I was in a train
when this old woman looked across
with a confused look.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing over here?"
she said,
her voice trailing with the
jam of stinky
half-brained men.
"My father has passed away. I am here to meet him."
Her face crumpled,
like her tongue had encountered
a sour taste
like her body
had touched dirt,
like her brain managed
to get hold of her daughters darkest secrets.
"I'm sorry" she said, letting out
the sour smell of judgement.
But she wasn't.
She wasn't sorry.
She was an old woman with sunglasses
to hide her scanning eyes,
an old woman with a mask of makeup to hide
the scars of revolution.
She was a stranger.
"You're not really sorry." I said, realizing how I
became her,
a young bag of judgements.

I can stare at a tree a million times,
and see a familiar composition within each.
Roots,
Trunk,
Branches,
Leaves.
It's composition has no surprise
to my eyes because  
It's been the same
my whole life.
But if i look at it,
this one time.
Can i see a tree,
standing tall with branches
reaching out like desperate arms
to proceed past the canopy
in which it's elders have previously formed.
Can i see the bark,
tightly hugging its intricate insides
to protect like a fortified city
that expands and grows stronger
as each day passes by it's walls.
Can i see the leaves,
Dancing with the wind
with a beautiful alliance
to exchange it's touch
with a breath of oxygen to fill my lungs.
Can i see the fullness of life it bears,
As it only proceeds through the
construct of natural inspiration.
Perfect in all it does,
Because it only does
What it is meant to do.
May I live
As this tree i see.

You should get an Abortion.

It's for the best.

Your life is a wreck,
and you shouldn't want to
invite a child into your mess.
You're eighteen and homeless.
That's too young
to deal with all of this.
You can barely keep a hold
of yourself,
A kid would just make it worse.
It's time to just accept that.*

Those words were once meant for you, mom.
But, for some reason
you didn't listen.
You ignored their logic
and chose to battle through the pain.

You didn't give up.  
You fought on.
Got a car, a job, an apartment,
and a way out
of all the things that controlled you.

You didn't give up.
You knew you could be a better person,
and a worthy parent.
Because instead of being
constrained to your past
You used each mistake as a lesson
that slowly started to give you strentgh.

You didn't give up.
You believed in yourself
When no one else did,
and formed your own
path which,
inch by inch,
lead you farther from your fears
and closer to that moment
when you were able to sit
in the auditorium
and watch me graduate with the words
Thank you Jesus
ringing in the back of your head.
(I know they were)

You never gave up,
and look at us now, mom.
Look where we are.
It's a miracle.
We conquered all the odds
and ignored the logic.

Because you never gave up.

I want to be like you.
To face my trials
without any fear.
And when they tell me
to just give up.
To accept defeat.

I won't.

Because you didn't.

depression depression depression

Stop it.

Leave.

I is me and
you are you.
Seperate from identity
yet your lies root to my core.
I can't help but listen as
gravity gradually seems heavier
and
heavier.

You can feed on me
that's fine.
Distort my reality
and take my smile.
But you will never take my hope.

The endless source behind the
Truth
Of my soul.
You'll never cease the
I in me.

So form each woe,
but forever is my soul.
Endureth this universe.

Go ahead.

Take me.

depression depression depression