My mind is a
kaleidoscope of
Worries and hopes
In different colors
Various scopes-
All not seen by
The ordinary,
Openly now free,
To the load I once
Carried.

I was freshly turned 17, you were freshly turned 21.
I didn't know you ***** me at the time, but I now know for sure.
I was madly in love with another woman, frustrated I wasn't getting her.
So you saw an opportunity to teach me the birds and the bees.
Yet you were still a stranger to me.
How could I say no with my raging hormones?
Didn't think that desire would burn into my bones
Never expected an addiction to make its home in me.
In between these years I'm still within that sphere
Another one night stand, another *** buddy, another thrill that kills a part of me.
I bet you didn't think that your in-between-boyfriends-plaything would start doing what you did to me.
Except now I despise myself when I realized I take advantage of my playthings... maybe ***** someone like you ***** me.
I don't blame you, though. I only blame myself.
I'm trying to forgive you, like I'm learning to forgive myself.

When I believed in monsters
And hid under my bed from the tooth fairy
Back in the days of lizard chasing for hours
Fall was the best season.
Fall was everything and everything was Fall.
The seas of leaves, Falling down, scraping knees
The feel of  the breeze and tire swings hanging on oak trees taller than fear was deep.
Spring water tasted sweeter than sleep.
Dreams were no different from real life.

All was Fall.
Falling down, falling up.
Falling in, falling out, falling in-

You sometimes remind me of the skin I shed. Bit by bit with every trip.
Building better birdhouses. Bruises, scars, and callouses.
Falling down to the ground. Fall leaves all around.
Scraping knees raw. Growing back...and forth.
Growing in and out.
Falling.

Catching myself halfway in a reverie.
Coming out. Coming back into the house.
Coming up the hill, growing up still.
Feeling like falling in love wasn't real.

But you sometimes remind me



of when I thought it was

Living a viva loca
Drinking ***** and coca
On a fly *** sofa
Getting money like a broka
If life is a *****
Then I’ll pok-a-
hole in her game
Stop playing
I ain’t a lame
******* step out of line
You gotta put them in their lane
Just because both breathe air,
It dont make us the same
I’m different in a lotta of ways
Thats just putting in plain
What you been saving your whole life, dawg
I bet, I spent that in a day
These dream chasers
Chasing dreams
I dont let’em get away
There levels to this ****, dawg
I'll meet you at the top on my lowest day
And apply pressure like a break away
Moving up like stepping stones
Any Obstacles that step in
getting crushed along the way