A lot has happened lately
I've had my heart broken
Torn
Sewn back together by unfamiliar hands
Torn and worn out
But the moment I saw you
My heart healed itself
I let out a sigh of relief
As if I've been holding my breath this whole time
I felt safe and secure after feeling vacant and misplaced
I saw you and I couldn't hold back
I saw you and an ocean of tears streamed down my face
You will always feel like home to me

You're sitting across from me and all I can think of is how your lips would feel against mine.
You get up to sit next to me and I can almost see my chest rising and falling so fast that I begin to think if you've noticed, too.
You stare at me in a way that gets me all chocked up.
You brush your fingers through my hair and the feeling of your fingertips on my neck is so familiar.
Hold me close, and tell me you still love me.
Tell me not a day has gone by, since we've stopped talking, where you haven't loved me.
Tell me that even though you hate me for all the times I've hurt you, you will still hold me.
Hold me, and never let me go.

You were an effervescent bubble on your bad days
A delicate touch, a whiff and you would burst into tiny unwanted droplets
Ruining the beauty of the view
Leaving us astray

you tell me i don't love you
you tell me i only love the idea of you
my mind doesn't flinch to the sound of that
i may love the idea of you
but i love you more than i have ever loved myself

i look for your face between the crowd every morning
even though we don’t talk anymore
you still feel like home to me

i think about you every morning
on the way to school
during classes
on the way back home
and every night

you will always feel like home to me

I want to talk to you. Tell you how I feel, blurt it all out.
And I know you’d understand, but I am bereft of courage.
I feel a sudden wave of sadness, one that requires no medium.
One that is impulsive and violent.
I don’t want to talk to you, I want you to see right through me.

My mind, an ocean of thoughts
You, a voyager, courageous and patient

I wreck my mind, searching for the worst parts of you to write about
I want so bad to feel nothing but resentment towards you
To erase everything good you have ever done
To pretend that you were anything but good to me
To convince myself that you are the antagonist in the story that is my life
To say it was you who broke my heart, despite how incomplete it was when you found it
I fail to think of anything unpleasant to write about you
For your presence was the most divine gift life had given me
So I come up with lies, in hopes of convincing myself (if not everyone else)
In hopes of restoring my desire to continue to exist without you
In hopes of averting an impending calamity

I managed to look away every time our paths crossed.
You were running late that day, and your friend had saved you a spot one seat away from me.
One seat closer to me.
My heart an overheated chamber, my mind a chaotic library of thoughts, I panicked and got up.
Anywhere, but here.
Anywhere, but next to you.

Your kindness has made me fall in love with the person you are.
Your sensitivity has taught me patience,
and your presence brought everlasting joy into my life.
I haven't spoken a word of how I feel to you,
and my heart has already sided with you.
You're pulling the strings to my heart, using it;
an instrument to compose your own symphony.
I never liked symphonies.

You walk into the classroom and a light breeze brushes up against my skin.
I can breathe again.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm letting you in
Why can't you?

Coffee stains
Ink on paper
Achy flames
A heavy-hearted painter

I like to think I am a bundle of positivity and realism
A whirlwind that finds comfort in its own destruction
A wave that is fueled by its own attainment
Agitated and moved by convection
A wave colored in using the bright colors of life's serenity and the dusky colors of life's adversity
Leaving the world bereft of resentment

It's safe to say the thought of your lips has conquered my mind.
One day, I'll get over you and next thing you know, I'm pressing rewind.
I don't want this to end, ever.
So let's be the best of our kind.
Humans have proved selfishness and brought disgrace to mankind.
You know I don't like my requests denied,
so just let me into your mind.

I've got no friends where the sidewalk ends.

I usually think of people in a way that they're not.
Once I get to know them, I realize it is a glitch of thought.
They're not as majestic, or perhaps my imagination is just so unrealistic.
You, however, seem to match the figure I've made for you.
Same shades, or perhaps a slightly better color.

You are both my purpose and my audience.

They strive for acceptance
confusing it with their own
They persist, insist on being relentless
throwing themselves into the unknown

My eyes hurt and I wonder what it's like to be blind
I try to imagine a world without you, but it's inconceivable
I go on, I wonder why life is so cruel and unkind
The thought of you distracts me,
you're the reason this air is breathable

My heart aches when I think of you.

I know what I want,
But I'm not sure it's what you want, too.
It's almost obvious,
the whole world thinks I'm in love with you.
What you do to me,
boy, do they have no clue.
I don't want to show them what you're like
or why my eyes light up every time I see you.
I'll just keep it to myself
until I figure out what to do.

Our love is different, our love is a purity that cannot be ruined by sharing it with others.
Our love is you and me pretending to know what we're doing.
Our love is fighting over silly things and making out to make up.
Our love is questions we can't find answers to.
Our love is doing things searching for a connection, and spending the rest of the time disconnecting.
Our love is buying followers bigger than our mistakes.
But our love has survived the seven-year mark, we must be soulmates.

the years     slip     by
& i don’t know
how it happened
but there you were
and there we were
in a world
that makes no sense without
your laughter
and your silence
and your eyes (they always
make me forget time)
we’ve lived
in moments that fall
like raindrops,
softly,
quietly,
but they are ours—
and in this life,
i think we made something
that’s too big
for years
or clocks or words
to hold.

ten years & still
there’s only you
there’s only me
there’s only us
and what comes next
is whatever we make of it
(we always do,
don’t we?)