I make my way into the shroud,
To wrap my heart with air and bone,
Watching the skies for a different way
And every turn is made of stone.
I listen for the sound of a hushed leaf,
Falling in eddies that twist and jar
Only to dry and drift, teasing away,
For this is the time for old foundations,
In stepping line for sandy beaches parade
Of wind and vein, set to blaze, cold refrain,
With night accord and smoking whisper,
For love gleams in a painted bottle of dust
I cannot rub, the heart twines, shores,
In others I see floating but know not,
With creeping time, accord I am keeping
My dates so glazed, sharply knotched
In telling tales to hemlock and oak
By world of darkening clouds make,
Dreams indifferent as the sun,
Colours of joy I cannot hear.

I am a wall,
A thick, stone wall,
At least a man,
Surrounded by walls.

I built them myself,
I'm sure it would help,
At least a little,
Those amazing walls.

From the outside it looks grey,
Thick colourless stones of pain,
Of no interest, of desolation,
In total isolation.

But inside, oh wow,
I've painted it with amazing colours,
And those very walls who keep people away,
Comfort me in ways indescribable.

The walls are lined with rich tapestry,
The floors of lush carpets and pillows,
The from the ceilings hang lights,
To illuminate a hundred rooms.

And yet, no one...
No one to share the beauty,
The richness of my inner walls,
The walls I made.

I'm not sure I'm convinced
That this world makes
Any ******* sense.

Look, I've seen it, been
There before. Again
Here we go.

How could I ever convey?
Life is like a chance
of dream

With some spice
of no-go.

you built a city
inside my ribs
then left.

To live well and to die well is the same task.
Epicurus

the song of the old rusty swing
like a frozen pane
(somewhere in a passing memory)
not knowing if there can be
such thing as genuine trust,
you wait for transparent nights
amid angst,
the turmoil of words, rushing gestures,
tired patterns
suffocating all
clairvoyance
you wake up from the lethargy of dreams
to the cruelty of life devoid
of connection
a door got jammed

your parents and their distant lives
-their past is your future-
carrying their never ending childhood
like a message in a bottle
the contraction of days bears you the same
the taste of death is just a habit now
no safeguard
you whisper your dreams to the ragged baby doll -
“Bebe” is here for you
You’re the pain taster
forcing dangerous juxtapositions
or the silent screaming melodies
abundant in misattunement
while mother flashes her cracked smile
on empty days
it might have been better to swallow
her thoughts
while father has a croaked ambition
never to rest
translating his will of power

the promise of tomorrow
left you unscathed
slipping out of time
needs practice,
a neat forehead,
to bear in mind that
light holds on to uncertainty
every time you fall

last mile home is the hardest

I wanted to get drenched
as you were evaporating
I wanted to roll over moss,
as you gathered seeds of clouds
There, watching up
I was all this time waiting for you
to fall as rain
I was all this time waiting for you
To drench me in your raindrops
of love, shining like vinyl of rash
To fill my eyes - dry with desires,
of sparkles, twinkling with sun after rain

But you made me realize,
after seeing you today,

I was only a grain of sand,
gliding recklessly over mountains,
desperate to catch you
feel you
touch you
hold you
reach inside you
and then just falling down to the sea
with no moss, just salt, all salt
sinking down, gradually

We were never made for each other
May be.


Deeper and down,
In dark, there I find you
I am inside you.
you are all around me.


(A stone can't set the sail, but it can reach the depth)

And what if you are never mine to hold?
Only for these weary eyes to behold.
And what if you are never mine to know?
I could never teach my love not to grow.
And what if we are not what we speak?
Hope will know what dormant scents to seek.

I cried out in the darkness
in a hopeless sate of mind and body.

I asked You for help,
some power greater than me,
because my way brought me to
the doors of death.

I had yet to experience You,
but I had hope that others were experiencing
a life free from self-hate and fear.

I  grateful I am free more each day
from the prison of my self.

I embrace the Divine Light
and it is soft and warm.