today i saw a woman who was tall
she walked with no apology at all

head and shoulders above the rest
her freakishness to test

her back was proud and straight
highly poised in her gait

she chose grace in her distinction
outstanding in unique  perfection

sailing tall with urbanity
in a sea of ordinary humanity

i liked that!

lantern raised
she yields not
to the untamed hand,
the empty heart,
the preening, the predatory,
that find the pure,
the passionate,
and the tempest that swirls about them,
to mark and groom,
their trust wrought for a singular end,
prevarications
to render truth writhing upon the
calumnies of acolytes,
the hardscrabble earth
where the courage and decency
of the many break and recede  
until wretchedly,
shamelessly,
forsaken

I bet you thought that you finally had me out now.
I don't mean to be a mystery.
Cuz even half the time I question myself and even who I've become.
I hope you're not trying to find some love in me.
Cuz all you'll see is a heart emptied.
Though I said its a waste of time.
You still try to find a new way to prove me wrong.

Because you think I have something to hide.
You really think Im holding myself back.
And yet you tried to project yourself on me.
I projected myself right back.
Yet somehow you haven't given me up.
Hate to admit, I like that fire in you.
But it's too late. I have already made up my mind.
And theres no going back now.

Now its set in stone.
And your on your own.
You tried to move yourself in my heart only to realize it is not your home.

Why you look so **** defeated now?
Had a plan and I guess it didn't work out?
Ain't no reason to feel defeated now.
You won't give up without a doubt.
And so you may be curious.
How exactly do i know this?
Well sorry but I've seen your kind before.
The ones always pursuing.
For the ones immune to wooing.
Sorry but I've read this book before.

And yet you think I have something to hide.
You really think Im holding myself back.
And yet you tried to project yourself on me.
I projected myself right back.
Yet somehow you haven't given me up.
Hate to admit, I like that fire in you.
But it's too late. I have already made up my mind.
And theres no going back now.

Now its set in stone.
And your on your own.
You tried to move yourself in my heart only to realize it is not your home.
Now its set in stone.
And we've crossed the line.
It hurts to see how hard you tried only to realize that you lost at the line.

Yet this hurts me, more than it hurts you.
But I'd be lying, if I said I love you.
I hate to see you lose, i hate to watch you lose
Yet this hurts me, more than it hurts you.
But I'd be lying, if I said I love you.
You keep trying so hard, to win my emptied heart.

Now its set in stone.
And your on your own.
You tried to move yourself in my heart only to realize it is not your home.
Now its set in stone.
And we've crossed the line.
It hurts to see how hard you tried only to realize that you lost at the line.

I remember this moment as if it were just years ago.
Felt this feeling before, guess my lifes been put on hold.
I sensed the fear in my heart.
Been too scared to rip apart.
The negativity attached to me. (Its all I know)
Its been exactly three 3 years since I've walked this path.
And now I realize there's no turning back...no turning back.
Just know that I realize
I know whats on the line.
I just gotta remember to remind myself

You just want to be dependable.
No you don't want to be dispensable.
You're much older now.
You're much wiser now.

There are certain things that I've come to understand.
The expectations I had for myself didn't go as planned.
I tried to mask all the pain.
Of my failure of a life.
Just to see that that ain't right.
But in moments like this, i ask myself.
Is this really the road you wanna go? Hell no.
But just know, that I realize now.
I know whats on the line.
I just gotta remember to remind myself.

You just want to be dependable.
No you don't want to be dispensable.
You're much older now.
You're much wiser now.
You don't want to be emotional.
No you don't want to be disposable.
You're so much older now.
You're so much wiser now.

Life is full of strife,
If you have lost something  in life,
Remember one thing,
What you have lost is nothing,
Compared to what you have gained,
It fills you with profound joys unexplained.
What you don't have is just a dream,
What you have is beyond your dreams,
Hold on to it,
Every little bit.
Your family,your relations and your dignity,
Your dignity is your pride in society,
Your family, your pearls,your precious treasure,
Your relations,your world, has no measure.