Too perfect
To let you go

To happy
To cry

Too special
All this time
I'm spending with you

Too sad
to say goodbye

Too late
To leave

Too much fun
So you stay with me

Too in love
To not tell you
I'm in love with you

"you've gotten bigger."
you say to me
as we eat at the same tree
that we have eaten at since grade 7.

"your hair looks horrible"
you say to me
as we get ready to go
to his party.

"your acne is coming back"
you say to me
as we get ready for prom
and our dates.

and one day
i skip lunch
and you ask why
and i shrug.

and one day
i curl my hair for the first time
and you as why
and i shrug.

and one day
i wear lots of make up
and you ask why
and i shrug.

but that night
i slit my wrist
and swallowed pills
instead of dressing up.

why you might ask?
because i'm horrendous
inapplicable
disgusting.

don't you remember
the days you reminded me?
well here you go.

I feel like you're fading away
and nobody'll see you again.
I'll never hear your deep voice.
I'll never hear you laugh.
I'll never hear or see you.

I feel like the angels are singing a sad song tonight
because i think i can hear them
and their voices bring me hope.
They make me feel like not everything is lost.

But sometimes i feel like it's not you that's fading,
it's me.
I am the person who is being aloof.
The one that got away and threw all the memories
deep in my mind, hoping that i won't ever remember them.

But i do and i feel like i am being torn into pieces.
I miss you.
And i want you back.

Zombie, zombie, who were you?
Zombie, zombie, were you a human once?
Zombie, zombie, why are there so many people like you?

Human, human, i was a person once.
Human, human, i used to dream.
Human, human, but people treathed me like **** and i am one now.

Don't ever fall in love with a poet
because they will indeed admire and watch your every move
they will write about how the pen marks on the side of your palm when you write
don't ever because they will trace
every single freckle you have on your face and
write about the color of each and every one of them and
describe how they smile so brightly under the sunlight
they will want you to want to know every little thing about them
even if it's just what hand they write with and want you
to be wondering why they write with that specific hand when in
reality it doesn't even matter

the poet will watch the way you dig
your eyes onto that book and your small quick remarks onto the 26 letters all crumpled together and will know that everyday at 5:28 p.m. you smile

they will look deeply into your eyes
to see if they can at least take a little
peak of your soul and they will write
about you like if you were the only
thing they see good in this world

they will want to know what you think
about when you look at them and
see if you also count each and
every freckle and hope and write  
that you do but they will
love you endlessly and they will
show you that they love you and only you

but don't date a poet if you aren't
capable to watch them and
admire their imperfections
when they sleep late at night
beside you.

j.f

You're back.

But I'm not really here anymore.

My whole life i've wanted to be a loving mother,
To take care of my kids,
Buy them books and sing them to sleep.
My whole life i've wanted a loving family
A family that won't make me cry
An understanding husband
that will take care of our kids when i die.

But once i found my own mother crying in the corner
and not being able to breathe because of the pain
that my father gave her.
And in that moment i realized that the perfect family
does not exist. I won't find the perfect husband
or have the most polite kids if i don't make them so.

My whole life i've been telling to myself
"you are just a kid, you don't understand"
But the truth is that i do understand.
I've felt pain for dozen lifes.
Yes, I am kid but i aim at the best
And hope is the one that dies last.