I'm afraid to kiss you
to lock our lips
and taste you.
I'm afraid that I will love you
and then you will leave
like most men do.
I'm afraid it won't be enough
to make you stay
and that desire you've always had
will finally go away.
I'm afraid of the damage
you will do to me
before I finally
let you go.

It seems like i won't be able
to tell you the truth,
so I'm writing a letter
that I'll never send...
Stupid, right?

I guess I'm just scared
of my own feelings;
and it's not even that bad,
but i worry about your response

I'm going to confess something
because, as i said,
you won't read this and,
if you don't know about it,
I can be sure
you'll never tell a soul

I've been giving too many hugs lately...
My friends and family are surprised,
but they just take it
as a sign of love

I wish they weren't wrong,
trust me, i do;
sadly, they are

I embrace everyone around me,
even more than i did before,
because I've been trying
to replace your arms,
though I discovered that
it can't be done

Nobody's hugs
will feel as cozy as yours
and the thing is,
I think it's only
because i don't want them to

Actually, i don't wanna be hugged,
looked at, or kissed
if I'm not hugged,
looked at and kissed
by you

The worst part is
that i miss you 24/7
and i can do nothing about it

How could i,
when i keep thinking about you
as the boy who's too good
to me?

So here's what I'm gonna do:
I can't say all of that
to you directly,
I'm an idiot and I'm afraid,
but if you ever read this,
I promise I won't deny
the fact that your name
is hidden behind
all these words

The doctrine lines,
The white brick walls,
Coffee creeps,
We still drink,
Our tastes have just changed,
Who took the last of the ******* sugar?
It's been empty for weeks,
But mainstays stay, mainly,
Another 24 hours,
Some look less,
Another victim of violence visitation,
Rattling sign, the wind makes it's appearance,
We made it,
Johnboy the ****** tells aboot,
His momentum,
Taking his mom oot to dinner,
He wore his tattoos on his face,
One cheek said sin, the other, ner,
Shakey Sam comes every meow and then,
Saying nothing has changed again,
Lights are flickering,
While Jesus Jane is on another rant,
You know, aboot Jesus and whatnot,
Atheist Jocoby just groans,
The coffee is a bit burnt,
So is my tongue,
New cats, alley cats,
Dogs and birds,
I couldn't tell you which one I am,
Emergency alarms a buzzing all around,
We just turn down the sound,
As it's another go round,
to speak,
I'm James and I'm an alcoholic,
Hi James,
Turn over turn on,
Hold hands with scumbags turned saints,
All because of the fire we got from a drink,
A smoke,
A burnt down life turned to building,
We hug once again,
And step ootside,
Open door policy,
And fire in the sky is there waiting,
Some run,
Some cry,
Shakey Sam wonders aloud,
Will his dealer deliver,
****** Johnboy calls his mom,
Jesus Jane prays,
And Atheist Jocoby drives away,
I put the sign back on the door,
And make a new ***,
I want to hear that story,
Of how that newcomer once got shot,
By a disgruntled **** in San Francisco bay,
At least I don't need a drink today.

I have searched
and deeply looked
within the depths
and heights of the
firmaments,
I can't find what's
not in your heart
for the glorious
power of the
Almighty
has taken away
all the gross
matter away.
Your existence
created the
atmosphere
of miracles
made to heal
and protect
from the unnecessary
harrowing
experience of life.
Seen all over you
is the beauty of
heavenly creation
adorned with so much
love and glory.
The mere ignorance
of the world flees
before you
for the power beyond
the ordinary has broken
the yoke of ******* in you.
It's power cannot take
root inside you
or put you in any shameful
and uncomfortable situation.
Besides you are strengthened
by your brokenness
to withstand any form
of negative influence.
©2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.

I saw myself in a wide green garden, more beautiful than I could begin to understand. In this garden was a young girl. I said to her, "How wonderful this place is!"

"Would you like to see a place even more wonderful than this?" she asked.

"Oh yes," I answered. Then taking me by the hand, she led me on until we came to a magnificent palace, like nothing that was ever seen by human eyes. The young girl knocked on the door, and someone opened it. Immediately both of us were flooded with light.

Only Allah knows the inner meaning of the maidens we saw living there. Each one carried in her hand a serving-tray filled with light. The young girl asked the maidens where they were going, and they answered her, "We are looking for someone who was drowned in the sea, and so became a martyr. She never slept at night, not one wink! We are going to rub funeral spices on her body."

"Then rub some on my friend here," the young girl said.

"Once upon a time," said the maidens, "part of this spice and the fragrance of it clung to her body -- but then she shied away."

Quickly the young girl let go of my hand, turned, and said to me:

"Your prayers are your light;
Your devotion is your strength;
Sleep is the enemy of both.
Your life is the only opportunity that life can give you.
If you ignore it, if you waste it,
You will only turn to dust."

Then the young girl disappeared

Stronger, but not invincible
Hidden, but not invisible
Unclear, but not unaware
Careful,
          but no longer care.