I'M HIgh
I took all my medication at once
I feel nothing
but I feel like I'm floating
I can't feel my bones
but my feet are cold
is this what its like to be an angel?
an angel on 10 different pills
floating above everyone
maybe, darling I wasn't meant to walk on this world

The entropy of the universe, microcosmic in this house
I can't control everything, I can't make you clean up
your cereal bowl
or stay out of my space
in the garage
I wish for a place
where every little thing has a niche
and every month or so, I get out a cloth
and dust

Maintaining entropy
Keep it at a steady level

Numb
nUMb
NUMB
The medicine is eating away parts of my brain
Slowly turning me into a rotting pile of bones
Artificially filling in all the cracks
Time for another pill
Pill after pill
1 pill
2 pill
Yellow pill
White pill
There goes my refill

An empty soul with nothing to lose

My father sees nothing
I don't let him in
I show him his little girl
The little girl who wasn't afraid to have her front tooth knocked out by the big kid next door
I show him the fake smile and let him hear the fake laugh
"How are you?"
I'm well, just breathing
"That's great kiddo"
I can see the worry in his eyes
He's catching on to my lies
He can see the void of emotion in my eyes
And hear the desperation in my voice
"It's going to be okay"
I wish I could believe you dad

My mother sees laziness
No effort
Someone who has given up
"You have to stop being so sad"
I'm not ******* sad mom
I want to **** myself
My mother sees shyness
She doesn't see me breaking down in tears
The fear in my eyes when I leave the house
"Stop being so anxious over nothing"
It's not nothing mom
I'm afraid to live
She doesn't see that
She sees what she wants to see
Not what the doctor has told her 800 times
That if she doesn't help I won't make it to see 25