She moved towards me like silk moves in a breeze. Her glow was soft, yet strikingly strong. Eyes brown and big like an oak tree in summer with rays of golden sun stung throughout. She moved as if an angel slowly awakening inside her. Her long brunette hair shimmered as it gracefully fell along her shoulders resting upon her *******. I would call her body smooth like softly blown waves in the sea, but no justice would it give to her. Her smile could make any woman stop in her tracks, just to appreciate the glorious happiness it brings. Her laugh brings joy like the peace nature brings in solitude. A total eclipse of winters cold, only allowing warm spring and summer. Hips a sailboat rocked by a beat only she could know. Sweet kisses with lips that taste like the most perfectly ripe fruit. Her hands touch as water does; politely gracing your skin and leaving you with droplets slowly fading. Her glance love-filled as a lover of many years might look at you. She is beauty from the inside out; she is graceful with every step; she is everything I want, and so much more.

When I was fourteen you caught my attention. We were on our way home from school, summer vacation on the horizon. You turned to me, your thighs sticking to the fake leather seats of the bus, and smiled. It was in that moment that I knew you would change my life.

That night we ate ice cream as the sun set and played dance dance revolution in your basement. I was all red cheeks and stutters, you were freckled cheeks and laughter. I swear I could’ve fallen in love with you right then.

It wasn’t long before we were inseparable. Days were spent in your room, safe from the world hidden behind closed blinds and air conditioning. Nights were spent at my house, laying on my trampoline staring at the stars, just close enough to touch but never brave enough to.

On July 1st we watched the fireworks at the park we both grew up at, I watched your face as the colours lit up the sky and in that moment I decided you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on. That night you tackled me to the ground, your face just inches above mine and I swore you were going to kiss me, but you never did. If I kissed you first maybe you wouldn’t be gone now.

When I was sixteen I told you I was in love with you, and you apologized because you didn’t love me back. I’ll never forget the feeling of my lungs deflating, it was like you took my feet out from under me and suddenly I was free falling.

After that night we stopped hanging out as much. You stopped asking me to stay the night, I pretended to stop thinking about kissing you, which eventually turned into actually not thinking about kissing you. But old habits die hard and sometimes I wish I would’ve taken the chance when I had it.

On long summer days beside your pool. On cold nights when we huddled together for warmth, your legs tangled in mine. If I had kissed you would you have kissed me back? If I never mistook your kindness for love would you still be mine to adore?

It wasn't supposed to be like this
I wasn't supposed to get attached
I was gonna close myself off
But my defenses got brutally attacked

One by one they poured in
An angel who was different
Shined through the lot of them
But I already knew how it was gonna end

Then came the desire
To want someone else
Someone thought to be impure
I had to juggle my many selves

I was too afraid to admit it
Haven't even said it out loud
It tries to break through
Every time I open my mouth

I need to let it out
But the angel holds me back
lives up to the name I awarded
I always knew it was a trap

A trap for me
To bury myself in
And now I can't get out
For the angel sends in

All the love
And hugs and kisses
And I too have to shove
Out all the things I listed

The devil can't help me
I'm in this situation
If I get out of this alive
I'll have a celebration
Full of awkward conversations
But it will be my own creation

An award on the shelf
That I held out for so long
In a version of myself
That felt so wrong.

It’s all my fault.
A simple mistake to a complex situation.
It’s as if someone was just waiting to lift up the curtains.
Showing everything and ruining the uh..
“Big Secret”

I’m Bisexual.
Being caught isn’t fair.
Why don’t straight people have to come out?
Because it’s “Normal”
The “Right Path”
Everyone complains about Pride month, when straights get the whole year to themselves.
The problem isn’t our sexuality.
The problem is that people like to judge other people and no one is willing to change that.

i should be listening to music,
while writing love poems.
but i’m busy,
and all i can manage is a short little note,
about something else.

my mind feels like clean paper today,
fresh and beautiful.
it’s been filled with the brightest colors
-someone telling me i’m beautiful,
loved.
someone loving my words,
someone whispering promises of heaven in a song.

it’s been filled with bright-eyed questions,
running,
but always feeling oh so very right.
i feel oh so very right.

i ignore this small twinge in my gut,
my life is going so well,
that i do not doubt.
but i ignore that small twinge in gut,
when someone said i could be cured.

their face appears everywhere,
and their face is my mother’s inspiration.
does she think i can be cured?

i am the perfect daughter.
i study, i volunteer.
i am happy, i am kind.
i am in clubs. i am good with my friends,
reasonable and responsible.
but there’s a blight she doesn’t know -a blight that is not a disease.
but when your inspiration tells you so, would you dismiss it as an interesting view?
would you believe it if you knew my blight? or would you forget?

i, i can only describe my blight as bright.
i have been told i light, like every color in the world.
for once, i feel right.
i may not fit in, but i know the lines on which i walk.
or i know how to walk.

because you told me, to hear someone who said i was bright.
because you have always supported what i am.

When I was sixteen I fell in love with a girl
Who looked like autumn
Long wavy hair the colour of maple leaves
Freckles on her cheeks scattered like raindrops on grass
She felt like home in ways I could never understand

Rose petal lips and silk skin
She had silver knives hidden as collarbones in her chest
They didn’t hurt me until she left
That summer I broke my own heart for her

Falling in love with her was easy
But accepting it was so much harder
She made me feel things I wasn’t supposed to feel

The first time she kissed me was magic
She ghosted her lips across mine
And I didn’t know it had happened
Until it was over
I can still taste the coffee from her lips

My autumn girl
Your heart was filled with wild flowers
You said you’d never change the world
But in one summer you changed mine
To this day I don’t remember how to get back to where I was without you