Hate grows very slow and it grows very thick
He was an annoyance once, he now makes me sick
Distance also grows, it grows with the hate
And sometimes the coldness it feels just like bait
Something to snag me to get a reaction
But if you look a bit longer, under closer inspection
You see that it's not, you see you don't care
I think that I'm lost in this ****** up nightmare

It's been 3 months since his passing
The loss is starting to set in
I feel lost when I think about it
I try not to but at times like these it sinks in
Nobody understands how I am  feeling
I don't want to deal with family
Not my siblings,  cousins,  aunts,  uncles not no one
I just want to be left alone to suffer in solitude
My sister keeps trying to change me
She doesn't give up and she's making me angry
I can't stay here much longer.
I still have thoughts of suicide as escape forever
Then I have thoughts of just leaving for a long period of time
Away from all of them
Just to see if I can repair this wretched heart

“professional editing” sounds so pretentious, I know
I’ve heard the jokes before, you aren’t my latest comedian
few would call me pretentious,
weird maybe, goofy probably, energetic definitely
my major is a map to my life,
everything makes more sense to me when it’s written down
“English major” is too broad of a window,
I need the tight tunnel of editing to get me to the end,
to lead me to the light.

I like the way I hate the Boston metro subway train.
It's actually called The T, I think short for train, but
I know it doesn't matter much to me anyway. I like the way that
subway train sounds: The Screech, The Dust, The
"HEY! Do not touch my ****!" The question:
"How could they possibly have put another advertisement up there?"
There's a person at the counter saying "ma'am, your ticket didn't go through" and there is a baby crying
and someone else who's rich and
probably, they're whining.
There's a person reading something and I crane my head to look
and I'm disappointed it's just another stupid John Grisham book. It's all the same:
the way I like to hate the Boston metro subway train.

You are so lovely
Who else would bring me this joy?
You are my only

I love you of course.
But thoughts of him whirl around
And what could've been.

I wish for options
To look from another place
But I cannot look

Just because I said so do as I say,
The law is the law tax payers so pay,
Don't try and make a dollar of your own,
Because without paying the man,
How can you know what you know.
In the land of the free,  
Nothing is legitimate if you don't pay a fee.
Just because you've learned Alot in life,
You better think twice,
Before you speak advice,
unless you've paid the agreed upon price,
Do you really believe someone is eating today because you logged hours in on the site freerice?
The powers that be,
Will never cure cancer or ***,
Not following policies,
Put in place by the pharmaceutical company,
Protected by money and greed,
Corrupt police run free,
Get a slap on the wrist,
Influenced by Green.
Just because we live in the land of the free,
Nothing will change,
If we don't grow a voice,
And take the time to fight back the powers who say,  do as I say you don't have a choice.  
Let's bring on the destruction of corruption,
I'm tired of our justice being obstructed.