i. a summer day, sticky hot, i can feel the sweat running down my back. the sun shines without mercy. an ice cream cone sits in my hand as i wonder who will come to end my bitter loneliness.

ii. the boy reeks of summer, his smile radiating from his mouth just as the sun radiates heat. he doesn’t eat ice cream, he says, something about being lactose intolerant? i can’t focus on anything but his sparkling hazel eyes.

iii.  it’s still warm but not uncomfortably so. we’re seated on the green grass. it’s evening and the sun has begin to sink beneath the horizon. purple and rose hues take over the blue of the sky as we watch in awe. i don’t know what happens but suddenly our eyes are off the sky and on each other. his lips taste like a cherry popsicle.

iv. we have late nights every day watching the stars. each star makes me wonder, in a world as fantastically cosmic as ours, how did i have the fortune to meet you? i wonder if you are thinking the same thing. every day the same thing happens and every day i don’t know what led to it but now our eyes and sticky hands and sweet lips are on each other and now it is the stars’ turn to watch us.

v. he loves ice cream but it isn’t good for him.

vi. every time i eat a cherry popsicle i think of the boy with the hazel eyes.

I am the boy who sits at the back of the class; I am the myth and legend, that you have never heard laugh.

I am the eloquent, who so seldom speaks "Good day." and "Goodbye."
I am the b r o k e n, though you will never see me; p a r t i a l or cry.

I am the Lie.

I am the Lie, well housed in the illusion of an ever-present smile.

I am the wary traveller, exhausted yet still encouraging others to walk the extra mile.

I am the dying and ill, who screams to others. "Keep surviving and living, hold fast to your will; life once truly lived, has both bad and good."

I am a human... for better or worse. I am a duality to all others; either a blessing or a curse.

I am a song sang, though others remember only a verse... I am a play, that has been exhaustively rehearsed.

There is something about you that attracts me,

The way you roll with life, how you just let the moments pass

Your  u n r u f f  l e d  soul
Calms my incorrigibly fractious mind.

It’s appealing to me how handsome you are
And you are oblivious to such an entity


And how

You effortlessly allure me with your personality.

There is something about you that makes me

Want to open up my heart,


again.

I used to think about you
almost every day,
there wasn't one thing that
didn't remind me of you,
but now there's nothing that
longs to the though of us,
of your name.

It's not that I've forgotten you, but I no longer
hang by you, or your memories with me;
maybe because I've found someone
to replace you;
to forget there
was ever a thought
of you.

Angst

He loves his boy drunk,
and in the dark.
The scent of fresh spirits clinging to his tongue as he whispers his insecurities into the shadowed night.
His hands wrapped around the fragile boys arms, even though they shouldn't,

because this boy, his boy, is too bright, too precious to loosen the grip he has.
While he is made up of stolen cigarette smoke and bruised knuckled smiles, the love he has conjured up is beyond magic.

He lusts his boy sober
and dawn breaks through the curtained room.

Coffee engulfs the narrowed hallways and the creaking wooden board is the only sound heard besides soft snores.
He looks away from the paled soul, loosens his touch
and each time he gets up and leaves, he breaks both their hearts.
don't you know you can love him with the lights on too?

I feel he has created this kind of comfort that I’ve always lacked
A sense of security without feeling pressured to stay
A welcoming rather
An invitation to touch his soul

He creates this sense of history that is just developing but feels centuries old
He holds me with a strength that goes deeper than the definition in his biceps
He smiles with his whole heart that his dimples climb to reach his eyes
Which burn with an intensity of crashing waves in the ocean
He makes me feel warm.
And he's extended the offer of adoration that I willingly accept and give in return.