Rhianecdote

Rhianecdote Apr 2015

I think of the first guy who let me down
Just as his Ex came back to town
And though I can have a laugh
and joke with him now
I will never see him in the same light
ever since that night
Out of cowardice he thought it was alright
After knowing me for a good part of my life
To do me like he did
I guess I dodged a bullet...

But not for long
Tell em how you really feel
And they run

But when you can't be direct
You lose my Respect
And I don't think
That anyone has ever
Won it back

And when you can't be straight up
You forfeit my Trust
And I know for a fact
That nobody has ever
Gained that back
Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever will

And I don't know if this is due to my lack
of understanding, or any hurt that I feel
But I doubt it cause I was born to relate
Tread the emPATHy
But I find it winding and tiring of late
But what is the other option?
Hate?
No, I just wasn't made for that

So I seek to understand the reasoning
And see if this should lead
to an acceptance of the action
Whether it's a justification
For the jagged fragments I stand upon
of all that can be shattered in a fraction
cause we all make Mistakes right?

My prison is a prism of insight
I constantly have to negotiate
One I wish I could crack
But I guess if I'm Bound to the Rebound
I'll always bounce back

Hey **, Old skool garage will help.
*Plays* Oxide and Neutrino - Bound for the Reload

#love #life #forgiveness #forget #thought #emotion #understanding #letdown #bonds #rebound

Rhianecdote Apr 2015

Company Policy

I'm Lost amongst the Lost
Surrounded by the dumbfounded
Asking for direction but no one knows the way
Trying to focus in an intoxicated state
Scrambling through the crowds
To find a way out instead of through
Drifting further and further away
from the truth
Growing aloof and resentful
Sticking with the stuck
At a standstill
I choose to stand still
STOP
And stare at these people all over the place
These all over the place people
Going 100 miles per hour
But heading nowhere fast
Close eyes
And realise that this way of life ain't for me
Trapped in a vat of social distraction
Too long stuck on repeat
Tired by the tedium
I harbour some eMotion
Sidestep the commotion
But unlike so many
I'm no Escapee...

**I just aim to Break Free
So I can get back to being Me

I hope one day soon to find the balance between being sociable and focused. I think it really depends on the people you surround yourself with and if the company you keep help you to grow and progress. I'm surrounded by a lot of loveable yet apathetic and lost people at this moment in time that I'm sure are destined for better things if only they'd get started (me included lol) sometimes you just gotta break off and do your own thang rather than get caught up in it all. I reached that point quite some time ago now, procrastination just isn't an option anymore.

#heart #social #friendship #change #head #tired #clarity #bonds #focus #crowd

Rhianecdote Apr 2015

First Class

Are firsts important?

I think that they are.

They mark a moment of courage

A moment of faith

A change

An experience that can shape

Your whole world view

You know I waited till 22

To change my mind

On being alone

Only to find

I would have waited

22 years more

Not to discover

What being alone

In that sense

Actually meant

And that's the truth of a bad day

But just how important are firsts really?

Firsts do not mean best necessarily

Firsts form a starting point

And once you start you may as well carry on

They're A foundation to build upon

A lesson to learn from

You know I waited till 22

To take risks, to raise the stakes

That meant I would make mistakes

Only to find

I wish I hadn't waited 22 years

When I saw how much progress can be generated

When you face your fears

All of which I wouldn't have discovered

*If I had continued to run away

And though I have my days of disdain, where I feel I've done nothing but backtrack, purely for the gains made I don't think I'd take those choices back. I showed such courage and for that I deserve to regain the confidence I now lack.

#love #life #faith #courage #contemplation #confidence #importance #lesson #choices #firsts

Rhianecdote Apr 2015

Love Shy

The moment I felt embarrassed

After sayin those three words

I knew

You wasn't the one

I should be sayin them to

... and it's funny cause
The moment I felt embarrassed
When I saw you
Was also the moment I knew
I liked you

I guess things come full circle eh
Hey **, quite a sobering moment. You've gotta laugh. Sometimes I wonder if I even meant it

#love #shy #clarity #embarrassment

Rhianecdote Apr 2015

Elective Mutism

I no longer wanna be a hypocrite

So I no longer wanna **talk

What you do says more than what you say

#hypocrisy #speech #action #moan

Rhianecdote Apr 2015

Tread a Different aPATHy

Cause an Apathetic person

Is one space away from

being A Pathetic person

this is probably the most frustrating trait that anybody can possess. It's the trait that I hate the most in myself and in others