There lies a sixteen year old ******* the floor
The life slowly fading from her cheeks
Her chest no longer rising and falling in a sine.
Her mother walks in only to find her daughter took the oath of self destruction.
The screams of pure terror signal her husband who approaches the scene with no words.
Trying to assess the chaos around him, he spots a small note sitting on the corner of her bed.
With shaking hands he picks it up and begins to read the last words of his daughter on the blood stained paper.
"To Mom and Dad: I love you both dearly but I couldn't stay. I couldn't stand it any longer. The inside now matches the out. I was already gone, dead inside. I hate for you to see me like this. Just know that I'm happier now. I'm at peace, resting in peace. Please don't cry, please don't be sad. I look forward to the day in which I see your smiling faces and you once again see mine. I'll see you up in paradise. I love you. All 3 of you... I'm sorry."
Her father drops the note as his legs fall out from under him
Waves of horror flood his mind follows by shock sinking his emotions
Confusion followd by tears overwealmed him.
He internally demanded to know where he had went wrong instantly blaming himself.
And when he lost his little girl.
She was his whole world, the center of his universe.
But now his world was gone, his bright and shining star collapsed on itself.
It was still there but only physically.
Pale and gray. The only color being the red oozing from slits that covered its arms and legs.
His universe had been destroyed, seemingly strong but as fragile as glass
It shattered into a million pieces
No wishing or praying could ever put theose pieces back together.
In a hopeless despair he sat with his wife clutched in his arms and they cried an endless waterfall of tears.

And I have seen the wrong
Of these dark thoughts
And the red remains of silver
And bloodied eyes

And chilled to the bone
Lays my smile
The one that always had to be forged
To survive the abyss

No wonder I feel so cold and dead inside
It’s hard and petrified
Unhopeful
And impure

We live in a society full of insecurity
Red lips
Dark eyes
Fake tan.
Forced smiles
Closed eyes
Clenched fists,
Show no weakness
Show no mercy
Small hands on pale stomachs
Eyes constantly searching for ways to rid that extra pound
That extra curve
**** in
Deep breath
Back straight
Every calorie counts.
Is this really the world that we live in?
Is this the life that we wish to lead?
Our lives are no longer determined by the way that we think
They are not dedicated to achieving our dreams
To pursuing our goals
No
The way that we live is based upon the way that we look
And thus, the way that we are treated
We are always going to compare ourselves to another
That is a given
If we don't look good then we aren't happy
Right?
But for others to determine the fates of ourselves depending strictly upon a template of "perfection"?
Perfection is a disease
The very aspect of it plagues your mind
Inhabits your soul
And brings upon an individual an idea of something to achieve
That is nearly impossible to achieve
It is a roller coaster that only goes down
A concoction that only leads to inevitable heartache and pain
A poison that has no known cure
And it hurts
Perfection hurts.

ever heard of teen depression?
i'd say its more like obsession.

what kind of obsession, you say?
hurting oneself just to feel okay.

but that's just one of them,
look it up if you give a ****.

for i am sure you know of not,
because its something that can't be taught.

I want to **** myself
Everyday
Every hour
Every second
And yet I haven't
Because every time the thought occurs
The aftermath seems to play out in my head

I don't want to be
the acknowledgment at the beginning
of a book i'll never read
  to my sister
  to my friend
  to my lover
  gone to soon
  i wish you could read this

I don't want to be
the sad news story that everyone hears
and wishes it weren't real
  a 17 year old
  young and bright
  lots of friends
  left behind family
  greatly missed amongst us all

I don't want to break
my already broken family
even if they are breaking me
  lost a sister
  lost a cousin
  lost a daughter
  sadness engulfs them all
  two families split back to four

I want to leave
And I'll never believe
The world loves me so much
That it will stop in place
Because I take my life
But even if
It's only half the truth
This idea of the aftermath
That would occur
Should I stop my breathing
I'll keep breathing
In
Out
In
Out
Just to see the world continue turning

-r.y.s

At parties or at school,
Where everybody enjoys,
She sits in a corner with shiny eyes,
That shine is a gloomy tear,
Full of darkness and despair!

I have lost myself,
While trying to be someone else,
Someone I can not be,
Something I can not do
I lost the peace, once I had
I lost the good in me
I lost my identity
I lost my personality
I don't know how to get it all back
I don't know how to get the old me