If your Heart's not in it

There's only so long

your Head will hold out..

But in the end all of
what passed between us
is just part of the bigger pic
as you got to know me
better than most and ended it,
preferred me as a stranger
so estranged is where i sit,
Bench Warmer the perfect fit,
Was I Bench Warmer till you found your perfect fit?

There was a time yours
meant a lot to me,
but now they run
over and over
in my mind
on repeat,
haunting me.
Like a hit and run driver,
tax disk empty.
Is that what all
those deep words
filling up
my glass were?
Empty.
Cruel how words last centuries.

I had a panic attack today.
Woke up with that feeling of dread
And I couldn't move.
Tried to change the thoughts running through my head
Still I couldn't move
So I cried
As I laid there convinced I was about to die
Cause it was the only thing I could do to know I was still *alive

It's cool though
Cause I know
That once I'm in a better place
What you've done or what you do
Will be irrelevant in my headspace

I'll find my State of Grace.