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Aug 2015 · 196
Shadow of strings
A song lies in the shadow on the wall,
Cast by an unused guitar,
Beneath its tiring strings,
A hoodie tossed aside,
A story of rebellion lies within,
Those man-made fibres,
Dyed black as the hair I wish I had,
And resting on the sleeve,
Forgotten,
Glasses,
That let me see clearly,
And now all is a blur,
But the poem I write,
To remember and cope,
Another night,
Another day.
Aug 2015 · 174
Another love poem
In her eyes,
I see molten desire,
A dream held,
To fly,
Further,
And weave,
Stories beyond compare,
Held in that,
Perfectly intricate mind.
Aug 2015 · 123
Yes
Yes
I have now become,
What I have always wanted,
Trusted, happy, loved.
Aug 2015 · 168
One More Dance
She lies asleep,
Escaping in dreaming,
Singing softly through the forest that confines her,
She longs for the sky,
She longs to see the world,
And pleads the light to let her go.

She lies asleep,
Afraid of falling,
Running scared through the forest that defines her,
She longs to be safe,
She hides from the truth,
And tells the light, no!

She lies asleep,
Shaking, but still,
Alive, pacing through the forest that refined her,
She knows it must be hard,
She knows what she must do,
And watches the light she'll never know.

She lies asleep,
Ready and waiting,
Dancing, alive, through the forest that's behind her,
She longs to breathe,
She longs to wake,
And the light takes her hand for one more dance
Dust floats in my breath,
Reflecting in moonlight,
Which breaks through,
My windows,
That river of dreams,
Floats unaware,
Above my still open eyes,
Until whispered,
Away.
Aug 2015 · 153
Can't you? [clean edit]
I am not afraid to own up to the fact,
That I have made enough mistakes,
For a thousand lifetimes.

And I am not afraid to accept the fact,
That the things I've done,
Have hurt enough people,
And shed enough blood,
To send me straight to hell.

And I am not afraid to admit to the fact,
That no matter how many times I try to make up for it,
My soul is lost,
My mind is lost,
And my heart is lost.

But if a messed up idiot like me,
Is still able to accept that some people are different,
And is still able to love them for who they are,
And doesn't judge people for where they came from or who they love,
Then why can't you?
Aug 2015 · 244
Can't you?
I am not afraid to own up to the fact,
That I have ****** things up enough,
For a thousand lifetimes.

And I am not afraid to accept the fact,
That the **** I've done,
Has hurt enough people,
And shed enough blood,
To send me straight to hell.

And I am not afraid to admit to the fact,
That no matter how many times I try to make up for it,
My soul is ******,
My mind is ******,
And my heart is ******.

But if a ****** up ******* like me,
Is still able to accept that some people are different,
And is still able to love them for who they are,
And doesn't judge people for where they came from or who they love,
Then why can't you?
Aug 2015 · 236
Sixteenth
Behind me,
Years,
Too few,
And too many,
Spent afraid,
But so many,
Left to live,
Left to smile,
To be myself,
For my sixteenth year,
I will be me,
Every day,
For the first time.
Aug 2015 · 194
The day before
Once again,
I'm waiting,
Preparing for something new,
And yet exactly the same,
An unimportant day?
Perhaps,
For you,
But for me,
Everything changes.
Aug 2015 · 300
Pointless music
The beats pound through my head,
The words mean nothing,
But silence hurts,
So it keeps thumping through my head,
Filling the emptiness,
With empty words,
And shallow meanings,
To remind me,
I can do better.
Aug 2015 · 242
Now-distant
The time is dripping slowly,
As dew falls from webs,
In the now-distant winter mornings,
When I would run to my place,
My haven,
My safety,
As fast as I could,
But still the time dripped slowly,
As the words I heard,
In the now-silent whispers of spring breeze,
When I would stop and stare,
At beauty,
At water,
That ran as fast as it could,
And yet the time will drip slowly,
As the emptiness of summer days,
In the too-long months of not knowing,
When I will lose myself,
Lose hope,
Lose sanity,
Waiting for those drips of long-lost time to fall.
Aug 2015 · 134
Characters
Characters hide
In the dark
And hide
In the light
But only some
Escape to
My hand
And
Find a way
Into
Other minds
And other hearts
Aug 2015 · 283
Should have
There's a spear in my head,
Where I know I should have bled,
Had I collapsed and hit the kitchen counter top.

There's a splinter in my eye,
Where I know I should have cried,
With the pain that crushed me had I not stopped.

There's a stinging on my wrist,
Where the blade should not have missed,
Had it not been for my best friends pleas.

There's a necklace on my neck,
Where I should have killed a wreck,
Had it not been for the one who made me freeze.

I should have died,
But I did not,
So I better make it worth it.
Aug 2015 · 188
What I mean...
There's a word in my head,
But I can't quite get it out,
It won't make itself known,
As if,
Scared to be seen,
To even have a single eye,
Cast its fleeting gaze,
And even subliminally,
Comprehend.
Aug 2015 · 204
Fade
Fade  me away,
Out of sight,
At least to me,
For just a while.
Aug 2015 · 163
No stars
Could a more lonely sight,
Be found,
Than a lost and broken,
Girl crying,
Under a clouded sky?

Could a more bitter tear,
Be shed,
Than that of a child whose own,
Parents cannot,
Accept who she is?

Could more insincere words,
Be spoken,
Than that of a daughter,
Telling them,
"I'm fine" yet again?
Aug 2015 · 277
Skimming stones
Spinning, spinning,
Towards the surface,
With the certainty,
Of sinking,
Not swimming,
But unexpected,
Rising again,
Into the air,
And out of control,
Tumbling,
Up,
Up,
Up,
The down,
Down again,
And this time,
That's it
The very air is clung to,
With the whispers of summer,
Held in the gentle breaths,
Of a child-drawn swirl in crayons,
Are the smells of salt and sand between toes,
And the smiles of bathing,
Or basking in rare glimpses of sun,
Which disguise the one hollow rejected truth,
That this day won't last forever.
Aug 2015 · 669
Regret
I miss you,
Though you haven't left,
At least not yet,
But you're not all here.

I need you,
But I act like I don't,
I hurt you,
I pushed you too far.

I love you,
Though that's not fair,
I'm much less,
You deserve so much more.

I care about you,
But don't get too close,
I'm sorry,
The people near me get hurt.
Aug 2015 · 210
Pain between
My pain is remembered
In the cracks between
Each piece of my heart
In the time between
Each tear in my eye
In the breath between
Each self-hating cry
In the stutter between
Each hopeless restart
Aug 2015 · 273
Blade
.


And in the
   simple glint
       of sharpened
           steel designed
                for the simple
                    slicing of those
                        tasteless foods
                             that I can not
                                 consume without
                                    the bitter taste in
                                         my mouth
                                             perhaps I
                                                can find a  
                                                    release at                                        
                                                       last  from
                                                      ­    the   pain
                                                            ­  that   can
                                                             ­    crush  me
                                                       ­             everyday
                                           ­                              with
                                                            ­               not
                                                             ­             even
                                               ­                         a warn-
                                                           ­               -ing
Aug 2015 · 234
Doubt
Am I hiding?
Can you see me or not?
Did I run or just fall away?
Am I gliding?
Can my wings keep me up?
Have I broken myself just to say:
I am different?
Aug 2015 · 453
Ungrateful King
The sands scream when they hear my name,
The cliffs bow at my touch,
The ground carves a path for me,
The soil falls away with a single roar,
The living worship me,
The dead are consumed by me,
But still I run,
I do not relish my zenith,
Instead I shy away,
I escape to join the many before,
And hide.
Aug 2015 · 223
A secret place
Speckled light hides me,
For a while,
I am alone,
With my friends,
Only those who want me,
Only those who care,
Only those who accept who I am,
Though the ground cools as the sun sets,
Still I'll lie here,
And dream of a better time,
When I don't have to be alone,
To be happy,
And I don't,
I have my friends,
But I still have to escape,
From my family.
Aug 2015 · 141
Walk
Step after step fell,
Searching for new horizons,
But walking downhill.
Aug 2015 · 322
Just tired, OK?
I'm just tired.
That's all it is.
When I seem down,
When it looks like I've had enough,
When I just want to sit in my room on my own,
I'm just tired.

I'm just tired,
That's all it is,
When the things I used to love don't interest me,
When I put on my headphones and let music block out the real world,
When I scowl at my name,
I'm just tired.

I'm just tired.
That's all it is.
When I try to ignore you,
When I don't want to eat,
When you think you see the shimmer of a tear,
I'm just tired.

I'm just tired,
Tired of life,
So let me sleep.
Jul 2015 · 206
I left in Autumn
What can be found in the intricacies,
Of this organic design?
How many lives yet unborn,
Will know its rocky core?
How often will unknowing feet,
Walk the corridors?
How soon will memories fade,
Of where we used to live?
How far will we stray,
From autumn leaves?
Will the seasons live on,
Even now, when we are gone?
Will I find hope here?
Or just another life to lose?
Jul 2015 · 246
Undelivered
I waited, patient,
Expectations growing high,
But it never came.
Jul 2015 · 307
Late night writing
Shining,
Gleaming,
In the reflection,
Of a darkened window,
A power-saving lamp,
Lights the spiral bounds,
Of a single notebook,
That holds my inner,
Soul.
Jul 2015 · 314
Onslaught
So confusing,
All these unnecessary sounds,
And pointless words,
My jaw's on edge,
Tooth on tooth,
Grinding down,
With the same determination,
Held in each wave on each rock,
Breaking,
Devouring slowly,
Over eternity.

My ears bombarded,
With the same blind hope,
Of shots in the dark,
Fired without aim,
Out of shattered rifles,
From desperate hearts.

End the onslaught,
Let me leave.
Jul 2015 · 793
New understanding
I'm complex.
Not simple as you have been told,
In the channels and divisions of your mind,
I take many paths,
Each defined and broken between my hands,
Which gracefully crush,
Barbarically love,
Until the inner-workings of your heart,
Escape to the outside,
Where truth flows in rivers,
And drowns the fruit of hate,
A new understanding,
That we cannot contemplate.
Jul 2015 · 243
Crash
Hopeful,
Right there,
So close,
Then vibrations,
No control,
Broken,
Helpless,
Dead straight,
Towards the wall,
Screaming engines,
White smoke obscures,
Crunching gravel,
Then impact,
Black.
Jul 2015 · 339
6AM
6AM
A cold sunrise,
Frozen sky,
Shatters in my eye.

Clouded breaths,
Crystallised motion,
Melted by emotion.
Jul 2015 · 172
Kiss
When lips touch,
Two breaths meet,
Three words shared between,
The two connected souls,
Taste each others' voices,
And hear each others' pulse,
For a moment,
That lasts so long,
Yet passes so quickly.
Jul 2015 · 208
Empty handed
In my head I had it all planned out
How I'd ask her for that dance
I'd rehearsed my smile and tone

But in the end she never arrived
And never took my hand
So I sat alone and watched the others' joy

My throat tightened, choking me
With the pain of pointless time
And after all I went home empty handed, empty hearted.
Jul 2015 · 210
Echoes [Part-3]
A vanished smile on my lips
Music through my dark
Caresses my ears as I walk
No urgency
No slumber
Every step content
To fall softly on the earth
That cushions my journey
With no direction
But not needing one
Accompanied by my song
I explore the depths of my mind
Jul 2015 · 230
Echoes [Part-2]
Laying back
A breeze calms my breath
And though summer winds grace reality
This morning is autumn chill
Between the rusty leaves of age
A youthful sun softly wakes
My jet black hair in moments gleams
And closed eyes are tempted to stir
The pale of my skin unblemished by scars
Has healed and relaxed again
Jul 2015 · 276
Echoes [Part-1]
Streams trickle
Gently through my head
The sun sleeps
But light persists
Strands of my hair
Glisten as I surface
And stars shine
In the drops across my eyes
Soaked white silk
Drapes across my shoulders
Young grass' dew
Dampens my bare feet
And I close my eyes
In an imagined world
And sing gently
Echoes keep me company
Jul 2015 · 826
Dying flower
The petals are brown,
The leaves shredded into blades,
But beneath alive.
Jul 2015 · 579
Long hair, Short temper.
Crushing teeth,
Open mouth,
Compacting until eventually,
Oceans of fear then,
Nothing.
Unless,
This is not the end.
Jul 2015 · 251
Humanity's compromise
Step back,
Into the shadows,
And hide,
Or pay.

Kneel down,
Under the radar,
And hide,
Or pay.

Mouth shut,
Keep your secrets,
And hide,
Or pay.

Be anything you want,
Just don't be different.
Jul 2015 · 325
A letter
Dear Eagle,

If you read this,
Which I doubt you will,
Please know I'm thinking of you.

I know not how long,
Before I see you again,
But I'm dreaming of watching you fly.

I'm not rushing in,
I'll take my time, this time,
To ensure we both soar not one or the other.

My heart is strong,
And will not fall with fear,
But will tremble on hearing your voice.

I'll see you soon, Eagle,
And when I do,
I'll glide alongside you.
Jul 2015 · 187
Subtleties
Her eyes behind shades
Voice singing the song I sang
Hands tracing circles in her hair  

My eyes drawn to hers
My voice yearning to catch hers in my lips
My hands dream of following hers  

Could her world become mine?
Jul 2015 · 223
Eagle, stay
Eagle don't fly away,
Believe in my voice,
Let me join in your freedom,
And soar to the sky,
Let me watch over,
And protect you from harm,
Let me follow you,
Show me how to live before I die.
Jul 2015 · 176
Her
Her
She stirs
To remind the world to breathe
The sun dances from her eyelashes
The sky sings in her gaze
Every flower blooms at her sigh
Every wave caresses her hand
For that moment the whole Earth wakes with their most perfect creation.
Don't forget me, Eagle,
As you soar away from pain,
Your fear of heights pushed away,
Replaced with new escape.
You told me to write a poem,
Of the red sun on green waves,
And said you wished to fly,
For the sake of being strong.
You told me to stop thinking,
And live life instead.
And you wished to be the only one,
Alive in this place.
So don't forget me, Eagle,
Because I will not forget you.
Jul 2015 · 187
Does it reach them?
I wonder do they see
The sadness in my eyes?
Does the pain show when I smile?
Or have I learned to hide?

I wonder do they feel
The brokenness in each breath?
The exhaustion that cannot be healed by sleep
Does it reach them in my sigh?

I wonder do they miss
The one I used to be?
Who didn't know the loss of living
Lies on top of lies.
Jul 2015 · 171
Drift
Drift over skies of falling hearts,
Let your hand trace the ripples in their reflection,
Dreams beneath your feet,
Lives behind your eyes,
Curses on your breath,
Watch the tears sail by on broken clouds,
And hear their cries,
But do not fear their lies,
For on their lips grows deceit,
But in your soul,
A burning joy,
That keeps you sane,
Let it.
Jul 2015 · 230
Pay your debts
Bite me cold
Or crush me whole
For underfoot I stamp on souls
Of those that went the wrong way.

Steal my life,
All I know is strife
And the taste of a ****** knife,
When they knew not the right words to say

Burn my mind
All you left behind
Who still couldn't find
The means to pay

Your debts will torture you
As they have me
Fair?
Jul 2015 · 202
Poems
Don't write themselves,
But I'm not going to write them for you.
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