a little boy killed himself today
i did now know him
Or go to school with him
he was only a freshman in high school,
no more than 15 years old
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
because he felt like he was all alone in this great big world
because he thought he was a burden
because he hit rock bottom
because he felt he had nowhere to go
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
he will never walk across that stage in his cap and gown
he will never get the promotion
he will never see his bride walk down the aisle
or his child take their first steps
a little boy killed himself today.

a little boy killed himself today
because he thought things would never get better.

but they do get better.
maybe not today, or tomorrow
maybe not even next week.
but they do get better.

this little boy that i tell you about
was overwhelmed with darkness
he felt like he was drowning
and he probably felt like his cries were going unheard.

i know this because I was once this boy.
but something inside me kept telling me
that it gets better
so i held out
and
things
got
better.
they got better for me
and i promise you that things will get better for you too.

"suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better"

I found a pair of shoes while walking
across a bridge like I often do
Neatly placed below the rail
as if they expected you
but you shall not return

I found them on my stroll to town
which I take on Sunday am
Neatly placed there
as though you’d come again
but you shall see them no more

I dare not disturb them
These shoes which do not know
that I gazed upon your presence
In broken disregard in waterway below
for you shall see them no more

Instead I walked onward
with errands far too many
And attempted not think of how your shoes
reminded me of me
and my desire to join you there

and be seen no more

I am not mother, just lover,
to legs never met. Housewife, I once dreamed
of sweat over ovens, oh only to love in,
places I was told not to go. I am wet for another
touch, weak knee for ****, low self esteem,
I am student supreme.

I don't miss ******* on your brothers bed, sweating on plastic wrapped mattresses,
Or hitting my head on the frame,
Hearing my name when you came,
Or laughing about getting caught too many times to count,
I don't miss wasting away on your couch, watching Game Show Network and eating takeout,
Or making out after fighting,
Or turning out the lights in the house to sneak by the rest of the family after ***,
I don't miss it but I digress

Miss Agnes Columbus
What are you doing?
What is your calling?
What path are you pursuing?
Your mother wants a teacher
Your father wants you married.
Poor miss Agnes Columbus
Now wonder you are harried.

Miss Agnes Columbus
What are you doing?
What is your calling?
What path are you pursuing?

Unlike famous Christopher
You don’t travel in the world.
You stay home all the time
And set your hair to curl.
You read all the magazines
And know all the styles.
What makes you happy Agnes?
What makes you smile?

Your mother wants a teacher
Your father wants you married.
Poor miss Agnes Columbus
Now wonder you are harried.

You write inside your diary
That nobody ever reads.
Your mother and your father
Doubt where it will lead.
Whoever will hire a poet,
A creator of hidden rhymes?
You are not Emily Dickenson
And this is not olden times.

Miss Agnes Columbus
What are you doing?
What is your calling?
What path are you pursuing?
Your mother wants a teacher
Your father wants you married.
Poor miss Agnes Columbus
Now wonder you you are harried.

I see fire
burning up the roads
behind me.
It remindes me
there's nothing left,
but cinder and smoke
in the place
I used to call home.