I miss having you around
Because you took away my frown
Even though you’re the cause of it
You crush my soul and bring me to life all in the same conversation
My love, did you know that my sea parts for you?
That I took down all of my walls so you wouldn’t be afraid to come in?
That I stepped down from my throne of anxiety?
That you were the very one that shattered my golden crown of insecurities
Only to then gift me this crystal crown of doubt
That matches my tears
I weep silently and so subtly that you don’t even notice
And even if you did
You wouldn’t care.
Don’t tell me that you love me, I see your garden of lies and the other women that have come to stay in it.
But I’m too afraid to tell you
So I fake a smile as my kingdom is in ruins

all my days spent
i'm at my wits end;
struggling to love
or to leave a friend

sprawled on the bed, laughing into the dark
with every beat, my heart lifts me off the sheets
the back of my skull is rotting from where you touched it
teeth still knocked out of place from where they melted with yours

All of my poems these days seem to be about you as if you actually care or something

If only we could start over
Not middle school start over
Just start over to that cold, dark school bus
Where I think you stole my affection first
And I told you how great you did
Even though you got last place
And you smiled and so did I
And it was all downhill from there
But in a good way
Because that smile you gave me was intoxicating
And you continued to give me that smile
In the halls, in the selfies you sent me, at my play, when you met my family, when you graduated..
I want to go back
And relive that bittersweet moment
That was so scary, and it went so fast
When you held my hands with that concerned look
After I gave you that note
In front of the comp teacher’s door
And that day you texted me
And told me we could only be friends
Because you were leaving..
But did you ever leave?
You’re just a friend
Just as I’m just a friend
We’re just two friends who happen to love each other