as i walked past our old apartment
on another cold Saturday
every time I walked this path home from work
came flooding back at once
and i so desperately wished
i could run past the train tracks
through our complex
and up the stairs
back to the first experience i had living on my own
so that maybe
i could go back in time four years
and not repeat the disgusting mistakes
of my young adulthood

this time, I caught myself before the painful longing consumed me.
i have the same chances now that I did then.

new home.
new best friend.
new job.

i could easily fall back in patterns and make the same poor choices.
or, now bear with me here.
i could do everything right.

I just have to work for it.

There is no rush,
Only breath.

There is no stress,
Release that notion.

Just let it be,
        let it be.

Listen to your heart beat,
Dance to its song.
Sway to its rhythm
Like you should have all along.

Make an intention,
Set it to motion.
Keep your head
Above life's commotion.

This day is a gift,
This life is a light.
Your soul is a beam
That can brighten the night.

Smile like a full moon,
Shoot like a star.
Be the best you,
The true you that you are.

An angels keep
rolled to her side

pressed heat to mine sleep

wept to our skin
a lovers hold

Force not yourself

at a world you believe
is not here

a thought not happy

an invisible name for nothing

as you hold your lack against them