When I was born,
I cried a lot,
I was ALIVE!
I wanted to stay with the Angels,
But, you laughed and cried tears of joy,
You wanted me so much,
When I died,
I cried only one tear of joy,
I was GONE! No more,
I was going back to my creator,
But you cried tears of sorrow,
I would be missed dearly.
2/5/2019.

Angels are not sweet,

they are hard when they tell you –


what you have to do.

Every night has it's own horrors,
when I'm alone.
I overthink all the terrors,
that fight to ****.

People leave eventually,
but not before fake advice,
which leaves their mouth flatly
while my mind fights to see the point.

"Suicide doesn't end the pain,
it passes it to someone else"
But what if there is no one
to pass the pain onto.

This is an ongoing battle,
between my heart and my mind.
Another word,
and my heart will win the fight.

I fight to be alone,
yet I can't stand my own presence.
Each time the sun rises,
my body magics another scar.

I am a flower,
amongst the rest.
Yet I am lost,
because I am grey against the rest.

I'm sorry I didn't speak,
because of the words that left your mouth,
and landed like arrows,
not allowing my heart to breathe.

Now every word that leaves
is measured.
Making sure there is no poison,
so another can breathe.

                           *
Her parents told her to be happy,
coz angels don't cry.
Angels can fly said,
and jumped.

We were strong,
Indestructible.
Our wings protected us,
Resistant.
Each of our feathers different,
Inimitable.
We stood a shield forever,
Imperishable.
But,
We faltered, our trust shattered,
Shatterproof,
once.
And we broke, millions of our
Divine plumage littered
Our battle ground.
Our backs featherless,
Bare.
Tears of our own, a rusty blue
Verdigris.
We rebel, and we fall.
But, we will rise again.

Why you call me angel? Once she asked..
I can't be one - must be the other side
Cause Angels have never be to cry,
they don't get bound with chains,
get hit or ****** till bleed
they don't have any fears to leave someone alone
they never wish they could die
angels don't have to live in nightmares
They don't need to learn how to love pain to survive
they can just laugh and fly away..

No..i said.. you must be an angel
You've just forgotten how you loose your wings
cause only an angel can do what you do to me
Only an angel can make someone laugh
Who never even learned to smile
and take away all this pain and darkness I've been born in
Only an angel can melt a person made of steel to anything that can feel
Only you where able to made a person out of a living robot
So yes..you are my angel
My fallen Angel,
shooted down in this hell with broken wings,
But with an unbroken heart,
just covered in dust to avoid the demons all around,
and one day you will get your wings back -
you will get them back and get the call to leave this place,
and the only thing I want
is to grow strong enough
to come with you,
to resist the way just with these wings
you teached me to build out of dreams and beats..
or if I can't..at least I wanna watch your flight back where you really belong

Ok, so you can call me your angel for real,
but only if i can call you mine,
and if we promise each other
to get together on the flight
She said and smiling cried..

2 years later she got her wings back as she died..
the last thing she asked me for
was to don't stop ,to get ready for this flight,
even alone..

and here I am 14 Years later
14 after she's gone-
And haven't stop trying to fly,
trying to save what she'd left for me
to honour what she has done for me..
trying to become a person like her,
to teach sometimes someone how to fly,
to hold on to my dreams
and ever look up in the sky,
like as hope to see her there -
like she's just gone a moment before.

I just hope she can see me down in here - and I hope she's smiling for what she sees