I looked in the mirror,
And made a promise to a girl.

I told her not to be afraid,
I told her never to doubt herself.

She was trapped,
I told her she'd be free one day.

I told her not to worry,
That this world would be kind to her.

I told her I'd do anything to bring her here,
To let her escape.

She looked me right in the eyes,
And she smiled.

She smiled a beautiful smile,
Joyous, beaming, grinning.

She smiled a pure smile,
Not forced, not a hint of sadness.

She cried three tears,
Of unrelenting relief.

And she whispered back,
So quietly.

I got so close to the mirror,
My breath clouded over her lips.

She whispered,
I will be strong

And when I drew back,
The mist of my breath,
Formed a heart,
One heart,
Between the two of us.

No matter how perfectly they fit,
No matter how evenly I tighten them,
Something is always different,
Slightly,
It never quite matches up,
I always prefer my right boot.

Be safe,
On foreign ground,
Don't venture too far,
Away from home,
And if you hear me calling,
Please reply,
And let me know you're okay,
Then come home safe,
As soon as you can.

Kicked off computers,
Failed songs,
Drawing bees on arms,
Two sets of glasses,
Learning names,
Pulling out hair,
Confused by triangles,
Wearing white scarves,
Horror hangman,
Lighting techniques,
Stealing phones,
Trying to teach,
Laughing for no reason,
Creeping each other out,
Staying in late.

School - *"fuduckulous"

Mental block,
Mental snap,
Confusion,
What's real?
Who am I?
"Freak"
The whispers,
I take to be truth,
And cry.

In a moment,
All things may balance,
All words and purpose,
Align,
To keep stress,
Below the threshold.

Or

They may reach,
Breaking point,
And all the pressure,
Cracks,
Along the fault lines,
And reveal the turmoil beneath.

As I scrolled through my feed,
I saw commitments,
I saw pledges of,
Support,
And love,
I saw,
Excitement,
I felt the sense of success,
Relief,
And utter joy.

To those who came out,
Well done for having the,
Confidence,
Courage,
And trust,
To be honest.

To those who are still hiding,
Take you're time,
When you're ready,
I hope you too,
Will be able to say,
"This is who I am",
And know you'll be safe,
Despite your fears.

It's strange,
How even when you know,
What you need to say,
And that saying it,
Will change your life,
Still you can't quite do it,
For so long,
Until you're so sure,
It will be okay,
Even though you knew it would be fine,
The whole time.

I am not who you say I am,

I do not fit in boxes,
Except the ones,
I made for myself.

I am not for you to label:
"Fragile" or "Handle with care",
I'll tell you:
"This way up" and "Do not crush".

I will not conform to stereotypes,
Or another one's ideals,
Just to keep them happy,
At my expense.

I am not an anomaly,
A statistic or a test subject,
I do not need examining,
Or curing,
Or filling with drugs.

I will not judge,
On appearance,
And neither should you.

I am not who you say I am,
I am who I say I am,
And I will tell you in my own time.

Where can words reach?
How many ears will hear what I say?
How many eyes will see what I write?
Will they understand what I mean?
Or see no further than the words on the screen?
Can my humble words strike a chord?
Reach a key note in their heart?
How deep can words made for me be for them?
Does it matter?
Maybe I should just write,
Call them poems or ramblings,
I'll write anyway,
For me,
In the hope they'll mean something,
For you.

Take me with you
Beautiful sound
Let me fly as you do
Let me grace others with smiles
Show me a deeper truth
And let me show it to others too
Wash me in waves
Let me drift slowly away
As softly as leaves off trees
As gently as hands touch silk
As lightly as eyes gaze
On the face of beauty

Music take me as your own

Sometimes tears,
Are like walking through raindrops,
They hit you,
But they run off,
A few cling to you,
But not for long,
And you know that soon,
They'll dry.

But sometimes tears,
Are like walking through puddles,
That soak through your shoes,
Get your socks wet,
Keep your feet cold,
And won't go away,
Until you get inside,
And pull off your shoes,
And your socks,
And walk bare-footed,
Until they dry,
And you can face the storm,
Another time.

I'm lonely,
Beneath it all,
I'm different,
So different,
From everyone I know,
Few can see past it,
Fewer still can get past it,
To be by my side,
Even for a while,
So I'm lonely,
But for my friends,
My true friends,
And a language.

The palms of my hands,
Caught all my tears,
And the tiring skin,
Betrays my fears.

You alone,
May know my skin,
Though my gloves,
Are beckoning.

Hold them then,
And feel me shake,
Don't let me think,
While I lie awake.

I'll let you guide me,
And let you trace,
The footsteps I,
Could never face.

Please pull me free,
With your perfect touch,
And show me how,
To be in love.

Was he afraid to acknowledge end?
Or did he greet Death as a friend?

Did he accept?
Or refuse protest?
Did he step softly in silent submission?
And slip slowly away by own decision?
Or perhaps he struggled and fought his fate?
In disbelief? But all too late.
Did terminal claws ***** his skin?
Hold firm and drag him kicking in?

Was his killer known?
Did he die alone?
Were his last words self-pitiful lies?
Or pleading for mercy in desperate cries?

And was it wrong for him to die?
Then, still with youthful eyes?
Or did his cruel mistress Destiny decide,
That old age would not worry his mind?
That all he'd need were brief, fleeting glances,
To longingly watch Eternity's dances?

Did God decree?
That all he'd see,
Would be untouchable by his hand?
Was every drop of fresh pain planned?

When his body froze with sharpened chill,
Did corrupted shouts of anger still,
Provide his soul with empty reason,
To rebel against is heart with treason?

And was that why?
At his last sigh,
He finally lost his mind?
Or made himself blind,
To his past?
At last.

Yet despite it all,
He still recalls,
Himself in vain memorial.

I'm tired, I think,
But a smile is enough,
Or a laugh,
Or a hug,
Or a single word,
And suddenly I could be,
Skipping to class,
With my eyes shining.

We speak a language,
Different to all,
Our words placed in moments,
Memories.
A glint in the eye,
Or eyebrow raise,
And we know we're speaking in code,
And suddenly we're all,
Laughing.
And though we all know,
That we're all filled,
With burdens,
For those moments we make memories,
And those memories keep us sane,
Keep us smiling,
And burn brighter,
At least for a while,
Than all the shadows of our past,
And right then the whole world,
Is adorabubbly.

Around my neck,
Three beads,
That mean too much to me.

Within my mind,
A girl,
That no one else can see.

But one word,
It snaps,
The whole thing falls apart.

The necklace becomes,
My noose,
That hangs and chokes my heart.

What questions did they answer?
I thought as I picked up the note,
Written were the two sides,
Of unasked questions: 'Yes' and 'No',
Which meant truth?
Which deceit?
Why when they answered,
Did they not dare to speak?
Were their friend's ears too sharp?
Were they too scared to say?
Did their throat dry up?
Was there no other way?
Perhaps it meant nothing,
Just some lighthearted fun?
But really, yes and no always mean something,
Somewhere, to someone.

Why do I write?
Because I can?
Because I must?
Because I should?
No.

I write for that feeling,
That heavenly feeling,
Of absolute freedom.

No boundaries,
When I write,
Imagination is the only limit,
Whatever I want to happen,
Wherever I want to go,
Whoever I want to be,
Is my choice.

I create worlds,
Build lives,
Change perceptions,
Resolve conflict,
At my will.

I can escape to the place of my choosing,
I can be lying beneath an ancient oak in summer,
With my friends,
Becoming better friends,
For a while.

I can redo,
Restart,
Rewind,
Erase,
All mistakes,
All sadness,
If I want.

I can fly and touch the clouds,
Or tame the fiercest beast,
Or battle demons,
Or influence cultures,
Or invent machines,
Or be myself,
Completely and utterly,
Simply by putting a pen to paper,
Or fingers to keys,
And writing something.

Anything.

If looks could ****,
Mirrors would be deadly.

Did I do enough?
Am I ready?
Or will I just crumble,
Crack,
And fall,
Collapse,
Lose it,
And walk out,
Knowing it's over,
My goal,
Too far away.

Joy could be,
Nothing but lies,
As could love.

But I could not care less,
These lies are kind.

Such a blessing,
Radiant friendship,
An understanding,
Gilded with laughter,
Warm smiles,
And a subtle sense of:
*I am home

There was once a tale of a girl in her coat,
Who ran with the stars in the sky,
You'd only see her if you'd lost all hope,
And had no reason why,
She'd find you in the darkness and tell you where she'd been,
Then tell of how she used to be a little boy who sinned.

It was often said the tale of the girl in the coat,
Was made up and false,
But many swore they's seen her ghost,
When all their doors were closed,
They say she finds you in the depths of your despair,
To tell you where she'd been and how long it took to grow her hair.

Now many years have passed and the tale of the girl in the coat,
Has somehow died,
The say it's because she could never cope,
No matter how hard she tried,
But if you look in the dark when you're lost she'll still find you,
To tell you where she'd been and tell you what you ought to do.

Blasting bass in my right ear,
A broken headphone to my left,
Vaguely the sounds of an old hamster wheel,
And a clanking, broken filter,
Disconnect the music,
Pull it apart,
And tie it round my heart.

Something in my head,
Saying "Go on!"
"Why not tell them?"
Something else says,
"Well, because..."

One of my friends,
Saying "Go on!"
"Why not live a little?"
My voice replying,
"Well, because..."

All of my heart,
Saying "Go on!"
"Why not be yourself for once?"
And all of my fear reminds me,
"Well, because..."

But then my heart says,
"Forget reason, follow me."
So I do.

Shouting,
Chanting,
And the clashing shoulders,
Feet driving,
Heads smashing,
Passion high,
Determined rage,
Focused on one thing,
Keep pushing,
One more yard,
One foot,
An inch,
And down,
-
Release.

The marks on my window,
The scars of past journeys,
The imperfect reminders,
Of a thousand other stories,
Of other tiring souls,
Other busy souls,
Restless souls,
Who, watching the same dismal landscape,
Found thoughts wandering,
The same way,
To somewhere darker now gone,
To somewhere brighter, still to come,
To the time if only they could change,
To a time they long to know again,
To a time far away,
From those marks on the window,
And the stifled, silent tears,
As they cried a journey,
From.city centre on a train.

Sitting on steps,
In the last gasps of summer,
Like wannabe film stars,
Without stresses or fear,
Though we never said,
We all knew,
The importance,
Of that moment,
To just breathe and smile,
Us six,
Though we never said,
We were friends.

Am I truly broken?
Or is it just what people say?
Am I truly falling?
Or flying a different way?

Is that why I find it hard?
Because I'm not sure?
But I am sure,
But I'm not sure the rest of the world is sure,
But I'm sure they don't want to be.

I keep saying it hurts,
But that's not it,
It's discomfort,
At other's discomfort.

Listen to me then,
All who say it makes no sense,
All who "can't understand",
Listen to me then,
Maybe if you'd just care,
For a second long enough to,
Listen to me then,
And hear me tell you clearly,
You don't get it? OK, so,
Listen to me then!
And I don't mean watch my lips,
Form the words, you need to,
Listen to me then,
You might take in what I mean,
If you actually just,
Listen to me then,
Listen to yourself.

When I was a baby,
My greatest fear,
Was my twin sister's teeth.

When I was a toddler,
My greatest fear,
Was tripping and falling down.

When I was four,
My greatest fear,
Was losing my teddy dog.

When I was six,
My greatest fear,
Was losing the friends I'd got.

When I was seven,
My greatest fear,
Was getting my times tables wrong.

When I was eight,
My greatest fear,
Was my best friend feeling bad.

When I was nine,
My greatest fear,
Was going to my best friend's house.

When I was ten,
My greatest fear,
Was that he'd go to the same high school.

When I was eleven,
My greatest fear,
Was the people who were bigger than me.

When I was twelve,
My greatest fear,
Was my best friend.

When I was thirteen,
My greatest fear,
Was telling my best friend no.

When I was fourteen,
My greatest fear,
Was that now I'd be alone.

When I was fifteen,
My greatest fear,
Was losing my girlfriend.

Now I'm sixteen,
My greatest fear,
Is being forced to be the myself,
That everyone believes,
But me.

To the sound of brutal raindrops,
Insistent in the cloud-covered evening,
Tired engines spluttered home,
And slept,
While the raindrops’ cries,
Went on undeterred,
By fatigue or unrest,
Pounding against the frantic wings,
Of a single bird dismissed,
By most as unclean,
Uncivilised,
Untouchable,
But still it flew,
Despite the raindrops,
Angry even now,
But never strong enough,
To drive a determined reject to the Earth.

Did those stones remember
Those words we spoke
As had been spoken
Centuries before

Did the soil recall
The footprints of those
Who made the journey here
Centuries before

Did we think then
The same thoughts
As the radicals who met
Centuries before

To whom I owe so much

To the precisely tuned notes,
And harmonies,
Came the song of:
Yes!
It's me at last!
In that mirror smiling back,
Choking on her tears of joy,
Stood a girl.
A girl!
Me!

Don't cry,
They'll know,
Your makeup will run,
And they'll make fun,
Again.

Don't cry,
They'll see,
Your mask will break,
Tears wash it away,
Again.

Don't cry,
They'll hear,
And they always blame you,
"It's not what we do,"
Again.

Don't cry,
Not here.

If I were to stand outside,
I'd look up to the stars,
And see across,
Endless voids,
That sing to me,
With distant whispers,
Drawing me in,
Despite the chill,
Despite the dark,
Beyond the dark,
Something more,
Something there,
Where nothing can be,
What?

When the lightning came,
I sat alone,
Hugged tight to my guitar.

When the lightning came,
I played alone,
And let the music drown the rain.

When the lighting came,
I sang alone,
Wrapped my throat in warm words.

When the lightning came,
I found alone,
The softest selfish lullaby.

When the lightning came,
I was alone,
Only if I fell silent.

Summer shades,
Vibrant, free, proud,
Cascading down hillsides,
Bursting from earth,
To fill young minds with hope,
And show old eyes colour again,
Keep the wheel turning,
Keep the candle burning,
Once the summer breeze dies,
And autumn gales take their place,
Keep the flame lit,
Though some colours will die,
And petals will fall,
Leaves will take their place,
With their swan song in gold,
And a taste in the air,
A promise.

Surrounded,
Flashes stain my vision,
Flames lap at my feet,
Burning,
Screaming:
Faster!
Faster!
Run!
So I do,
With blisters,
Shooting pain,
As I choke,
With soot on my breath,
And run.

And here's the end,
Now to work,
Learn again,
Write again,
Keep it there,
In your head,
Don't understand,
Just learn it,
Keep going,
Don't tire,
Focus.

*Focus!

I can hear my breaths,
Panic and sweat,
I'm trembling,
Avoiding eye contact,
But knowing I have to eventually,
Take that step,
That leap,
To be honest,
With me.

There's a bite in the air,
And a taste of inspiration,
Clouds loom,
In dark song,
And the gentle pulse,
Of tired cars,
And streetlight spotlights,
To be my stage.

Stop,
Listen,
Time to shine.

I'm not dead,
Nothing changed,
Just because you see me different,
Doesn't mean I'm not the same.

I'm not lost,
I went the right way,
Just before I followed blindly,
In fear of what you'd say.

I'm not confused,
I know who I am,
Just because you don't get it,
Doesn't mean I give a ****.

Don't tell me what's in my head,
I know far better than you.

There's no going back,
The time is gone,
Now,
The time is lost,
And the eyes,
Are closed,
Now,
But I am here,
I will never go,
So be strong,
Now.