It’s been awhile
Dead light
And
I

Have you been watching
Little me?—
In all my corruption;
Has your sentient ablution—
So tried—
Decided to set me aside
In my hiding?

I grovel here;
Blind.
While You glisten—
You listen—and weave
Serene discomfort
Into a little-soul
Like mine.    

Supine and slight—
I trace Your patterns in the
Night and try to name them
As others have
Before me:
Dipper. Orion. Northern-light:
Compass bright.

Are they suppose to
Mean Something?
I cling to their instruction
And move nowhere.  
Your pictures do not wear the weight
That answers
Do.

Can I sough purpose
In their Recitation?
—For I have wanted for comfort.
I repeat the names—
Cardinal ghosts in dotted-frame—
But their direction
Alludes me.

Oh, You Pin-******—
You Old-Flames—
You Astute Celestial Hosts.  
Have You hung silent
—In all Your knowing
Just waiting
For me to let go?

Do You know the cold of war waged
Alone?——
Blueprints of rage have rewrote the
Geography of my limbs:
I am not my arms my legs I am not
My breaking
Heart.

My hands aren’t mine, anymore.
I have never been so
Stolen.

Hey, Heaven’s map of decussation:
Do You see me down here
at all?
Praying for Your mum
Eureka call——
To pull me past
My boxing halls?

You are all l have left—
to follow.
Tired of feeling lost.
Tired of letting go.

But it could be awhile
      Dead light.
Hopelessness is a heavy might:
But I thought—just maybe,  
you might—
Wait
For me.

I face you
In the night.
—Until I get there.
Me: the tiny nightmare.
At the edge of sleep’s reprieve
Before I face the mourning,
Bare.

This is not for love nor is it for grief
To have one is to carry the other alone
Each shown difference through incredulous perspective
The pieces of truth show no appearance
They merely evoke feeling so raw
One of exposure and vulnerability
Caught in a spiraling emotion that gives no name to itself
A pit that feels free without restraint
A place where all options prove to be correct
One that shows no extent to a human life to live

I am an empty shell
but,
I am full of happiness
I protect my loved ones.
That makes me happy.
That's all I feel but it will soon disappear.
Don't cry carry on for me.

I always thought the wings of a plane
were the most important part,
but they only carried me
when I was flying around.

It was then that that I realized,
She was the wheels
Who carried me
whenever I hit the ground.

I don't walk alone,
God walks with me,
One day I asked him,
"Lord you walk with me,
In my good times and bad times,
I only see two pairs of footprints in my good times,
In my very bad,troubled  days you are not there."
"Child, the footprints you see in your troubled days are mine.
During your bad phase I carried you."

I don't walk alone,
God walks with me,
One day I asked him,
"Lord you walk with me,
In my good times and bad times,
I only see two pairs of footprints in my good times,
In my very bad,troubled  days you are not there."
"Child, the footprints you see in your troubled days are mine.
During your bad phase I carried you."