I do not need alcohol to have
fun.
I do not need cigarettes to be
cool.
I do not need dope to be
creative.
I need to feel you in my
veins.
I need to breathe you in with every
heartbeat.
And even if you’re just a high,
I want to never come
down.
I do need you.

i.
i hate you. i hate you for breaking my heart, i hate you for making me love you, i hate you for all of it. you swore to me that this time would be different. there would be no tears, no scars, no late-night wondering about what i did wrong. ...so then why is it 3am and i can’t stop wondering what i did wrong?

ii.
you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever met. with that heartbreaking smile you told me about your past trauma, old drama, last flame that never could’ve lasted. i will never meet someone else with the same kind of glint in your eyes. you broke my heart, and darling i thanked you.

iii.
i still ******* love you. with everything within me i have tried to move on but my healed heart still wants you, after all this time, and how can i deny that heart the very same thing that could fix it? i am hurting, my dear. i am hurting without you.

I said It's just so easy
what is, what's so easy you asked
the words slipping from tired lips

we lay in pitch black
your back to my chest
our eyes not adjusted

being comfortable with you I said
you laughed, the best sound I know
no it isn't you said

we could see silhouettes now
each of us tangled in the other's
breathing in tandem

who made you the expert on me I asked
you did, silly you whispered
and I understood.

You outgrew me
and I didn't mind

I grew at my own pace
and later left you behind.

It's okay to
question love
sometimes

you can't
find answers
without questions

and solutions
don't start
without answers.