The pebbles of your core
shine in ruminated scores
like a sorcerer spiking more
unlisting storms and ores

Smile dear rock, from a mile
touch the source of love ice
melt those gorgeous pure eyes
to the specks of the shiny shores

The rocky waves smell of testicles
Vestibules and alleyways of fertility
sung by Cronus as he holds a knife
eager to mutilate from a skyview

The sandy waters sink in Gaia hymns
as the scythe shed the slices of foams
where scattered sperms stays awash
to wish swimmers an eternal beauty

Ohh sacred gods on the aphrodite hills
Spread love unseen, unknown,unheard
stain the precedent of the flowing wind
give me the hint, a seat on the sainted scent

‪all i have is hate in my heart ‬
‪and it's vile‬
‪maybe it's hate to mask the pain i feel - ‬
‪because hate is easier to explain than pain‬
‪maybe it's a heart hardened by years of constant heartbreak and hurt‬
‪maybe it isn't hate ‬
‪maybe it's a lack of understanding ‬
‪maybe it's not me ‬
‪maybe it's all just you‬
‪i will always blame myself for everything - because blaming you means i hurt you ‬
‪and that's the worst feeling in the world and the hardest to come to terms with ‬
‪i can't blame you because i ruined it‬
‪maybe we're both at fault‬
‪but you're honest... i think‬
‪at least you had guts to tell me some sort of truth ‬
‪and not run away like a coward‬
‪but maybe you are a coward‬
‪because you didn't tell me the truth from the beginning ‬
‪did you lie to me?‬
‪you probably don't think you did,‬
‪but i kind of think so and it makes me sick‬
‪you said you were different‬
‪you said you wouldn't do what they did‬
‪i will thank you for not using me for my body ‬
‪and i am grateful that you understood where i was coming from ‬
‪i loved you then, i love you, i truly think i always will love you ‬
‪i'm trying to extinguish the burning hatred‬
‪and numb the pain‬
‪i'm trying my hardest‬
‪but it'll never be enough‬

Citizens beware, for there was a catastrophe that knocked on the devil’s door
And he demanded that we keep our eyes open wider than ever before.
Your mind vividly reacts, it all seems so clear
Until something on the totem pole breaks and rationality bleeds out like a single tear.

I am solid, seeing things through the cold and unloving dark,
For there is a light at the end of the tunnel
In all their empty faces and broken hearts.

Citizens beware, there is hatred fueling their tanks that were on low
But are now plants seeded in the cursed ground, struggling to grow.
All sense has vanished, never to be seen,
So back into the black hole of despair and shattered dreams.

I am a waste, passing through a land we were once proud to claim as ours,
Now only seeing the corruption that lies beneath
Piles upon piles of fallen stars.

Citizens beware, those who were once alive
Will rise and try to reclaim their lost light,
For the darkness has drained the world of love
And left it a wasteland of what we feared it would become.

I am angry, not at the world nor its painful scars,
But at the people with hearts of hatred
Like phantoms wandering in the dark.

Citizens, open up your eyes
And let the desire for change in you rise.
Be like a phoenix from the flame
And battle with love what was once hate.

I am invincible with a passion for peace burning in my heart
And I will not stop until this madness ends,
Until we are like phantoms marching out of the dark.

The future's bleak
The future's orange

This year,
love has so many more meanings than the last.
Love takes up more of the space in which emptiness lived until now.
This year, love can be definable,
or not.
I've learned that some types of love do not sound like
"I love you"
but can only be felt.
In the kind touches of a companion,
of a new little sister,
or of your cats.

Love that can only be seen,
in the pictures of you and your best friend at a party,
in the face of someone who will stay on the line until you say goodbye first,
in your co-star on stage when you realize you've got it down.

Love that can be defined, but only in the obscurist of ways
because who are we kidding;  we're teenagers.
"You are so good"
"I can't wait to see where life takes you"
become immense words of love.

Love only whispered,
in paying for your friend's coffee,
in adding a special touch on a card,
in promising to run away with your best friend when she shows up crying about her mother.

Love,
a light touch of mysticism, the kind that makes you stay out late talking in a Walmart parking lot,
the kind that fills you when you make plans to run away to the city after graduation,
the kind that takes you 40 minutes to get lost in before realizing it.

This year was spent loving,
maybe not even myself most of the time, but loving nonetheless.
A swift movement, a soft turn,
and here we are.
A new year of undefinable, definable, mystical, whispered, and purposeful love.
I can't wait to see where life takes us next.

a little boy killed himself today
i did now know him
Or go to school with him
he was only a freshman in high school,
no more than 15 years old
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
because he felt like he was all alone in this great big world
because he thought he was a burden
because he hit rock bottom
because he felt he had nowhere to go
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
he will never walk across that stage in his cap and gown
he will never get the promotion
he will never see his bride walk down the aisle
or his child take their first steps
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
because he thought things would never get better.

but they do get better.
maybe not today, or tomorrow
maybe not even next week.
but they do get better.

this little boy that i tell you about
was overwhelmed with darkness
he felt like he was drowning
and he probably felt like his cries were going unheard.

i know this because I was once this boy.
but something inside me kept telling me
that it gets better
so i held out
and
things
got
better.
they got better for me
and i promise you that things will get better for you too.

"suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better"

love walks in when you least expect it
and it is both beautiful and ruinous.
those feelings of love are the most powerful and beautiful feelings on planet earth and i wish to feel that someday.
but love can be ugly and one-sided
and that seems to be the only kind of love i know.
love from family is warm and comforting,
and that is never one sided.
but love from others is unkind,
it is fickle and fleeting
and leaves a bad aftertaste.
unrequited love is not romantic,
it is pain,
a pain that is both sharp and dull at the same time.
the initial sharp stab eventually subsides and is gone.
but the dull pain never goes away,
you just make room for it and live with that dull ache
until you are lucky enough to find someone who thinks you shine brighter than the sun
and whose heart skips a beat when you walk in a room
and who loves your whole person and entire soul.

that is the love i will search the ends of the earth for
but will never find

Don't feed the hate
Feast with family

Don't plant bombs
Work the garden

Don't plot and scheme
Follow God's path

Don't believe the hipe.
Believe the Hope.

Don't hope against hope
Place hope in the Truth

Don't trust fleeting feelings
Trust your Father

As I sit front row amongst an abundance of lushness I accompany a congregation filled with long-term friends. The holy ghost is in Canis latrans. Taxidea taxus isn't really diggin' it. Mephitis mephitis came into service smelling a bit reckless. Procyon lotor is all over Lynx rufus's shoulder. Castor canadensis just don't give a ****. Neotoma cinerea haven't said a peep and Glaucomys sabrinus is the flyest I've seen in weeks. The tunes that the Warblers are singing is sweet, with the Hawks hitting notes all the way to the peak and you know the Great Horned Owl cadence had to be deep. The gospel put all California Poppy, Star Tulip and Western Pennyroyal to sleep. Now everyone quiet down, all I hear is the river and the wind, patiently waiting for Giant Sequoia to speak. Drum roll please? Pileated Woodpecker knows the perfect beat. The deepest sermon goes unspoken. Nature is the religion and the earth is church. Praises to God for his Kingdom translating his words.