your skin on mine;
we lie here

with fingers interlaced
and our eyes locked
then with legs intertwined
and my head cocked
in the crook of your neck

here is where i feel safest;
my skin on yours

i wish i had said no to you
i think about it all the time

i can’t let [ it ] go
i wish i could forget
( if i don’t think about it, it won’t hurt.. right? )

i swear i had said no to you
maybe you just didn’t wanna hear it

i can still feel your hands on me
i wish i had made you listen
( pretending something didn’t happen doesn’t make it so )

i took pills instead of chances
i thought i was healed
but this is only the beginning

there’s no failing
it’s a process
slow progress is still progress

forgive yourself
keep going
keep g r o w i n g

hurt as long as you need to
hurt as LOUD as you need to

do you ever get depressed
not knowing what’s coming next
not able to undo the past
despite your efforts the good won’t last

smoking every day making my life hazy
cuffed in place with these chains of daisies

folding playing cards when i didn’t used to
it’s the little things that make me miss you

i look at you and
my heart begins to flutter wildly
creating a certain heat inside of me, beneath my skin
my heart swells and swells
until it bursts, ripping my chest open and spraying my guts
against the surrounding walls in a thin layer of glittering entrails

a masterpiece of carnage and gore
practically glistening in the morning sunlight
so dazzling, i barely even notice the smell of my sizzling flesh
as the golden sun rays rain down on my ruptured organs,
transforming them into a puddle of bubbling crimson brew

my legs turn numb and i collapse to the floor
in a pile of bones and blood

oh how you make me MELT .

she'd found a reason to keep going
for the meantime anyways
but the months are ticking by
and I think she's lost her way

see, her eyes they've stopped a-sparkling
and her skin is growing pale
she walks around half cloaked in smoke
and reeking of cheap ale

~

she met a boy
who did her wrong
she doesn’t know
how she’ll go on
without him, there’s something lost
but how can you lose what never was?

downing pills; oxycontin candy
she’s going numb but feeling dandy
eyes grow heavy, pulse begins to drop
the silence is deafening
waiting for her heart to stop
the hours tick by with no end in sight
left questioning whether she even did it right

woke up in a tub of ice
no surprise, it’s already happened twice
fingertips turned a pale blue hue
blood stains on the covers spell[ing] out “i love you”
bodiless whispers echo through the halls
broken light fixtures and blood on the walls
open windows calling out to her (me)
urging her on to set herself (myself) free

why cant i forget you
i thought i’d finally put you out of my mind
i don't love you anymore
i wish i could leave your memory behind

i think about you more than i’d like to admit

when will i stop dreaming of you?

will i be homesick forever?