He is everything to me
and he could not see
I have given my all
Yet he still wants more
Nothing's left of me
Feels like a sad record

slowly spinning

       to death
    
             while he hums my crestfallen melody

SILENCE

/ he has fallen asleep /

And I
entering
a
void
of
**melancholy

Caught in a starry-eyed gaze
Hearts close to surrender
Cecilio!
Hold my hand.
Longing for a downpour of soft caress
Gentle was me;
Brute was he.
O, cariño love me, Cecilio!

Stay still. I want to take a photograph.
Freeze memories as they come.
Once
Once is enough
Memories that will last.
You ******* away like a bud of darling May spring
You, without a word spoke loudly...
I could hear you scream the words you fear to let loose from your pursed lips.
And I will listen to every unspoken truth and quiet revelries

I shall bear in mind the dreams, fears, lies, and your uncertainties

And I will never forget them.
No, Cecilio, I will not.
I cannot.

But I shall also bear somewhere within me
The little glimmer of hope of how the things should be

We'll walk in the empty rooms and see them dense
As you feel your body writhe when you're close to me.

For now, I shall satiate myself with the surging rains that flow from the corner of my eyes...
every time I see you under the warmth of somebody else's lullabies

I shall see to it that you smile
Smile, Cecilio

Everybody knows this is not yet goodbye.

I am not a writer. I just write.
I am neither a poet.
I just want to drift and become a poem
And you will write me without complexity.

You see I am just a prose

              IRREGULAR
                       and
              ORDINARY

Still you see my beauty - loud and trenchant.
Your hands mapping out the verses of my skin
As I feel the warmth of the words I wanted to hear
From those lips I have kissed.

Your thoughts lithesome as they sashayed on ink and paper.

I can see how you etched my flesh like scars I wanted to bare in their own nakedness
For I have been a savage for too long that I want to be something you ignite with a touch

I do not write.
No, monsieur
I do not.
I cannot.

You see me and read my like a poetry when I am simply a prose
You looked through my soul
Loved me beyond all of my flaws.

It's you. Just you. Only you*

It's been you for the past couple of years.
Ever since the moment you said, "Hi!"
It's you even while I toss and turn or
I lie awake at 3 in the morning
Or even when I open my eyes at half-past 11

It's you when I eat, sleep,
and drink cheap bottles of *****.

You are everywhere I go.
You are always on my mind
That no matter how far apart we are - your existence is in contiguity of my being

So you have asked me a question.
Who do you love?

R H E T O R I C*

It's you. Just you. Only you.

Let me sleep under the burning moonbeam
I want you to be the last I see
Before I close my dead tired eyes
Let me close my EYES
Let me sleep
T O N I G H T
Put a bullet straight through my head
Toss me on top of the bed
In the land of Bedfordshire
I rest my tired bones
Bones that caressed you
Loved you
Cared for you

Are you still capable of the love you once shown?
Let me drink a cup of ***
Just ONE
One more ***
Let me smoke the weeds
The witness to your ***** deeds
Your mouth, full o lies
Explode
****
Dynamite

Your skin, stone cold
Cold and numb
**** this cruel world
How can one be ever that dumb?
To love you like this
And torture me to grits I cannot endure
AU REVOIR
That's all I could say
Darling, I wish I'd stay
But I want to go home now
So please let me sleep
Before you let me drown

I could only wish that
The sunshine of today will pave the atrocities
And the ravages of the sullen night before

The sluggish skies that water a rivulet of tears
Seemingly like eddies in a farce...
Filling the fountain of youth
Restless but satisfying

On clean crisp mornings,
You my dear spark off an impression
Of a glowing flicker that makes me forget the blunder

I do not watch the world burn anymore
I only have my eyes for you
And I can watch myself slowly burning
The vision, a dream, and a reality

...*and today my heart skipped a beat

You see, I am not human.
I am but a soul with a breath of life.
I am love. I am art. I am dust.
I am made one as the stars.
SAME particles and molecules as the universe.
It must matter that I am made up of M A T T E R
I am limitless. Infinite. Well, I feel infinite in some sort of way.
I transcend time and space to explore its singularity.
... where love was... I began

I am with a naked spirit - bare albeit naive.

I exist
     to feel, to see, to touch, to smell, to taste and to experience
     this tangible world.

'LIFE'

I am pain.
       I am madness.
            I am bohemian.
                 A nomad. A gypsy. A wanderer thirsty for the adventure.

I am not simply made by happenstance
This is the universe. This is fate. This is our destiny.

Let the cosmos guide you. Let it surround you. Let it flow in you.

For I am part of the GRAND  DESIGN

          *and so are you

A ray diffracted from the crystal flower,
into a thousand diamonds on my wall;
different angles creating a shady bower,
under my delusion tree,
here i rest peacefully.

Not in denial nor in sorrow,
in all measures of every feeling;
in life's liveliness in every moment,
like there's no tomorrow..
a gift to me from the galaxy.

A rainbow halo it bequeathed me ,
streaming through the empty space ;
erasing and recreating a strange place
in my delusion bower,
under my illusion tree

Like a dream
mystified with creator's creativity.
how glad i am to see
the cloudy sky or cloudless blue
the green grass blade caressing the morning dew;

How glad i am to see,
the mirage or the oasis;
it's not my mind's hallucination
the divine at play,
total internal reflection

Nature's cradle nurturing the seed
eventually the divinity
that unfolds,
blossoming into my crystal flower,
making space for the miracles it holds;

And the sun shines right through ,
its rays diffracting
and scattering
into a myriad hue,
merging into infinity...