I feel as though
after kissing you
I no longer feel
the desire I once held
for you

The passion isn't there
the way I thought it was
It's almost like kissing
my brother, not lover
so please lets just be friends

When your words are placed with precision
And your thoughts are all in line
When there's the perfect analogy in your speech
He's not there to listen, that's the time.

When your words come out in a jumble
And you laugh 'till you're in tears
When you tell stupid jokes and nobody but he laughs
That's the day that he appears.

I wonder sometimes about the former friends
Then I look at you and I don't want you to be a former friend.
I never want you to get unexcited when I come.
Or slowly don't text don't call no more "hey let's hangout friend".

Yes I'm scared if you leave me for another friend.
That's why when they chill I stay distant or over talk you to act like there funnier then you.

I only write this cause you do it to me
You make me feel bigger in something's but smaller in others.

I sound weird but your awkward
Dang if you leave that's a ******..

If I didn't love my truck so much ,
I'd drive it off a cliff .
Do you know how maddening it is to go a whole day
Twenty ******* four hours
Without a single concious thought .
Except as when I drive home
And they rush me
Collecting their stamps on the first Tuesday of the month between my ears and
I switch on the radio
So I don't pull over and kick over that bird bath in that yard .
I love mine .
I sit on my hands so I don't serve myself to the belly of that semi.
I want to get a ***** tattoo .
I got to finish my hip .
What if I cover myself too much and I have no room left and I want more things to stop the aching ?
I'm 20 .
Two decades old .
I live with my parents again .
I have never gone downtown drinking .
Or finished enrolling in college .
Why do I chicken out of every ****** appointment ?
I don't want medicine .
I could go for a slushie .
Am I real person ?
I toy with my floor mat , because it makes me place my feet weird .
It's not because I'm awkward .
I wish I had a joint .
Wait .
I can't smoke **** anymore ,
It stops my heart .
Well ... ****** .™

I
Am awkward
And jumbled

I fit together
Like sticks
And stones
With childs elmer glue

Like a macaroni smiley face
With the edges all wonky

And you say my "curves" are beautiful
But i say my "angles" are awkward
Too sharp
My hips
Too prominent

You can see my collar bone
For miles
My ribs are
All too
There

My skin has become transparent
My veins
An ugly blue
My freckles
Out of place
I just dont know what
To do

Im a scarecrow
Of human peices
Individually
Good
But sow me together
I dont quite fit

I
Am awkward
And jumbled

It was never easy, for me to say the three words that flew out of your mouth more times a day than I'd ever in my lifetime
I'm not the romantic type
I'm awkward and shy and not one to talk much but you were always there for me when I needed you
I never thought I was worthy of anyone's love, much less yours
I wanted so badly to push you away once we got close but you
You showed me how to trust again
How to love again without getting hurt
I had a fear of heights
I didn't want to fall after you'd pushed me up so far into the sky
I liked the view from where we were
You made everything look so small and my fears
subsided
I still can't say the three words so instead I'll say
Olive You
And I'll hope you understand what I'm trying to get across