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It has been long
Since I's last here
A lot has changed
Too much I fear

Once upon, then ago
Nothing but sorrow
Since that time before
Waiting for tomorrow

Concealed in me
Was locked away
Till the monster inside
Could come out to play

Dont believe for a moment
As if you know me
Look a little deeper
No longer cease to see

Write 1000 words
Each one a different sound
Meaning behind each and every
Sinking beneath the ground

Another paragraph
Yet another rhyme
Heart and soul empty
Reached the end of time

No sense to be made
You couldn't understand
Don't listen anymore
Adhere your *reprimand
.
A* is for *anything to end this suffering
B is for broken, breaking like my fragile state
C is for careful, cautious of these eggshells
D is for disaster, destruction of what we had
E is for empty, emotionless cries in the night
F is for false, fake like the lies we tell ourselves
G is for grief, grieving not over the dead but mistakes
H is for horrible, hatred the purest of black
I is for insanity, insomnia plaguing my sleep
J is for jaded, just lacking in many emotional departments
K is for knavish, kiddish behaviour I exemplify
L is for lost, losing faith, happiness and you
M is for mistakes, monster at heart and in action
N is for nonsensical, never-ending
O is for officious, obnoxious demeanour and persona
P is for pathetic, powerless to make the right moves
Q is for quitter, quick to leave and walk away
R is for resentment, relationships aren't for men like me
T is for turmoil, turbulence beneath the wings of trouble
U is for understatement, underestimating
V is for violent, vindictive almost as if by nature
W is for wishful, waiting for something new
X is for xenodochial, but never to those who matter most
Y is for youthful, yokelish and distasteful to be around
Z is for zany, pertaining to the cause of most problems
I really don't know, in all honesty is a bashful, distasteful slur
Take it with a grain of salt, I posted it because it got alot off my chest, if you take offense, are hurt, or displeased with its existence, Alt+F4 :L
I got a small taste of what it's like to live with you.
Not much I know but hey, it was great while it lasted right?

Few brief days we shared as proof that love despite distance is true.
How many months have we been proving others wrong?

One day I think we'll be together indefinitely no matter what we do.
Oh how I can't wait for that day, will everything be perfect then?

*I truly believe
My own "style" if you will.
Tried something different and hoped for the best
WHY AM I EVEN ******* ALIVE?!
I can't do it anymore, I can't I can't...
Urgh! The breakdowns, I DONT DESERVE THIS

I am nothing
I dont exist
I mean nothing
I dont matter
I get nothing
I dont care

Please help me, what do I do
I dont know anymore
Im a mistake, a ***** up
Useless
Pathetic
Good for nothing

Everything I do is wrong, when I'm upset I get called angry
When I try to defend my sadness I'm just angry
I speak and it doesn't matter, why would it
Don't I matter
How I feel
It doesnt feel like it

Im not the only one
I did it too
Im wrong
Stop doing this
Stop doing that
You dont do this
You do that

I CANT I CANT I CANT
MY HEAD it SpiNs
pLeASe sTOp the MaDNesS
I'm okay... I think
Once or twice have I been knocked around,
On several occasions I was lost but found.
There came a time when enough was enough,
Put my foot down, "I've had it to here with this stuff".
~
I've realised I can't take it anymore,
Words my be cheap, but they leave a nasty sore.
Bullet and bandaids are but nothing to a grenade,
To sustain more injuries, I must say I'm afraid.
~
I'm not strong, I'm certainly not tough,
Life for an eighteen year old should never be this rough.
They say you get dished was you serve,
Guess when it comes to me, there's a bit of a learning curve.
~
No matter how much you may scream and shout,
I was always the type to hide away and pout.
Rhymes do little in the way of healing,
But it's helping me forget this horrible feeling.
~
Like a twisted joke, that I've seemed to miss,
An shaken faith is hardly fixed with a half-hearted kiss.
Been told many things, I am and I'm not,
I guess who I used to be, is the main thing I forgot.
~
I point no fingers, and push no blame,
When it comes to this madness, they and I are exactly the same.
When one is hurting, the other is to,
Tell them you'd sacrifice everything, never thought it'd be true.
~
I don't mean that as harsh as it seems,
Just wish things would work out like they do in my dreams.
What hurts the most, is how often I break,
Being reminded, I'm nothing but a *mistake.
To you, and all that I do,
A mistake in words, and words unspoken
From actions, to inaction I'm truly at fault
And I simply don't know what to do...
... Whatever is left inside me ...
... is a sorry excuse for an endorphin ...
Like a grain of sugar, sweet, pure and joyous
Lost in a container of salt.
Nothing but lost
It doesn't belong...
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