come back.
then i answered and you began to talk.
i got closer to your face to read your lips but every word i ever knew left my memory and everything was white.

#poetry #dissociation #depersonalization

Valentine Matheson Oct 2018

Revival

Emotion hits, and it's clear you aren't dead.
You never were, you were simply buried alive.
You've been dug up now.
You can feel now,
And you kinda wish you couldn't.

#dissociation #recovery #emotions #buried #alive

Alfa Oct 2018

Dysphoric Dissociation

I carve myself out of a cardboard cutout,
I wish I wasn't empty,
stuck between two worlds that do not want me.

I am like the globe,
shattered.

Rushing blood gurgles through my veins to my head, my
words sound like Russian out my hot mouth
"so spicy"
they say it cause I'm foreign to them.
My blood pressure rises,
makes
the tea kettle screams,
on the perfect pictured home oven,
i am fuming.

I look out at the white picket fence,
raised oppressed gates,
overtaxed, overcharged, overfed, rising still.

The fury builds inside me,
I stomp the fence,
break the oven,
crash the globe,
and weep at the crap I was made out of.

we will never win.

but, it doesn't matter if we're the minority or majority,
the darker you are,
the faster you talk,
the farther away from the home land
...

they'll still give you the gun.

But, they'll blame you for everything that happens after.

A comment on American societies mental illness, health crisis, racial racism/stereotyping, gun laws, my own identity as a first generation american from immigrant parents, and how chaotic, hopeless, and dissociated I feel about my own self. How apart I feel from America's "dream" and what America really is today... thank you for reading.

#america #american #society #angry #dissociation #dysphoric #racism #political #generation #immigrant

Maya Oct 2018

a background character in my own life

i don't believe in anything fully
and i don't believe in nothing fully

how does one define themself?
no set ideals, no morals, no concrete idea of what the hell i'm doing.

making a decision is terrifying when you don't know which side you prefer.

sometimes i don't eat or sleep because i don't recognise the feelings as hunger or pain or tiredness. just white noise in the back of my mind.

i am a stranger to myself. these roads i travel are blurred and fractured.
giving myself an identity makes me feel like i have to be something.

and all i know how to be is nothing.

unimportant thoughts from the chorus, while the main character appears to have run off stage left and left the building.

#unimportant #background #play #anxiety #dissociation #depression #unreal #feelings #trauma

Valentine Matheson Oct 2018

Dissociated Delay

When you're in the moment, you feel so numb
And when you feel nothing, you think you're strong.
When you escape from that moment,you come undone,
And then you will find you've been suffering all along.

When you go through repetitive trauma, you may dissociate from it, and feel nothing. You may mistake this dissociation for strength /being tough, however it's just your brain protecting you from the trauma until you can safely process it. When you are safe, after a while you may find yourself reacting to the trauma then, and suddenly feel weak and not understand what is going on, as you previously believed yourself to be coping really well.

#dissociation #trauma

Sabrina Sep 2018

Untitled

Its not a feeling i can describe
Its everything and nothing
Too little and too much
At the same time
I'm everywhere and nowhere
Thinking that im not
Disconnected from a mind
Floating off
Just drifting

#dissociation