Growing up as a child and a young teen was not the best,
The memories up to this day traumatize me:
I always remember the bad ones and never the rest.
Now don't take this as a sob story I don't take well to pity,
Just give me a few minutes to dwell
On a childhood that was anything but well.

It was the 29th day of March,
A long and eerie night
A miscarriage was near in sight
The doctor told her:
Its very possible that you will lose your baby
After hours of pain and blood loss
Came a bundle of joy with "cat eyes" that brought light to all a young mother's flaws.
It was a miracle.
"Its a baby girl, woah look at those eyes they are almost bioluminescent in the dark"
Parents could never be so proud to bring such a beautiful creature to the world.
"I wish all the best, to this little girl"

Life was great
But I wasn't truly welcomed
Some people my existence upset.
But as a baby and toddler, it was great all I had to do was breastfeed, cry and ****.
Then time happened and life became complicated.
My mom cheated (or was continuously cheating) and there was no preset
My dad wished there was a reset
And me... I was treated like an asset;
For money.
For **** sake my young years have been duped.


Jonesy 2019 ©

Everything I will ever
Read will always be about you
Anything I see will always be
Similar to you
The boys after you will
Only pale in comparison

Before I met you  
Real feelings were a myth
Obviously, these could be faux
Whatever the case might be
Nobody will ever make me feel
       the way you do.

Don't get scared
When I say these things
Just like I'm not scared
When I feel these things.

How are you not with someone?
You're so beautiful and gentle
Funny and charismatic
Caring and unbelievably understanding
You’re like a singular sunflower in a field of roses
People always go for roses
Because they think red is the most
Love Filled color
A dozen roses does not compare to a single sunflower
Yellow means caution
This could hurt
But go for it
Yellow is how I feel about a sunflower

Do you feel it when you’re flying, or does that come naturally to you?
I swear I feel like I’m floating when we hold hands or kiss
How does it feel to be so precious and light?
That gravity can't hold you down to Earth
Such a genuine person
Funny
Smart
Really what's the catch

How does it feel when you walk into a room and time stops?
When you get in my car and my heart stops
A man who walks into a room and the walls collapse at the very sight of him

How has such an amazing person been hurt?
Who was in charge of that
Me?
I’ll never do it again

Have you ever met someone and just thought?
Is it you?
It must be because the walls have collapsed
“Hello,” I look up at you

It's a shame these are a “writer's diet”  
I have always dreamt of being a well-known author
Being on the New York's best seller
Even directing my own movie based on one of my books
To release a book of poems
That is just as effective as Rupi Kaur
I don’t smoke anything
But
I do drink black coffee
Like right now
Its 4:17 in the morning
And I’m up writing about you
Well us
To be completely honest
Most nights I can't sleep because the wheels of my brain are too preoccupied  
On coming up with ideas to do for you
Spending most nights up making you bookmarks with yarn as tassels
Writing poem that are completely inspired
By the way you curve your lip when you smile
Or the ways your eyes light up when you’re about to laugh

The small grin that appears when I make the dumbest jokes
The way you cover me when I’m being to scandalous  
Poems dedicated to the way
You make my heart compete in a race
And oftentimes win
The way you hug me so tightly when we were at your place in Alamogordo the morning before you left
The time you told me about the time you ran over that tall curb while leaving Walmart
Poems that are dedicated
To the fact that we get the same order at sonic
Or that we both thoroughly enjoy the perks of being a wallflower
Black coffee and cigarettes
Are for the greats
All I need
Is black coffee and you
And I can write a whole book of poems in a month.