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O stony grey soil of Monaghan

The laugh from my love you thieved;

You took the gay child of my passion

And gave me your clod-conceived.



You clogged the feet of my boyhood

And I believed that my stumble

Had the poise and stride of Apollo

And his voice my thick tongued mumble.



You told me the plough was immortal!

O green-life conquering plough!

The mandril stained, your coulter blunted

In the smooth lea-field of my brow.



You sang on steaming dunghills

A song of cowards' brood,

You perfumed my clothes with weasel itch,

You fed me on swinish food



You flung a ditch on my vision

Of beauty, love and truth.

O stony grey soil of Monaghan

You burgled my bank of youth!



Lost the long hours of pleasure

All the women that love young men.

O can I stilll stroke the monster's back

Or write with unpoisoned pen.



His name in these lonely verses

Or mention the dark fields where

The first gay flight of my lyric

Got caught in a peasant's prayer.



Mullahinsa, Drummeril, Black Shanco-

Wherever I turn I see

In the stony grey soil of Monaghan

Dead loves that were born for me.
hushhush Dec 2014
I need to write I need 
To write I
Need to write

Right right
Know
No, I dont need to

It like there's buzzing in my hands
Its like there's buzzing in my body
Like my head's rocking backwads and forewards


I see the open window 
And I want to hang out of it
With my weight on my hips
Just like.
Rocking rocking
And. Air

I always need it now
And the way the letters look when I type
Just fast enough
Like theres movement
Like i'm busy
When i'm only sitting down

Its like the colours have gone inverse around my eyes

Like negative colours swirling
Framing everything i see
Like its a tunnnel

But i'm not moving through it because the end is big and clear
And im already there

I can't have faith that's it
(But there is no certainty though in those words i just spoke)
How many times i've wished i might be
That squirrel up in a tree
Free free free free
But he'll never go far

I tried to make art yesterday
I found paper, tape, pens and magazine
A cocktail stick

It looked like *******
I crumpled the paper with oil pastelled hands
I stabbed a cocktail stick through the lines
Wound the tape, wound the tape.

I poured my tea over it
Poured the tea
And it bled red 
From the marks of a red pen 

But no now is today
Nonoooo  why did I go back?
Now is shaking.
Flies on the glass,
But they ruin the dream
But they made a new one
But they never knew. 

Sofa sofa and cardboard boxes
Like im in a coat again

Where am I going
I'm not there yet 
I want to fly
I was scared to admit it before
Or I wasnt sure
But i'd like to fly
Fly fly

Shaking legs
My eyes aren't right not right
My eyes are dragging too much
Its like the weight's on the bottom
Like a hammock but no swinging noo

Why are there sparkles on the floor?
Who thought of the teapot plant *** outside?
I can see it coz it's white
Everything else is black
But the giant teapot is white there
 in the night garden out of the window
Who thought of it?
Who designed it?
How was it made?
Where are they now?
I hope they stilll make things

Never stop making
I'd like to be someone who never stops making
And creating
But i'd like to be someone who starts making

Spiders think they own their house,
Coz they built their web
On these walls we built
And this house that we made

Hahaha
Haha
Hahhhhh

But we built our house on somebody's floor, 
(Or someone's wall
Whatever direction they walk in?)

And we built this town on somebody's floor

But I didnt build it
No

Labels
White sticky labels
Only found them again when I no  longer needed them

Lets all just live in the world okay
Or even no
Live where you like

2 rules:
Be kind.
Make people happy,
In the very least
Try.

But I dont make the rules
Nononono
Forget the rules
I can't make rules
I can't close it
No closing
Everything just be
Everything
Spill over
Spill over

Open.
Found this from a while ago, not sure what was going through my head at quite a few points. (CRAYON)
allison joy Jan 2014
1.)   make him coffee everyday and know exactly how he likes it

2.)   have a playlist of songs solely that relate to him (listen to it everyday)

3.)   know things about him that he doesn’t even know himself

4.)   pretend to sleep while he’s over (actually fall asleep)

5.)   lie about liking him

6.)   give anyone a chance (i mean him)

7.)   cry herself to sleep because she realized he wasn't the one

8.)   not realize every poem shes written lately has been about him

9.)   play the memories over and over in her mind

10.) never let him know how she feels because that would only complicate things

11.) give him advice, even if its not what she wants to say to him, but it’s for the best

12.) kiss his scars (she knows where he’s been)

13.) regret every word she never said (theres alot)

14.) always wish for him at 11:11

15.) always fall asleep faster when he’s by her side

16.) sing every song in the car off key with him

17.) kiss him and mean it (tells him she doesn’t)

18.) want him so bad it hurts and be content with being just friends (so she says)

19.) spend her nights lying awake retracing her lips because there once was a time he had kissed them

20.) let him call her and tell her that they’re better off staying friends (she’ll agree, hang up and cry herself to sleep)

21.) act like nothing has happened the next time she see’s him (maybe hug him a little longer than usual)

22.) close her eyes and take a deep breath (tell herself she’s okay)

23.) google the symptoms of a broken heart and realize her diagnosis is him

24.) know they’ll never be anything more but  stilll hope

25.) be by his side no matter what


(a.f.)
Aisha Zahrah Dec 2013
Morn hath come, and I rushest out of my bed;
I washest my hands, and striketh my fingers wet;
I cleaneth out dust, which keepest falling from 'em stilll;
I greetest lone dew, clouds, and yon usual mornin' shrill;

I washest my face, and ponderest over Thy Grace;
I soaketh my lips, and saith Thy love verses;
Verses of love, my florid comfort and solace;
Best of wonders, justice, and solar miracles;

I slideth hastily into my white gown;
For dawn hath come, and greeted me when alone;
Night hath but been a dream and a tiny song;
With chords unreal, and words t'at were not long;

When winds are gurgling and my fantasy is torn;
I still wantest to think but of Thee alone;
The verses of love t'at hath long been gone;
Leaving me deathlike, and breathless on my own;

My blood is again thirsting for Thy love;
Whose enemy hath been dishonest all t'ese years;
When I boweth to th' floor and looketh again at Thee above;
Within my chaste gown, I recalleth my prudent inward tears;

Tears t'at hath never real faded, nor waned;
Tears t'at hath hitherto kept me all sane;
Thy verses of love made me once more feel loved;
And healed my congested soul t'at was sorely halved;

Within my heart dwelleth but one lump of scars;
But all t'ese years I'th known Thou art ne'er t'at far;
With Thee only, my past regrets might just seemeth fatuous;
My whining heart cometh relieved, and my virtues turneth joyous;

Ah, Thee, Lord of th' Worlds and of nights and days;
Ah, Thee, Whose verses are prettier than what we hear;
Ah, Thee, Whose Light is tenderer than any poems I might say;
Ah, Thee, Who ruleth but alive and always stayeth here;

Ah, Thee, Who engendered earth, hell, and heaven;
Ah, Thee, Who tamest wild souls, and enlightenest the chosen;
Ah, Thee, under Whom enemies canst be our best friends;
Ah, Thee, under Whom misery canst be glad, and hearts are patient;

Ah, Thee, by Whom an infant shall healthily grow;
Ah, Thee, by Whom days shall fade, and be braced for tomorrow;
Ah, Thee, by Whom th' luminous shall win and as ever glow;
Ah, Thee, Who always listeneth and heareth and ceaseth not to know;

I praiseth Thee and Thee only with joy;
I claimeth my blessings and honour to Thy Prophets;
Thy delight is th' sweetest t'is life canst employ;
Thee, by Whom I was created--and by Whose Mercy I am fed.

And I boweth again and again to the floor;
I criest my deepest tears, and cite t'ose anew from th' core;
Thy verses of love t'at were once then thwarted;
But as I ever know, Thou shalt always leave my heart rewarded.
Liquidchaos Sep 2010
Lets take a seat now because we're going to start rocking the boat,
and you might not want to be on your feet.
Lord knows I knock people off them enough when I start taking swipes.
Someone has to shake society from the roots they've set,
and well why not a ****** white girl that thinks they've all got
sticks so far up there back if they were remove why they'd be croooked!

What in the name of something is with all these young folks
behind my generation that doesn't know what they've got?
Like they've been there,
Done that and done them?
I mean come on idiots who ***** like they're sixty years old,
your stilll in highschool thinking it so hard for you?!
You haven't open your eyes to the world yet and
you already want to say you hate it.
Lord I would love to go back to school again,
put the time I should've into school and
have a slightly easier life because my folks cared.

Don't you know that once you leave the nest
its going to be hard to have to return once again?
WAKE THE **** UP ALREADY!
You have the ideal life already for yourself,
only having to worry about education and food..
When you get into this world let me tell you,
its not going to take it lightly just because your some rich *******'s get.
The world will eat you alive if you don't wake up soon my child,
so put up your knives and stop having your blood go to waist.
Mommy and Daddy are taking care of you
so ride the train for a little while longer as you can..
when I look at you
as I do
i see questions in your eyes

your lips move with sounds
in a foreign language

I do not know
are we living,
you and i
on uneven days,
each with our own story

*
your cold, thin fingers
grab my hand, and i wonder

do you want to feel me
do you want to see me
or are you stilll
looking at yourself

surrounded by a fragile world
captured by your restless mind
Emm Oct 2017
In the old grand Cathedral
Down by the City Hall
Across the buzzing lively street
The place where we'd meet

Birds chirping signifying the new day...
My new dawn with you
Until the break of dawn...

Then balloons, --big white balloons across the sky...
A magnificent view
In the shimmering glistening sun,
the cooling breezy wind,
The crisp autumn air...
Laughters and cheer,
--those wedding bells!
Do you hear those beautiful tower bells?...
My billowing gown...
And doves, --doves flapping their wings...! Up and beyond,
gazing to the future...

...

I wish we're getting married today...

...

But we're not,...
You left me months ago...
and now my mind draws blank,
for another one to fill,
an empty space where your arm used to link mine,
as how we should've walk...
... the aisle, ...
under the stares of our beloved...

And you're not coming back, I know...
Stilll I wish, I wish, that were getting married today...

It's not the promise you break,
but it's my heart and soul you do break...
RyanMJenkins Apr 2016
Low in the depths of tar-pit lungs
Teeter tottering on words stilll unsung
Dreading bother thinking I can't add up to the sum
Treading water with the head above to breathe by the beat of the drum
Reflecting all of life even when the thought of existence stung
Already rebirthed a few times at 25 years young
And I'm not done
I know it's just my heart by all the switching of the rhythms
Haven't yet lost sight of land, therefore I must keep swimming
Slipping through ripples of time, knowing we're only just beginning.
Blessed to have seen the sun set but now darkness reigns king.
Serve the mind for entrapment, where are you taking me?  No, wait hold up where are you taking me?
A cold cell mold confine hell-bent on destruction
As soul sits with patience until we're ready for instruction


Is this life a cavernous abyss, or buoyant brilliance stuffed with unfolding bliss?
Loosening our grips throwing caution to the wind
For at our rest date we can smile about all we actually did


Vining my way through a period of construction.
Acquisition with reduction
ThisCurrent position holds no grin
When ya gotta weak spine slumped so thin caught in the midst of a mental tailspin intertwining the connections as another whirlwind - lesson
Holes were punched in for memory's retention.
Acknowledging the unknown came with clairvoyant introspection
And conscious intention management
Be aware of body language and how you translate it
Moments sink like the rock that skipped over lake waves.  
Dare to act now and not be afraid
Be an aid to humanity and ultimately yourself for we are the space within everything once the oneness has been felt
The weather has helped.
...And so in it I delve
for ive already slipped through hell
and honestly im quite glad I fell
Flames fueled us enough to embrace our hold
While Rain soaks the soul for us to flower and grow
Rise up from below to experience the mighty breeze blow
Your trials through the dirt allow the light to show

Apollo wants to see your glow
Let go and tap into the flow, present tense beauty forward into the unknown

But if you don't break out of your shell how are you to ever know?

Is this life a cavernous abyss, or buoyant brilliance stuffed with unfolding bliss?
Loosening our grips throwing caution to the wind
For at our rest date we can smile about all we actually did


(€€Fool you will never be good enough,
Should have stayed in school
Remain obedient to your masters
Your ocean is really a pool
Your attempts to peer past the hollowgram Have been deemed uncool
Get back in line and enjoy life as a tool€€

Sir you got me a all wrong,
Let'***** the brakes for a second
Pull off onto the shoulder for a moment to be reflective.
Your energy is scattered, the gears are wearing thin.  When's the last time you sat alone and sought answers from within?
No matter, there is time now to begin.
Conscious living is by no means an accident
I appreciate the time you've already spent
But I must ask
What is the tale of your means to an end?
The answer is rhetorical, but I am here for you as a friend.
so if black people
enslaved white people
for 250 years
then let them be ex-slaves
in the name of liberty
under a hand written
signed constitution
to stilll labor
for the excitement of killing
impunity
****** superiority
lives of infinite compromise
less than possible to survive
constantly *****
and killed for being white
legally
by black and white women in uniforms
with badges
insurance
familes
anger and impunity
******* in their minds
chains and slave ships
designed for their efficient torture
then racism would matter to them
and they would help us
but then we wouldn't need help
they would
http://www.amazon.com/Escape-Liberty-Elan-Gregory-ebook/dp/B01B8XQYBG?ie=UTF8&keywords;=elan%20gregory&qid;=1459178234&ref;_=sr_1_1&sr;=8-1
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2011
the pages are blank bulk and empty.
my mind.
forced with the temptation to reminsce
on the joys and smiles that we shared
made with the memories
ill treasure for ever
in the dreams ill dream upon slumber.

you are stilll apart of me every single day
and behind the miles apart and the struggles and tests we haved faced together; a friendship built upon trust and chance ruined; forever my greatest regret.
Kimmy-Nichole Apr 2011
the pages are blank bulk and empty.
my mind.
forced with the temptation to reminsce
on the joys and smiles that we shared
made with the memories
ill treasure for ever
in the dreams ill dream upon slumber.

you are stilll apart of me every single day
and behind the miles apart and the struggles and tests we haved faced together; a friendship built upon trust and chance ruined; forever my greatest regret.
J Sep 2016
I tried to write a long piece
about missing you
still writing things about things we would do
the September fog wrapped me up like celafain
I tried to write a long piece
but my hands wouldn't stop shaking

I tried to write to you
and tell you how I've been
but a year later
and not much has happened
you moved on
I moved back
the city feels empty even with the world on my back

I tried to write a long piece
about liberation and hope
and how it gets better if you let it
but a year later,
and I still choke up

so I don't write anymore
I don't sleep anymore,
I don't look for love anymore
and that's something I have had to
learn to store away until the day
I stop missing you, stilll
I hate today, I hate myself,today is so hard
Ndolo Nov 2018
sometimes i forget you’re deaf--- yeah I know, my voice sometimes sounds like yours, but remember you’re seeing my cameo appearance

sign language gives me the ability to see what you feel, the nuances that makes you, you, and hopefully you see that in me too.

my eyes trace the curl of your lips, the lifts of your cheekbones, the crinkles of your eyes, Not because you’re pretty (tho Im sure you think you are), not because I'm creepy, but because it’s my method of carrying on conversations. In your eyes are where I find your words, the verity on your cheeks, the tone on your lips.

Seeing as I can do that, DO...YOOOUU...STILLL...NEEEED...TOOO...TAALLK....LIIKKEE...THIISS­? **** NO. Over-enunciation is a thing and I don’t need that *******. I’m deaf, not dumb.

When people ask me, “Did you hear that?!”......HAHAHAHAHHA

There’s also that moment when you can’t distinguish whether your mom’s yelling at you cuz she mad or cuz you can’t hear

One of the best moments ever is like when I turn on my hearing aids and I’m waiting, like I get this start-up music, like windows pc, right? And like whammo! It’s Claritin-HEAR.

That awkward moment when you’ve asked someone to repeat 4 times and you still don’t understand what they said... :/

Calling on the phone. Let me see if I can get you to visualize this:
Ring Ring. Picks up
Hello, may I know whom I’m speaking to?
-Yes, this ---- Im here to talk about---. Is-----ome?
What, can you repeat that?
-Yes of cou--- to talk about---
Wait, Wait. Hold on, let me get my sister.
-Why? It's not---
Here you go.
*Done with conversation

I’ve got other examples: there’s the African accent of my family and friends from Africa. There’s the too quiet, can’t possibly speak louder than a whisper, there’s the too fast for my shirt. There’s the simple phone call from the dispatcher/sales person...There’s too much confusion on both ends and frustration when people on the other end must think you’re rude for wasting their time. I just got to the point that I would sometimes ignore phone calls because I’m not in the mood to embarrass myself not hearing anything they say.
I created this as a way to capture all my frustrations about being Deaf. Hopefully this helps others understand the struggles of being Deaf and also to appreciate the irony and in hindsight, the hilarity of some these situations.

— The End —