you look like
the one who
left me behind,
but you smile
just a little wider
and my heart
already feels
a lot warmer.

My mind used to run
A day ahead
And sometimes
It would get lost in
Weeks ahead.

Now,
All I can think about
Is you and me
Feet buried in cool sand.
One towel to shield us
From the ocean breeze.
My head on your shoulder
Your head resting against mine.

And how beautiful it is—
The world in our now.

You're the oil in my engine.
The flow to my rhythm.
The foundation of my building,
The one that keeps me from falling.

You're the helium in my balloon,
The fire to my Zeppelin.
Without you, my shape can't be sustained.
You're the medicine to my pain.
In my heart, your love is forever ingrained.

You're the light to my darkness,
Brightening up my day with your every/very presence.
You are the spark, the inspiration.
With you in my life, there are no limitations.

You're the rain to my seeds,
The one that makes them grow.
Always coming in calm drizzles.
Never a storm, always the perfect dose.

You are the air that I breathe.
The oxygen, the one that keeps my fire blazing.
You are my everything.
If I have you, I have no need of anything.

I need you to be
more in or more out since I
can't do the 'middle'

8:13 PM
8/6/19

Let’s talk about here and now.
I know you’re no longer in control of your own soul.
What changed you?
Was it the hole in your heart that caused your body to burn like a California wildfire?

Open up to me, please.
Tell me about your wildest dreams.
When I show you the darker side of me
What is it exactly that you see?

Do you not like all of my questions?
Do they make you squirm in your seat?
Tell me, please.

Let me fill that hole for you
Put out that raging fire
Cause the longer you burn
The bigger your flames get
The more I start to melt away.

Falling in love is terrifying.
I do not fear
The heartbreak,
Or your love for me
And mine for you.
I am afraid
Of the epilogue:
The unknown which lurks
Behind the pages of our end.
I am afraid because
I’ve never been so in love
And I have yet to accept
This paradox:
The more we fear the end,
The more we love one another
But the more we love
The more scared we become.
My love,
Choosing to love you is the happiest
And bravest choice I will ever make.

I can be your man
and you can be my woman-
we can be as one.

6/6/19
9:42 PM

I want to listen to the rain,
and wash ***** dishes with you.
I want to admire the passing dogs
and maybe even get one of our own.
I want to push your grocery cart down the aisle
as we search for the contents of tonight's dinner-
laugh at you when you’re too short to reach the shelves
and be your hands to everything out of reach.
I want to exist with you and within you,
be the goosebumps that consume you
and the butterflies within your chest.
I want to look back on our photographs-
the ones that will become everything to us.
I don’t know where we’ll end up
but I do know we can make it.
You and me.
Always.

I still remember
the first time I heard that warm
voice of yours that night

11:00 PM
26/5/19

You planted the seeds
                                              Calling roots
To grow a garden
                                         To give life
Between
                                    Shadow to tree.
               Nothing grows
               Free without love
               For without love,
               Freedom is untrue
               Like love who lied
               Stole your freedom
               From you.