To wander beyond the clouds is a product of human intelligence.
Physically bound to the sources of earth.
Through the thick stardust, resisting the enticing black holes, the mind can leave and return as it pleases.
We are victims of captivity,  at the hands of gravity, and the knowing there of.

You’ve left me there,
In the dark-
With all of the demons of my past.
They’ve held me captive in those shadows,
And they continued to-
While you waltzed into the light.

                           Alysia Marie 2018 ©

it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind

I want to leave, to run away. I want the sun on a brand new day.
See this life I live, its not me at all, almost like its not Autumn  but instead its Fall. Falling down to the dark abyss, not like Alice more like constant darkness. I love him, with all of my heart, but I'm not in love, I cannot be, because how can I love him that way but not me? I have this problem, with finding myself. Who am I, but another story on a shelf?
I search for me, relentlessly but to no avail, its a dead end trail. I dont know where to start, or where to go, but deep down inside I just know.
Its not fair to him or me, this life we've built is misery, and I tell him this and he rolls his eyes, but I'm certain he knows this too deep down inside.
Even still its not fair to us, for us to stay, I'd be better off far away, but how can I leave him if he thinks he's happy, how do I go while still leaving him me?

He unbolted the locks
and untied my restraints,
which left painful bruises
and permanent marks.
  I could barely gather up
the strength to stand up
and make it to the door.
Then when I tried my
legs gave out and I fell
right on to the floor.
  As weak as a lamb
that can't hold the
weight of it's own wool.
He told me the shackles
I've worn were years ago
outgrown.
  There is a new pair
somewhere that I must fit into.
I listened because being in
a cage was all I ever knew.

The panicked heart
Is pushing the shoulder,
  pushing the elbow,
     pushing that hinged down wrist,

In hopes that one swift motion
Will untangle the word ribbon
In neat short lines on yellowed paper

Those wings that scratch and claw inside the little cage
Bleeding the walls
Will break free to fly and feed.

But Monday mornings I take great care
The wrist is nailed tightly on the cross
All the pistons are jammed in just the right way
Come Friday night the ribbon won’t untangle
And the bird will give up, sometime.