Caught in our wild sweaty wickedness,
he hastily withdrew,
left me like meat:
dragged, debased,
exposed and butchered
on ***** ochre soil.
Old men’s lewd burning eyes
******* transgression
spiced with rectitude.
Young men sniff my adultery
and swell like figs
succulent with stricture.
Women boil the oil of resentment
and anoint my skin
with blistering imagination.

Ringed by scorn,
I kneel before a judge
who bends down and
draws in the dirt.

Guilt lusts for sacrifice, but
no one is worthy
to light the refining pyre,
except the one who draws
in the drab yellow dust.
Impotent and muttering
my accusers sulk into the sand.

His cool clear gaze
looks at my filthy bitterness
without grimace.
His living words
whittle my trespasses away
sculpting a cleansing change.

Why must they take my Lord from me?
Why, oh why, can they not see
What it is they have really done?
They have killed God's only son.
I know he came to suffer and die
But I hold him in my arms, and I cry:
"Abba, my father, why must this be true
For Jesus, he was my son too.
Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.
Father, my father, if only they knew"
Let these tears that fall be as sweet perfume
As I lay our son in a borrowed tomb
Father, my father, cleanse them from their sin
Father, I beg you, don't let Satan win.
In my heart I knew this day would come,
But part of me, to this fact, was numb.
I am pierced by sorrow so deep and wide
Your cousin and I alone stand at your side.
My heart is broken on the altar of love
As my tears mix with the rain from above.
In an instant, I would trade my life for his.
I would die so that he might live.
But may it be done according to Your Will
You were my God, and you are still
My faith remains steadfast even in this darkest night
I believe that we will once again see your Holy Light

Amen

Lord God, you are the author of life and creator of all good things. Everything is yours and yours alone. But I don't always (or often) act like it. I try to rely on myself to find success, to find my worth, to overcome challenges, to have control over my life as if I don't or can't trust you to provide what I need. I'm sorry. I have a hard time letting go. Letting go of hurt, pain, sadness, anger, jealousy, and I miss the times that were beautiful and filled with joy and love, laughter and peace. I'm sorry. Help me, Lord, to surrender my control to you. Help me learn to let go and give you all of me, keeping nothing back from you. Take the good and the bad Lord, and through your great grace, blanket me in your love and bless my heart and soul with a profound peace that comes only from you. I don't pray as often as I should and, many times, I talk too much and listen too little. Help me be patient Lord and give you a little time as you have given me this time that I have.

When I pray Lord, take me away to the secret place. Take me to where you are, take me into your most sacred heart. When life is just too much to bear, show me just how much you care. When life is simply too demanding, bless me with peace that surpasses all understanding. When the winds are fair and the seas are still, my soul as well is mirror tranquil. When the storm is swirling mad with rage, you will hold me and my fears you will assuage.

Thank you for this Peace.

Amen

Jesus Lord, you sing your song over me
In your holy loving arms, you enfold me
In your presence, you surround me
And when I was lost, you found me
You breathed into me your very spirit
Call my name and I come to life when I hear it
Jesus, I come alive when I see you
I come alive when I feel you are near
I come alive when I am doing your will
I come alive today and I cannot be still
I was dead in my sin and your grace brought me back
You saved me when I was living under a heart attack
Now, my heart beats for you with love alone
And the light within is finally made known
When I think of you, when I talk about you
My face lights up like a Christmas Tree
I become electrified; I begin to come alive
Jesus, bring me back to life out of the grave I'm in
I come back to you; please cleanse me from my sin
I come to life when I worship and adore
It's a feeling that's too hard to ignore
For, if I leave it, it boils and bubbles
And I soon find myself with many troubles
But if I obey and try to stay the course
I feel I am protected by a supernatural force
I come alive in the one who gave me life
I can have life eternal because he paid the price
I'm alive because He lives in me
I'm alive because He set me free
I'm alive because He loved me
I Come to Life
I'm ALIVE!

God Works when we are doing His Work
He opens doors and windows
When we are not so sure, He will provide
For He is good, and he Adores us
Let us worship and Adore Him Christ our King
He never seems to mind proving us wrong
Or testing our trust by making us wait
But His blessings are perfect, they are never late
Just today, for me, God pulled through
And made this writing possible for you
So, trust in the Lord and give Him praise
Sing to Him a new song for all of your days
Do the work of God with Joy in your heart
Be passionate about His work that you do
Be faithful and He will be more faithful
Be good and He will help you be your best
Be rich in His love and abundantly blessed
Be reconciled and begin to truly heal
Know what you're in for when you seal the deal
But God only opens doors: we have to take action
I am pulled in by some divine attraction
Like a Jesus Christ Moth to a Holy Flame
I am drawn to the light; even compelled
Some might believe I was even enspelled
But if there is nothing else to be gained
I ask that you take this one grain:
That God Work when we are doing His Work

Lord, help me love you enough to be comfortable sitting in silence
Lord, help me trust you enough to know when it is time to let go
Lord, help me listen enough so that I recognize the sound of your voice
Lord, help me be strong enough to fight against temptation
Lord, help me be brave enough to stand up for those who cannot
Lord, help me be open enough to receive you fully into my life
Lord, help me be wise enough to make good choices and speak carefully
Lord, help me find you enough to fulfill the longings of my heart
Lord, help me find joy enough to feel so fully and wonderfully alive
Lord, help me forgive enough by remembering how you forgave
Lord, help me fall enough to be more in love with you each day
Lord, help me be enough to do your will and make you smile
Lord, would you be enough to sit with me for a while?

Amen

I felt no shame I did not cry
When I shouted: "Let him be crucified!"
And you forgave me
It was I who turned away and denied
Who swore to all I did not know you
Only later did I realize all along you knew
And you forgave me
It was I who betrayed you with a kiss
After all this time it has to end like this
And still you forgave me
I could not watch so I ran away and hid
I was a coward a scared little kid
And you forgave me
It was I who slept when you needed me most
It was I who foolishly abandoned my post
And you forgave me
It was I who mocked you and I who jeered
I who rent your clothes and plucked your beard
And you forgave me
It was I who condemned you out loud
To appease the maddened mobbing crowd
And you forgave me
It was I on your left that told you to prove
If you are the Christ, then stop this and move
And you look at me with love
It was I on your right who asked "Remember Me"
And in spite of everything, all of my history
In that moment I was free

It was I who shared the burden on the road
Helping you to shoulder that heavy load
It was I who stayed close to the very end
Why you would suffer though I could not comprehend
It was I who tenderly wiped your face
A small act of love, and mercy and grace
It was I who anointed and dried your feet with my hair
Sparing no cost to show you how much I care
It was I whom you saved from a life of sin
You would die to make new life begin
It was I whom you called from the sleep of death
And I watch as you now give your last breath
I who gave you life now mourn and weep
My heart is pierced with sorrow so deep

It is you who took our sin and shame
It is you who took on all the blame
It is you who died so I might live
It is you who said to me: "I Forgive"
It is you who looked with loving eyes
It is you who saw past all disguise
It is you who make me reconciled
It is you who call me beloved child
It is you the pure spotless sacrificial lamb
It is you my Lord my Savior, the Great I Am

Who am I, that I should stand
That I should speak as though I understand
That I should sing when words fail
That I should live to tell the tale
Who am I, that I should write
Of one beyond our mind and sight
Who am I, that He might save
When I should be the one in that grave
Who am I, that I should look on love
And feel him smiling from up above
Who am I, that I should gaze upon Him
Against whose radiance the sun is dim
In Him I find my identity, who I really am
A child of the king and a precious lamb

He calls us children and loves us the same
He knows us and calls us each by name
Who is He, that He should send His son to die
That He was earthly virtue personified
That He would serve and love and teach
That across the miles and years He would reach
That He would come again one day
Who sent His Spirit to us to stay
Who is He that considers me worthy
Who is He of endless grace and mercy
He is my everything: my beginning and my end
He is my strength and shield in whom I depend
He is mine and I am His
I am a child of Jesus!

Life is like a great big balancing act
When we can't find our center, things are out of whack
Too many irons in the fire and too much on our plate
Its chaos truly, but if anyone asks, things are great!
Life is playing a tug-of-war, and I seem to be the rope
To finally step off this wild ride there seems but little hope
My priorities are a mess, and my life is out of order
And I can't call for help, 'cause I just put in my last quarter
The world is spinning sideways, my life is upside down
I don't know which way is up; my head keeps spinning round
I know I've lost the rhythm, help me find the perfect beat
And when I find that groove again, I'll put it on repeat
If I looked the world over there is one thing I would miss
That would put color in a life that is currently so colorless
Something not of this world; some celestial force
To some, it is quite alien, but it's Jesus Christ of course!
With Jesus at my center I feel, at last, made whole
And now I can truly say that this is the story of a soul
That once was lost and in chains
But has been found and set free
Through the suffering and the pains
My Lord and Savior died for me
As all things come from Him, He is the center of all things
And so, from Him, to all my life, joy and peace He brings
He is there when life's demands I'm juggling
He is there when it's clear I'm struggling
But when I focus and don't look to do too much
Then, I find sometimes I can have the perfect touch
So, Jesus be my center; my rock, my cornerstone
You are the best balancing beam I have ever known!