I might be getting over you,
I’m not exactly sure.
The ache feels lighter, less true,
But still, I had fun loving you.

I’ll miss the butterflies you’d bring,
The rush each time you came into view.
Even in the hurt and stinging,
I had fun loving you.

Your eyes, like a secret I couldn’t share,
Held a warmth I thought I knew.
Even though it led nowhere,
I had fun loving you.

Maybe someday I’ll meet someone new,
Someone better for me, someone true.
But even when my heart feels brand-new,
I’ll still miss you—I had fun loving you.

Being just friends is fine with me,
It’s better than losing you.
No romance, just familiarity,
And still, I had fun loving you.

We were young, unsteady, and lost,
Two hearts too naive to follow through.
Still, even at the cost,
I had fun loving you.

Now it’s time to let you go,
To leave behind what never grew.
But I’ll always quietly know,
I had fun loving you.

I see us 6 months ago.
The smiles the banter too and fro.
The way you smiled oh how it glowed,
The way i saw your feelings grow.
But now it is others whom from love flows,
And they look like us ... 6 months ago

When I wake cold
With frostbitten lips and shaky hands
Crooked fingers
Petal-pink knuckles
The shadows speak to me softly

They talk of the moon and the lights that outshine her
Every twinkling star that dances across the hills
Each speck of gold and white filled with laughter
The red and blue that swim among them
Adorned in raindrops and scarlet flowers

They talk of the view from the tallest edifice
The way the ocean waves lap against the shoreline
The people that drift by
Gleeful and dejected

The warm yellow hue of the sky before dawn
Every beast that nestles in the earth
Each glow that dims before bed

They grasp at my skin
Wrapping around my silhouette
“Please,” they murmur
“Don’t forget to turn the lights out”

Neon moments in life,
Flickering like amber shades.
Like dancing shadows on beige walls.
Transient memories of life,
Slipping like sand from fingers.
When you exit the movie hall after watching an exhilarating movie,
Feeling that your life has changed.
Your last day of school.
You were crying,
screaming and throwing up.
Or watching the stars glow from an urban rooftop,
the cars and people below moving like ants,
Citylights that  outshine the skies.
Walking home alone late at night through the suburbs, rethinking your life choices.
The first time your mother held your hand and cried.
The first time you smoked with your friends
secretly in the woods, feeling guilty later on.
Getting ready for the  farewell party of your  high school,
Your sister was doing your makeup.
The first time they painted your lips
With beautiful brush strokes, you were covered in sin.
I know while reading these words,
you all feel breathless.
As if the images are moving too fast
On a projector screen.
But that's life.
Nostalgia that lingers on,
It's fingers choking with a sweet melody.

I’ll always remember the warm breaths of sunlight,
Dripping like honey over
Your mother’s dying plants in glass bottles on the windowsill
Of the kitchen where you wrapped your arms around my waist
My hand holding a silicone spatula, navigating
An egg on a pan. Sizzling, each hiss a whisper into
The room, telling us to hold on tighter to this moment.

I really don’t like eggs, I reasoned with you

You tell me these are perfect, that you
Make them just right. i wonder if you remember
Teaching me to cook them just over medium
The whites are cooked and the centre’s still soft
How do you flip an egg quick enough that it
Won't slip, but slow enough that the yolk won’t break.

How do you end a soul tie quick enough that
One of us won’t die, but slow enough that it won’t haunt me

It haunts me.

And i still make my eggs the same way,
no sunlight
Freckling our skin because i stand here alone
I still feel the phantoms of your hands on me, the scraping
Screeching noise of a metal spatula
The ghost of your cologne on my collar.
But I get it just right too. I can do it without you, and it’s better
I tell myself
But i know it’s not the same.

I wonder one day
When i meet someone who gets me just right
Who is better for me than you were
Will I make his eggs over medium? Or will my eyes dart
And fingers twitch
Searching for the best way to
Run away quick enough that
I won’t watch him cry, but slow enough that
He won’t haunt me

The same way you do.

We started with a blank, cracked wall
Hands shaking, we began to thaw
With every stroke, a world took form,
A story began, vibrant and warm.

I filled in the cracks, with thin veins of gold
Figured it'd last, and covered ugly with bold.
Excited to start, I sank into thought,
But you quietly noticed I had missed some spots.

The first layer was bright, unrestrained,
Colors of joy we couldn’t contain
We painted sunsets, golden and vast
Believing that forever would last.

You taught me to blend the shades of the sky,
I showed you the beauty in the colors of night.
Together, we built a world so grand,
Each stroke a testament to what we’d planned.

But soon, the brushes began to fray
People stared, and called us by names
We argued over colors, shapes, and space,
Yet somehow kept painting, pace by pace.

The mural grew heavy with pain and mistakes
We painted thunderstorms, chaos, and rain.
Still, tears watered flowers into bloom,
A stubborn hope shining through the gloom.

The onlookers left, but the rain eroded
Behind the clouds, faded veins of gold corroded
The thunder faded, and I blindly rejoiced
Unknowingly, I had cemented your choice

One day I looked up, to find in dismay
Your brushes abandoned, your colors turned gray.
I stood by the wall, lost and unsure,
Facing a masterpiece that felt like a blur.

With trembling hands, I picked up the brush,
In the deafening silence, my own sobs turned to hush.
I painted alone, though your colors remained,
Ghostly imprints of joy and pain.

A lighthouse painted, its beacon dim,
Two figures either side, watching it spin.
Fields of poppies, you had once made vibrant and lush,
Accidentally smeared under my hesitant brush.

My paint dryed up, eyes beckoned by sleep
A lifetime sprawled in colors and feats.
I stand before it, heart in my throat,
People walk by, unaware of what's wrote.

There’s the golden sun, where we began,
And the rain-soaked earth where our troubles ran.
The images we painted together sing,
While my final strokes frame them clumsily.

And yet, I marvel at what we’ve made,
The laughter, the love, the dreams that stayed.
It’s cracked, raw, and painfully true,
A testament to both me and you.

I step back now, my brushes laid down,
The mural is finished—its truths resound.
Alone, I face this mural we’ve drawn,
And wonder what it means to move on.

Her lips tastes like cigarette
Too toxic yet so addictive