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jess Nov 2012
they always dont care
they always dont try
they look at me like im crazy
but theyll never know
they laugh in my face
they call me names
they yell at me
but theyll never know
theyll never be proud
because i try my hardest
im bad because theyll notice me
my parents
arnt gifts they arny my blessings from god
they dont care about me
they never will
my tears run down my bright red cheeks
and make cracks in the dust
because they dont care
b Jul 2018
i told the girls at work about
time spent with jane.
they seemed awfully excited
for me.
maybe they could smell
that jane is new,
but familiar

like a car bought
used. she is barely driven
though. i still drive over
the skids i left from
trying to stop
too quick. you can see
my tread worn out like
sanded wood.

or maybe they could
smell the hope like dew on
the morning grass.
fresh but dangerous.
waiting
to trip me with my eyes
set ahead but not infront.
theyll leave the wire
right where they
got me the last time.

it would be an honor
to be fooled
by something so sweet
to the touch. it almost feels
alien
to not be so upset
by the way the weather
dictates my evenings.

i do not FEEL like i used to.
my love and guilt
helix and weave like code.

i would only kiss you now,
if it brought back the one i poisoned.

i live in a farm upstate now
like a dead house dog.
if ive really moved on
know that i did the impossible
we'll be better off for it.

and if things never work out with
jane, you best pray
someone loves me when im dead
cause they sure as hell
dont love me
now.
bipolarbandaids Jun 2016
they say dont self medicate
but i cant keep living this way
cant take all the anger and hate
drifting around getting lost in the gray.
would a cigarette be a real devastation?
Then theres all forms of self mutilation
i could always drown my uneasiness
with bottle after bottle of 60proof queasiness
theres all sorts of remedies
in prescription form
theyll make you feel happy and ecstatic and warm
or theyll make everything fuzzy and drag you down low
give your head an awful sort of chemical blow
theres so many options
theyll make me feel great
take away the bad feelings
coerce my mood to elevate
Infamous one  Feb 2013
Hope
Infamous one Feb 2013
Things are taken or walk away
I believe on day
Theyll find there way back
Sometimes things happen
before you're ready
If not maybe next time
Things happen when times are tough
Good enough but never enough
Love might be great career detoured
Or love failed money is great
Keep trucking don't lose hope
Everything you hoped for falls into place
Live on your own or live like will
And it shall go accordingly
Take time make time
Jeremy Bean  Aug 2013
Faithful
Jeremy Bean Aug 2013
Most are only faithful
until their options improve
then theyll quickly discard you
like a worn out pair of shoes.
Rowan  Sep 2018
How To Write
Rowan Sep 2018
Start with a word, any word.
And then a year later you might find a hundred pages.
A story just begun, a tale, that, in reality, needs some editing.
But I didn’t find myself in these pages I’d written, like the inspirational quotes say.
I found my characters, I found a few bad habits too,
Like how I bite my fingers as I stare at my computer in frustration,
Or stare at the wall in blank fixation.

Once the word is picked, don’t bleed out onto the screen,
Hold yourself together, else you won't have to lips to pour forth a single key.
Some old dude told you to bleed, didn’t he?
I’ve found, I don’t bleed until page 71,
When I have bonded with Jonathon,
And now I must watch him mourn his fiancee,
Who never got to propose.

Be careful about your planning. Too methodical,
And you’ll lose yourself in the untold parts,
Too spontaneous and you’ll see your story turned from
An epic dragon escape to a horror filled romance.
Find a medium of crazy that suits you, and remember the details
Of the night you tried marijuana and coughed as the smoke hit your throat.

Hug the computer tight, don’t let anyone see
Until you’ve determined the story strong. Some people open up at the blank page,
While others hide it away until it’s a polished four hundred and sixty two, front and back.
Say, here’s an idea—don’t forget to study your grammar too.
Unless, of course, you’re poetry demands to be free,
then flow round the corner and hesitate not with commas
theyll be no use for you.

After all this advice, I’ll tell you one thing.
Forget all of it, it’ll be nothing to you.
We storytellers like to go on and on about how to write,
When we barely ever write a real story of characters in between speeches.
If the only thing I could tell you, the only important fact I can say with utter certainty is,

For god’s sake,
Write.
mitigate
make them go away
theyll eat us all
if we let them stay
repeating lessons
learnt already
is no remedy
i reiterate
dont
vote
conservative
In the ghetto
Huh they say you can be anything
You wanna be
So i joined the army
Notknowing that I'll still
Face tragedy and racism aint went no where
It feels ghostly evil stares
Of past scornful memories
They traded stock off the fields
And put us in the penitentiary
I got my first arrest in elementary
Just for being black on a sunday
Walkin' on a one way street
Preachers aint talking about that
Cuz they know theyll get lynched for that
Now they follow anything
And everything
That attracts money fortune and fame
You know the name?
We die more for the name of the father
Religion is *******
No matter whats coming out the puplits
They still gone ****
Think of you as a nigguh belittle
Troublesome and only good
For cheap labor
Be good and ya might get a penny  raise
For good behavior
Still lookin' a savior?
That ***** been dead think abiut it
He died at 33 ?
Now ask yo self how many nigguhs
Died before 33? Ships full of slaves?
Lots of babies young men and women
Mothers fathers to sons n daughters
Two thousand fifteen and we
Still seeing slaughter ???
Can you see me running from the police
And we still think we run the streets
Peep game homies
Its no longer about racism
Its about us as a minority
Wither white black mexican or puerto rican
We all slaves
Payin' debts to society before we
Took our first ****
**** how could this be ?
My birth belongs to a bank industry
So all my real gangstas thugs to hustlers
Yea even wall street yall slaves too
Wake up the time is now
Gotta mind gotta use it
Or else these muthaphukkas will abuse it
This aint nothing new
Since the sun been shinin'
The same from beginning to end
The world was castedwith sin
There was darkness before light
Now that I'vegot the light
Its time to enlightened others
With the torch i aquired
Not long before ill be retired and life expired
For trying to reach for the truth
And many more
Live carefully
Cuz this is somethin' 2 die 4....
The ghetto!!!!
AFJ  May 2015
bando.
AFJ May 2015
we was in the bando,
trappin, we were trapped..
cook named Orlando,
moved across the track..

used to be my  neighbor, now hes got the paper,
owns a couple barbershops, got myself a taper,

owns a deli too, couple cleaners down the main street,
not long ago we were sitting in the same seat..

back when,

we was in the bando,
trappin, we were trapped..
kitchen hot too handle,
Found ourselves a rat..

polices, driving by increases...
Orlando had a thesis,
Moved in with his nieces..
He says...

"Theyll never catch me in here,
I live without fear,
only time i cry is with this tattoo tear"

A couple days later, cops broke the door in,
couple windows too, just to let more in,
they found a couple rifles, most of them foreign...
Cuffed Orlando, his niece, and his babymomma Lauryn...

multiple charges of distribution.
couple cases of ******...
money laundering, and weapons, his attorney would murmur...


They say my writing *****, this is no place for this crap..
i dont do poetry, i just write reality rap..
and truthfully, nowadays reality lacks.
So i dedicated this to his daughter Natalie Max.

25 to life..
no chance of parole, bottle....

of hennessy,

just *** he was my role model..

They say how can you defend him, when i yell free Orlando..
*** i still remember when..
we was in the bando...




-afj
Hannah  Apr 2020
When
Hannah Apr 2020
When I was a little girl I was told this world was filled with so much love. That with every scrape and every bruise their was a bandaid and a kiss to make it feel better.

When I was 10 years old I learned that you were sick. While it was a sickness in your body the doctors were able to treat it. From then on I learned that everything happens for a reason and that reason is to make us stronger. And everything that happens has a cure.

When I was 13 I realized that sickness was so much more. I never realized that sickness could've taken over your mind. It still doesnt seem real how at one moment a person you know so well can become an absolute stranger. You made me feel as if I was so useless. But I still stayed around. I tried everything

When I was 14 I realized that you weren't getting better. I thought there was a cure. I thought I could be the cure. Like the kiss to a scrape. All you needed was love. But I realized you didn't want my love. You were looking for something else. With your manipulative words you broke every single part of me. It's funny how kisses can only fix the outside damages but what can fix the damage on the inside? Words seem to only hurt more. You come to realize every good thing someone says to you is a complete lie. I didnt need a guy to break my heart when my own father did. The only love I ever needed from a man was from my father. It was at that moment I realized I was not lovable. If not even my caregiver for so long could love me than who possibly could?

When I was 15 I decided enough was enough. I somehow got the courage to finally cut off all ties with you. While this made me a better person I never got a closure. They say time heals all wounds which in some ways it does. I think rather in time you forget about things and push all the hurt down. Which can be a deadly game. I learned to bury my emotions for so long that I don't know what to do with them.

When I was 16 I realize that as that door is shut there is still so much hurt. Although I dont have to deal with your ******* and how worthless you made me feel I still deal with myself. The thing with mental and emotional abuse is even though the abuser may be gone... those thoughts are still always there. I still feel worthless and I dont feel as if anyone could ever love me. Some days are better than others. I believe every "I love you" means a I feel bad for you. And whenever everyone promises to always be there for me it's just a way to try and get me to trust them. What I've learned from you is every person who comes into my life I never think "I wonder IF theyll leave me" it's always "I wonder WHEN theyll leave me." I can never see myself as this great person who can accomplish anything. Even writing this poem I can only criticize it. Although this storm had passed.. the damage always remains.

When I look back on life I see how far I've come. I dont want to view myself as a broken person and I dont want anyone else to view me as a broken person either. I'm not "strong" I've just had to deal with a lot of *******. Everyone has their own problems and demons. That's just life. It's not fair, and it's not always beautiful.
Shahrukh Zamir May 2014
A crystal vision
that fortune tells,
like sparrots in my spirit,
but rather, bought a ticket for God to  pay me visit,

I hope he answers
no phones by his thrones,
above outer space
but lives within our inner
with open ears,
that answer prayer
the unseen near ,

I hope my feather glisten,
when I fly and shine,
broken wings holding on to parachutes
that skydive up the winds,
Tell gravity
Im jonesin to climb.

Been distant from home sweet home..
Left eating a Sour patchs,
and packed my bags ( beneath you eyes) ,
Long roads with no sleep,
Extra steps  in paps broken shoes
that I got to outfit wearing a travel packed outfit..

All Smiles but sunny days are dead,
Like who worries about the storms ahead,
Seen some with cigarettes for stress
knowing theyll only blacken my breath

Lungs in cemetaries,
Air attached to inhalors not enough for this journey,
perhaps instill Mayweather stamina,
to box out a circle of squares when they box me in,
hardships float on my uppercuts
let God and money band aid my wins.
i saw a big white swan with feathers just like snowswimming in the lake so graceful and so slowmountains in the back ground standing oh so talland in between them a lovely waterfallthe swan he came towards with his head held highswimming with such elegance underneath the skythen he turned around as if if to say goodbye.so beautiful was he it almost made me cryi wont forget the things that i saw that dayill hold them in my memory and that is where theyll stay.
Jacob Bennett Dec 2010
This bodies taken, it has been pulled away brought out of place.

Weve walked away with a corpse and weve got nothing left to lose.

What can we do with this, this empty shell, this doomed lifeless man.



What a reflection of our lives, what a dance in our minds, where will we go

what shall we do, we are sitting here wasting away without a purpose.

Im always looking forward, but ive got no destination, no compensation.



This unwholesome life this tattered dream, why am I here why dont I believe?

Im looking for answers, a purpose to this routine, where am I going what have I to gain?

Tell me my purpose, feed me some truth, you stand there as if you have something to say but the words never escape

your mouth.



I see this body, this soulless body, who told this man what truth did he receive.

I guess an ending to everything he was or is there something more?

Is this man burning? Do flames consume him? Is he paying for his mistakes or is he paying

for the fear of another mans fear to speak?



If someone had told him, where would he be, would he be with the angels would he be at his feet.

To think where this mans body lays and where his souls seperates, could have all been changed.

To think this mans fate lies within the words of another man, a man sent by the creator but a man who was

a coward, a man who was ashamed, now a man lay dead in his grave and his sould is chained to a lake.



Many men suffer and many men die, we with hold the truth and another man burns.

We tell ourselves theyll be reached by someone else, how can we know their faith, how

can we know where theyll end up.



What a responsibility we have took on, where souls lie in our hands, where some men burn

and some men live in paradise from the speech out of our mouths. Tongues of fire have power to

breathe life into men and death into others. Open your mouth and speak the truth to save another mans fate.

— The End —