Yesterday I noticed a few blonde hairs mixed in my chestnut brown hair

They blend in until I looked closer
Little strands barely there

They reminded me of when when I was a child

Sunny hair and a freckled face
Bright blue eyes and an always smile
Big front teeth and rosy pink lips

I forget what it felt like to have blonde hair
I forgot what it was to feel free

I know my childhood was not all smiles
Mostly rainy days and hiding away

But I cherish the moments when the sun came out
And I laid in the dewy grass talking to the trees

I remember now how I loved my blonde hair
That glowed under the shining stars

I remember now how I smiled when I looked in the mirror
Loving my reflection, my whole self

Now as I stare at those few blonde hairs
I remember how beautiful I can be
I remember the child that still lives within me

I hope she never leaves

a myriad of moths drawn to her hair
glowing as if godly somethings, it should bear.

Its bad luck to talk while you're driving
But I don't want us to be fighting
Please stay familiar for the last time
So what kind of car are you riding
I said wait, what are you hiding
What do you mean for the last time

White Ferrari
I finally replied
A moment of silence
And then she sighed
I used to be in pain
But now I don't feel it
I used to be afraid
But now I don't fear it

I asked her what she was scared of
She said it used to be love
But now I don't care
Cause I'm not scared
Or maybe not unafraid
Maybe I'm just not there

The empty lot I'd pulled into
I gazed at it behind the window
Of my White Ferrari, and held the phone
The sun went down as shadows relegated
The sky turned blurry and pixelated
And pretty soon, I'd have to go home

White Ferrari
Make the world end
I don't want to hear this
Then she said, please pretend

That in this life, in this life
We can watch the summer together
As it draws to a close, draws to a close
And while the leaves fall down and we get cynical
We hold hands and you pull me close

You dominate my dreams
Always
I'll see you as I wander in dark corners
And hallways

Things are so hard in this life
Things are so dark in this life
We're born alone
But we don't have to end that way
Please don't hang up the phone
Before I go away

Your White Ferrari
I wish I could see it
Or even go to sleep
Cause then I could dream it
It's so easy to leave you breathless
It's not hard to make it look effortless
I had an epiphany about life
But I'm not quite sure what it was
Oh well, nevermind
I'll figure it out eventually
Eventually

She said, are we taller in other dimensions
I said, no we're small and not quite worth the mention
She said I'm sorry for turning so abstract
I said, please tell me where are you at
She said, you know I can't tell you that
She said, everything is starting to turn black
She said don't hang up but try to stay quiet
We're never closer than when we're in silence
Let's try to imagine what silence looks like
I hung up the phone and was left with the night.

I was tired and seated next to the window.
Things passed away. Images of Albion.
Ironically I was approaching the Hawthorns
As I sat next to this window, half asleep.

In my right ear a melody played about
Some form of unrequited love.
I was hurting. She’d left recently.
And just like that I was in the jewellery quarter.

Things move so very quickly
Things come and go and never stay
Things are born and die and all we can do
Is watch and watch and watch and watch.

I was tired and sat next to the window
Feeling lost, half asleep and lonely.
In front of me, a woman read a self help book
And I wanted to scream to her

ITS NOT REAL, ITS NOT REAL.
THE ONLY THING THAT THING
HAS OR WILL GIVE YOU IS
A DEBT OF SEVEN NINTY NINE.

As I thought this,
I glimpsed someone pass through the aisle
A blonde in a beret, and she looked
Terribly sad. Like something had happened.

Suddenly, I was in the hawthorns
And she’d left the carriage.
I’ll never see her again.

Swimming through my blood again
The same soulless feeling
A boy found at ten

Empty silhouettes haunt my bed
Strands of blonde
Like a noose tied around my neck

Choking me slow
But what is pain to a portrait
Caught in the fire of a burning home

there's red all
over your face.
the smell of
tomatoes in the
air.
you do not
eat with grace.
But that's the
life of a child
with Blonde hair.

She was a lovely looking thing,
A beautiful young blonde girl/woman
She hadn't been with us long... at
   work
She was smart and sassy, even a little
   scary
Held strong opinions on some things,
She lived close to where I lived, only
   a few miles away
So I was sitting amongst them one
   day, the girls/the ladies
They were a little bored that day and
   for some sport
Were trying to draw me out, to get me    
   to open up a little
To reveal some more about my ways
   and my life
So I thought I'd have some fun with
   them
I told them I did some painting as a
   hobby
And that my speciality was 'the
   female ****'
But alas! I had a problem, I had no
   one to sit for me
"If only I had some beautiful nymph, some haughty Queen, some dazzling princess", I lamented
And then I'd gaze over at Her, give her
   a longing look,
Then of course, someone upped and
   said the obvious
" Jen....don't you live close to where he lives, would you not go sit for him "
My face it lit up and I smiled
"No! I would not!!! she said
   emphatically, disgusted
Now I knew from the Christmas party
   she liked to drink Gin
So I said enticingly "I'll throw in a
   few bottles of Gin"
"I'd never pose **** for anyone", she replied again emphatically, "it'd be embarrassing, it'd be degrading! Sitting naked before some man!",
" But ", I replied, " you wouldn't be embarrassed sitting for me
'Cos when I paint a **** I insist on
   being in the **** myself as well
So as to make my Sitter feel more at
   home, more at ease
Yeah, Me! I'm very... Avant Garde"
(said with a devilish twinkle in my eye)
Still she resisted my painterly
   charms
So as to further entice her I said
"I'll even cook you breakfast, no one can resist my lovely sizzling sausages".
I felt as though I'd dangled my carrot
   right in her face
But still she wouldn't take the bait.
I suppose I was lucky she hadn't for if
   she had of (agreed)
I would have had to have learnt how
   to paint Nudes real fast
And how to cook sausages and other
   breakfast repast.

soft blonde hair
plush kisses on my cheek
fingers tracing circles
at the edge of the creek
confessions
and blushing cheeks
wiping tears
fixing the leaks
lips on skin
gentle heat
a warm summer day
with a love so sweet