I’d rather be a pigeon
than a blue bird.
I’d rather be me, and be free,
then sit in my cage and act pretty.

you give me a paradise of feeling,
a rushing blood flow,
pounding heartbeat,
a smile as wide as the oceans.

my love for you is from east to west,
never-ending and unceasing.
it is infinitely and limitlessly untamable.
no force can pry the adoration from my hands.

your eyes are my utopia.
they contain the universe,
the dust of the stars reside in their hue,
the galaxies circulate in your gaze.

I seem to never grow tired of you,
your essence calms the storms inside of me.
tonight I listen to your voice,
and I will overdose on euphoria.

slow mornings,
soft lights.
easy touches,
sleepless nights.
steady breaths,
messy hair.
heavy eyelids,
cool air.
side-ways smiles,
delicate skin.
hushed voices,
my morning sin.

when I hear the footsteps up the stairs,
I know there’s something coming.
either a lecture, a scolding or a request,
it’s hardly not these.

just sometimes when I hear these footsteps,
I wish it’d be for good.
for them to ask about my day,
or about the boy I love.

but rather it’s a list of things I do not do.
I can’t clean right, I don’t work, I haven’t any perfect grades.
so they take the time at night,
to shame me for these ways.

I want them to come upstairs,
with smiles on their face.
to praise me for the things I do do right,
and not the things I do wrong.

I have learned:

1. your past does not define you. yesterday’s mistakes are not today’s. we can always be better.

2. be humble. do not boast in how you look or how you dress. do not brag in your talents or your skills. you can be proud, but do not become prideful. always stay kind.

3. do not let someone else define your worth, talent or value because of what they do or do not give you.

4. be patient. all good things come in time and never stop working hard in what you’re striving to achieve.

5. words and music connect us. don’t ever stop telling stories, always keep writing, always keep sharing.

6. love your friends and family hard. appreciate them everyday and never give up on them.

7. you are cherished even if you feel like you’re not seen. when you don’t think your parts matter, widen your perspective and look at the bigger picture. they can’t make it happen without you.

8. you are more than just a body or face. your heart and soul is more beautiful than any outward appearance could ever be. don’t let first impresses be limited to only physical.

9. it’s okay to show affection to those that you love. let them know how you feel, and don’t be afraid to love big.

10. hard work and determination always pay off, even if it takes a while. you will get to where you’re going if you’re diligent and passionate. don’t wait to follow your dreams.

11. laugh loud. don’t worry about what others may think of you, happiness isn’t to be confined, you’re meant to express it.

12. let yourself be loved by others. you can’t give until you’ve been filled, always let others pour into you with adorations and affections so you can do the same.

13. don’t let people look down on you because you are young, don’t let them limit your potential because of your age. your young age does mean you’re any less talented, wise or valued than those older than you.

14. be confident in who you are. there is no one else on Earth like you, be proud of the progress you’ve made.

15. being quiet is okay, being reserved does not mean you’re lacking anything. there is beauty in the silence.

16. always express yourself. express your feelings and your love. don’t repress them.

17. don’t let a set back keep you down forever. rest, recover and jump right back where you left off. work hard, practice hard.

18. love yourself and love your friends more. never stop learning and always keep growing.

some days I sit back
and wonder what it feels like to be small.
I dream of looking up to meet his gaze,
instead of him being the one to do so.
I crave the sensation of my head
burying into his chest,
feeling so secure.
But instead I settle for my chin resting
on his shoulder.
It pains me when they don’t look down to me,
when instead they’re meeting my eyes
or worse, looking up to me.

I don’t mind my tummy or my thighs that touch.
My round cheeks and hips don’t bother me.
It’s only my tall height that gets me down,
that makes me feel so self-conscious.
I’ve cried and cried and cried,
prayed and prayed and prayed,
that some day I’ll wake up in a new body.
A smaller body, one just four inches shorter.
So I can hear his heartbeat drum in my ear,
so I can look up to meet his gaze.
So that I can feel secure and not uncomfortable.
Maybe one day I can accept,
but for now I just want to feel small.