Lord, I am trying to find my way.
Where do you best see me fit in the real world?
Thinking about it this much makes me want to hurl.
I know I just have to find my way, it takes time, and you will lead me.
But sometimes I get anxious and i wish you could just reveal to me what to do..
I guess im impatient but God I ask you, teach me not to be.
Teach me to be like you.

God, listen to my voice.
Watch my mouth and the way i speak my words.
Feel my heart, the way I am true in what I am about to say.
I want to honor you Lord.
Tell me, what can I be for you?
What do you want me to do?
If I knew I would do it.
I want to spend eternity with you God.
Tell me how can I be worthy?
I want to touch lives in your name.
God help me hear you, help me see beauty in the little things.
I love you daddy, my real father.
I love you, I love you, I love you,
I give u praise.

I'm sorry
For feeling like this
I'm sorry for having a loving heart
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you're so easy to love
I'm sorry you're so easy to fall for
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for falling for you
I'm so sorry for wanting you how you don't want me
I'm sorry

I was once introduced to a beautiful violence. I craved the way his mouth would leave bruises on my skin, these bruises reminded me of infinities , dark and twisted.

I wanted to engrave my name into his flesh forever.

I liked how he touched me, his hands didn't gently brush over my skin , he embraced my whole body harshly.

I wanted to pierce my nails into his skin forever.

I desired his aggressive approach and how he often called me **** instead of beautiful.

I enjoyed feeling desired.
And I wanted to feel it forever.

If I were to die
Later, tomorrow, or now
Would anyone care?
Will my death affect the world?

I know it will
Though I may be hated at home

I know
There is someone out there
Who's willing to hear me out

I can't give up yet
Because I'd rather be miserable
Than, make the person who loves me miserable
I can still live another day