The world is my movie screen,
I’m constantly being reminded,
That I am only a spectator,
In this ****** up life.
My hands are not my hands,
Yet they’re right in front of me.
The thing is, I can never press pause.
I am always on the go.
It’s as if my mind is a separate deity,
Than my body.
I look in the mirror,
And see someone who I know
Is supposed to be me.
However, this fog that constantly
Fills my brain makes me feel as if I am
Walking on clouds, unaware of my steps.
I wish I could see the world in 1st person.
Instead of this bright, oversized world,
That pounds with every step I take.
I feel nothing which means I feel everything.
It’s just all in the inside, constantly building up,
Without notice.
It’s as if I am driving a rental car.
I know how to drive but the car is foreign to me.
The gears work, but they aren’t mine.

Piercing, sun through glass bubble.
I look beyond
Through fog and moss
Curling around my legs
Like vines,
Desperately.

Pull me back to earth of sand and dirt.

'What reality is this?', she giggled.

Before a second had passed,
she had ceased to exist.

the disconnect seemed to push me further and further to myself.
the word seemed dark again
and there was nothing for me to hold on onto,
nothing for me to keep me grounded.
everything and everyone felt so far away.
i could hold my friends hands and they could touch my shoulder but i still didn't feel here.

My body doesn’t feel like my own
It feels as foreign as the forest
Empty and quiet
Unsure of the way back home

My conscious feels distorted
Warped beyond my belief
Balancing on my frontal lobe
Threatening to fall

My limbs feel like tattered branches
Clinging desperately to the trunk
Only the bark is so thin and frail
That it can barely support even itself

I am not myself anymore

Where did I go that day, when I was shaking and crying.
Where did I go when I was sure I was dying?
Because so many times before when I was broken down,
I'd been aware of the sharp, heavy crown

Where did I go when I supposedly snapped,
Where did I go when I was nowhere but trapped?
I guess I thought that I was in control and
It still feels like my mind was hijacked, stolen.

Where did I go for that space of an hour?
Where did I go when I did nothing but cower?
It doesn't seem real that my brain showed up late,
And now I feel without control, which I hate.

So where did I go, please I need to hear,
'Cause ever since I left, I've been living in fear.